That's what's going on in the sky right now, at 2:20am EST.
I have been suffering from a lack of motivation. I'm *hoping* that the "ooh, shiny!" newness of Gemini might help push some kind of motivation into my brain, because there are a lot of things I've been attempting to do which I am failing at. I think of it like inertia; there are things which I do by habit that aren't conducive to accomplishing what I want to get accomplished. But it is inordinately difficult to break free of those habits.
The habits are thus: When I sit down at my computer, I ultimately will put on videos of Judge Judy cases and knit. This gives my brain just enough stimulation that thinking about other things in any depth is a bit of a struggle, and it ensures my hands are too busy to do anything else. Now, the knitting is actually a goal of mine; I'm working on a very large and convoluted blanket for a friend of mine, so I do need to be working on it at least a little every day. Which is how this habit got started, I'm sure. But I can spend hours at this, whole days go by with little else happening. (Obviously, when I have work, I go to work, but aside from that.)
There are realistic things and unrealistic things.
Among the realistic things are the following:
Among the unrealistic things are:
I often wonder, especially lately, if there are neurological reasons for my issues with shifting and focusing. I don't know if the question is meaningful, though, because regardless of the answer I'm not sure what could really be done to remedy this particular effect. I don't have health insurance right now, so any medical remedies (if they exist) are beyond me. So I have to make do on my own.
I intend to work on this.
Before I went to sleep (after I wrote the above section) I spent a good deal of time browsing through various other pages here in SmallSpace and was particularly struck by one. [1]
This is written in such a wholesome and approachable way I was instantly draw in. As the great Chuck Tingle would say, this proves love. I often find that my habitual ways of expressing love are lacking in some way - lacking for me, or lacking for those I love, or in some other way ineffective. This made me remember that love is action - making food, what a great form of showing love! Even if you are only cooking for yourself, is it not important to show yourself love? Of course.
And I like also what is said, not just how it is said.
The idea that I could make noodles was revolutionary. I have never thought that I could make noodles. "I have to buy noodles," I would think instead. I'm not someone who finds it important to be "self sufficient" with regards to the food I make or eat, I don't mind at all to buy noodles for instance, but when I have the energy I find a lot of joy in the making of food. Like I said, it's an act of love. So the idea that I could make noodles gave me great joy.
noodles
noodles are simple and versatile.
mix one measure of water and two measures of flour. knead until it goes smooth. add more flour when you need to; it is important the noodles are not sticky.
flatten the dough into a rectangle, noodle length. slice into noodles. use flour to stop noodles sticking to other noodles.
to cook, add to boiling water right before the end.
enjoy.
I tried this recipe for noodles (using 1 cup US / about 237 ml for my "measure") and as soon as the dough began to form I could feel the joy increase. I made short noodles which were a little thick, and while they were boiling I was a little worried. I have some sensory issues with food sometimes, and things like dumplings or thick dough *can* set me off a bit, so I was worried I might have made the noodles *too* thick. But this was not so! They came out delicious. For the first test boil, I put salt in the water before it boiled, so they were a little salty just like I like. The flour that was keeping them from sticking to one another thickened the water into something like a gravy, so I added soy sauce to that and tried it. They were great!
For the rest of my noodles (they were short like I said so I wound up with a good deal of them) I made more water in a larger pot. I put salt and soy sauce and garlic and some beef broth in here, and let it boil. Then the noodles went in. I also chopped up some chicken and fried it and added it to the noodles and sauce. It was so good! I shared with both my partners and they enjoyed it too. (I put some chili sauce on mine after I was halfway done, just for some kick.)
It felt so good to make something from scratch for my house and to have it turn out good. I think next time, I would also put some chopped onions and peppers before I boil the water, and I would try my best to make the noodles a bit thinner. Maybe if I take smaller portions of dough at a time to roll out and cut... I think that would work. And I might try to fry the noodles, just to see what would happen. Maybe a neat crispy treat.
Thank you, Noa! You have given me a lot of happiness today!
1] The text in question was at one time available on Noa's gemini space, which is here:
It resides there no longer (as of time of writing) but can still be found in http space here:
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