I'm not scared by it, I just feel defeated.

If the water runs out, I will go thirsty for a few days or I will die.
If the food runs out, I will go hungry for a few weeks or I will die.
If a new virus spreads, I will either defeat it (vaccine) or I will die.
If a war breaks out and my house is reduced to rubble, I will live impoverished for a few months but I'll be okay.
If the ultra-right take to power and kick out anyone they don't like, I will move or I will stay and I might die.

There's something peaceful about accepting the possibility that you might die. For one, the world might not get better, and so you've likely already lived out the best parts of your life. For another, the wealth you've scrimped and saved your entire life that barely got you by can be transferred to your next of kin, and they'll be much better off for it. You will live on through them. If you're a digital artist/programmer of sorts, then your works will live on in various repositories or online portals, and if you license it right, people will use your work as a stepping stone to greater works.

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~nsilvestri wrote:

Ah, nihilism/stoicism. Easier on paper than in practice. I've tried to address with this meditation in the past but it's a long process and I wasn't able to follow through then. Recently I've been coming back to the idea that it's the way I have to get through the current days, because otherwise I'm a useless puddle.