You live somewhere where those are the only burger options? At least Five Guys serves food but yeah not that great.
The local places that aren't part of chains are no better. The problem is that nobody working at any of these places gets paid enough to give a damn, so they don't. The quality of the food they offer suffers as a result. I'm better off just doing my own cooking, but that day I just didn't have the spoons.
I just wanted a taste of my childhood. I don't think that was so much to ask.