Published the 2022-01-10 on Stacy Harper's blog

40 days to HRT

Should I be confident on that statement ? How can I be sure I'll really start HRT this time ?

One year ago, I started 2021 calling an hospital near of where I live. I followed my doctor advise, she made some research to redirect me to the best alternative. The group of doctors I meet is named the GRETTIS. They got a good reputation and they seems to be up to date about trans-identity. They doesn't looks like doors keepers.

I waited 2 months from my phone call to the appointment. I meet an andrologist doctor cause I already knew I wanted HRT. She asked questions about family health antecedents. Mum thanks you, I wouldn't be able to answer to anything without you… She then explained how we'll be going. I'll have to meet 3 other doctors first to start HRTs. One surgeon and two psychologists… No HRT for today !

The day later, I took my phone to make some calls. The first administrator I called took the appointment with the surgeon in 4 months. You heard me out, 4 months ! I took my phone again and tried to call for the psychologist part. The next available appointment will be in 6 months this time.

I was devastated. I cried. My mum called me, I didn't answered.

It's been 7 months from my coming out as a trans-woman. First months was slow to let me accommodate to my new identity. I needed some adaptations and introspection to really think about who I am and what I want to be. How I want to show myself. How I want to be seen. And what do I want from my body.

It's been 3 months that I know I want HRTs and that I am basically waiting. I cant show myself naked to another person. It looks impossible to me to go to the swimming pool with friends. Or to have intimate moments with someone else. I am literally suspending parts of my life. Battery preservation mode on.

And now I learnt I'll have to wait another 6 months. The summer is coming and will be painfully. The worse is that it's only a prior step to finally take a new appointment back to the andrologist. An what if something happen with the psychologist ? Or if the surgeon say something ?

So I waited…

September came and I meet the surgeon. As I expected it, nothing really unusual happened. I cant really plan any surgical procedure yet. I'll have to wait 1 or 2 years under HRT to see how my body behave and if I need additional surgical help. The surgeon was really cool and gave me a good feeling. I'll definitely come back to him when I'll need it.

2 months later I meet the psychologist. The last planned road to the near big city ! He was also really cool. It looks like this GRETTIS is only composed of good doctors. The only real point is the delay between phone calls and appointments. The psychologist said they have few dedicated moments for the group. He only meet trans persons one afternoon every 2 weeks. It is all about resource dispatching after all…

Fortunately he said he doesn't need a second opinion. The andrologist wasn't very aware that 2 psychologist appointments wasn't mandatory. So I leaved the big city happier than before.

The road wasn't very clear for now. I had to wait a little bit cause they meet every trimester. Bad luck it is October, I missed it for the end of the year… Two weeks later I'll have to make some phone calls to different administrations to be sure I am registered for their future RTP (dunno what that mean). After they redirected me 2 times to 2 different hospital, I finally join someone who can confirm I am registered for the next RTP February the 10. A last phone call back to the andrologist to make an appointment for the 18 and I'm done !

Here we go, another 3 months waiting. It's been almost 2 months now. 40 days until February the 18. I'll meet the andrologist again, having meet the surgeon, the psychologist. After they all 3 made their "RTP" the week just before. After I made a blood analysis to check my levels. After I paused my life for a year.

What could go wrong ?

If this post inspired you, feels free to leave a comment !

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