Apple sucks and I'm tired of it

All Apple products that I've ever used are incredibly shoddy. Let's break down why.

General issues

Apple, in general, views its products as, well, products. It attempts to control what its users can and cannot do with their computers, waging constant warfare on the concept of general-purpose computing.

Software

For obvious reasons, I haven't purposefully come within a ten-foot radius of Apple software since I've become tech-literate, so I'm positive that there are more issues with Apple software. Patches are welcome!

macOS's POSIX implementation is extraordinarily buggy. All the good parts are stolen from BSD and Mach. Contrary to popular belief, the UI is terrible - it doesn't give users the tools to become more knowledgeable. Lack of access to the source code makes users reliant on Apple to provide support. Proprietary APIs abound, locking developers into Apple's platform. macOS is increasingly similar to iOS, I would be surprised if it lasted another five years without becoming a thinly rebranded iOS knockoff.

There's so much wrong with iOS that I can't even begin to fathom how to express it all. The UI is the literal worst interface I could possibly imagine. The amount of lock-in and lockdown should be a criminal offence punishable by dismemberment of the executives responsible. The advertising and tracking APIs are violations of the trust that users put in the software vendor to look out for them. The propaganda about Apple being committed to privacy is a disgrace to any vendor even remotely privacy-conscious. The walled garden of apps is a crude mockery of any semblance of sane package management.

I don't have any first-hand experience with watchOS or tvOS, but from what I've seen they exhibit all the problems that other Apple software has - putting Apple's interests before the user's and having dubious technical merit.

Firmware

OpenFirmware isn't actually open, and USB booting on the only PowerBook I've used caused the system to hang indefinitely. EFI is a pain to deal with on MacBooks. I haven't yet had the "joy" of dealing with ARM MacBooks, but I bet the boot story won't be pretty.

iOS bootup is a nightmare hellscape, the only good thing is that at least there's an exploit which allows arbitrary code execution early in the boot sequence. The fact that this requires an exploit is exactly the issue.

As of the time of publication, there are no known watchOS/tvOS bootloader exploits, therefore these devices are worth less than an equivalently sized pile of toxic gas.

Hardware

I use Apple hardware (currently a MacBook 3,1, previously a MacBook 5,1, both running Alpine Linux) as my daily driver, so I have the most first-hand experience with the hardware side of things (lucky me!).

Update 2020-01-06: I have replaced my MacBooks with an Optiplex 9010 and a ThinkPad T420, both corebooted. Best decision I've made in quite a while.

The MacBook 3,1 runs extraordinarily loudly, the MacBook 5,1 runs extraordinarily hot. Regardless of what it tries, Apple seems to be incapable of coping with the fact that electronics produce heat. The (proprietary, yay) chargers break (3,1's charger is extraordinarily frayed, had to buy a replacement for the PowerBook G4 charger). All Apple products are extraordinarily overpriced (or extraordinarily slow, depending on how you look at it). They somehow manage to make the laptop look (subjectively) uglier than a Thinkpad in exchange for terrible thermals. The 5,1 recently straight up died. Locks up completely somewhere inside the initramfs. I'd try to debug that, but it's practically impossible to take a MacBook apart.

Update 2020-01-06 (though the events in question happened a while ago): The issue with the 5,1 was a dead HDD. It worked mostly fine with an SSD, though the GPU is ridiculously terrible - it's actually /faster/ with LIBGL_ALWAYS_SOFTWARE set globally, and without that it randomly locks up.

Remember the iPhone 4 "you're holding it wrong" fiasco? 'Nuff said.

In conclusion, all Apple executives deserve to be drawn, quartered, resurrected, have lemon juice poured in their eyes, be launched into space with no protective equipment, brought back, cut up into small chunks, powdered, and used as animal feed.

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