2021-05-11 Dear mom

Dear mom,

I’m glad you died

It’s not your fault

Our society isn’t made to help people like you

Your murder was just one failure among many by a society that determines our hands before the cards are dealt

A society that kills us all before we’re even born

if we happen to be born needing help

You never got that help

that help was never there

The only thing that was there were the cops

who were friends with Ski, Mark’s dad

who was connected to the police in a way that you never really explained to me

so everything conveniently was swept under the rug

Even the time the house was set on fire

less than 6 months from when I moved in with you

four days before Christmas

two days after school had let out

My friends across the lake thought the red and blues were our Christmas decorations

until they remembered

Clear as day on the recording

“My stepdad set the house on fire”

but even that wasn’t enough

a convenient explanation that I “misunderstood”

or “misspoke”

knowing full well I spoke the truth

Three more years of the same

Calling the police and nothing happening

I became an expert at patching walls

and an expert at building them

walls between me, you, mark

walls between me and the friends I had and could have had as one in the same

Eventually it happened

You pushed me

I pushed back

I was bigger by then, bigger than you realized

bigger than I realized

until I did

I remember you yelling for chewy

yelling for the man who eventually killed you to protect you

as I closed myself in my room

and called my dad to pick me up

after he’d dropped me back off the weekend before

and he knew he never should have left

I agreed to go to therapy after that

and still do

We barely talked after that

just an occasional five minute call

where neither of us were sure of what to say

you always asked why I left

and I always avoided the question

because you knew the answer

You never got better

not even after we involuntarily committed you

stripped you of your agency

ripped you from the arms

of the geriatric man

that I’m still not sure how you were conning him

Not even after you supposedly were getting better

Not after cory told me that you were doing better

Not after I wrote you off

as someone who couldn’t be fixed

as someone who wouldn’t be fixed

as someone already on borrowed time

We still don’t know what actually happened that night

why chewy was there

what set off the argument

we only know the outcome

that you’re gone

it wasn’t your fault

you didn’t ask for abusive men or to be assaulted as a child

you didn’t ask for the bipolar disorder

that cruelly made it even harder

for you to overcome itself

to overcome yourself

it wasn’t your fault

that the police valued their own

to protect and serve their own

it wasn’t your fault

that you’d voted time and time again

for those who let you suffer

it wasn’t our fault

there was nothing we could say or do

that’d make you change your mind

that’d make you accept our help

that’d make you get help

that’d make you ‘better’

it wasn’t his fault

he could have been any of the men from before

I can’t imagine what he felt when he realized what happened

what he did

what waited for him as the honduran man

who murdered a white woman

Having known him

through what little we were able to communicate

in his broken english and my non-existent spanish

he hadn’t hit you before then

he hadn’t hit you when I was there

why did he do it then?

Having known

the guilt I felt just from pushing you

I can’t imagine what he felt

what he feels now

just over ten years

after his mistake

and twelve years

after mine

You deserved so much more

We all deserve so much more

Even if it happened again today

as it does happen again every day

the outcome would be the same

nothing has changed

You would still fall through the cracks

Never getting connected to the services you’d need

Never getting anything more than a warning

from the cops I’d call

Never getting help

because there was no help to receive

I’m glad you died

because it’d still be the same if you hadn’t.