March 30th, 2022 [tw selfharm (only last two ¶s)]

Our flatmate's girlfriend had issues with a person on her room rental flat. The person is addicted to drugs, had been snorting in the kitchen, and Russian mafia pounds on the flat's door to collect a debt.

That person has bullied her about doing her share of the cleaning on the flat. She already avoided using the common spaces as much as possible. She has anxiety neurosis and a damaged spine.

She started spending time in our flat a lot, with time only occasionally trying to go sit down to work in her room rental, but she is traumatized by the place.

Until June she is tied to pay for the place.

This week with our help she brought her tower PC here and one of the monitors. She can now do her work here without needing to attempt to via remote login.

It stands in our living room that has amphitheatre acoustics directing it to the corridor at the end of which is my and my qgf's room.

She has a mechanical keyboard with red switches. She plays rhythmic games (osu).

Maybe she doesn't play them much. Even if it's 2am sometimes. But she still sometimes seems to be pressing keys repeatedly a lot with excessive force.

But my intervals of insomnia last night must have been due to my other thoughts.

But I told her my thoughts on that that night. And I was very grim/grumpy sounding from my other problems. She was defensive and got upset. It was just another thing adding to how I felt like selfharming. Luckily I ended up not.

But that's just the second time mi being close to selfharming, i.e. the second time mi neglected to take her escitalopram antidepressant for a few days. I was close and only a coincidence made me not like i had the first time that was my first time.

Before the first time what i lacked for years was the technique idea (and its environmental feasibility) that adjusted for my phobia.