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    '   anada                  "J'accuse Xmas"                   13 jan  '
   '     259                     by Schoolboy                     2001    '
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        So Christmas (or Xmas as I like to write because I�m a rather sad,
 pedantic atheist) has been and gone and thank fuck for that.  Xmas is even
 less fun than New Year�s eve as this is forced �enjoyment� with your family.
 Forced enjoyment is excruciating enough, and there�s scarcely anything worse
 than when it falls when you�re in a bad mood, but when you have to pretend
 to have fun AND like all your family you just want to run away screaming.

        I hope your Xmas was great, by the way, and you got all you wished
 for from this occasion.

        It is a clich� that families row during Xmas and why is that?  It�s
 because it�s Xmas.  We find we put so much pressure on ourselves not only to
 have fun but to have a sense of togetherness, kinship within the family
 unit, as it�s forced down our red-raw propaganda slots, that we totally lose
 it at the slightest sign of discord.

        It�s the same feeling that Xmas has to be a perfect time, surrounded
 by loving relatives that drives The Alone to suicide.  Jesus, isn�t Xmas
 shit?

        I�m not a Scrooge.  I go significantly into debt to fund the present
 buying, just so I can justify getting presents.  I confess it puts a smile
 on my face to get a present right and create gasps of joy from an elderly
 relative.  I like eating chocolate and drinking rich alcoholic beverages but
 I don�t really like it in the context of Xmas.

        Think about it.  What happened 4 Xmases ago.  Can you remember?  Can
 you remember anything much about Xmas in 1992?  Nope, neither can I.

        And what�s all this crap about Festive Spirit and �a time to be kind
 to your fellow man�.  EVERDAY should be a time to be kind to your fellow
 man!  It should be everyday that your boss comes in and insists we start the
 working day with a glass of bucks fizz and at least every other day he sends
 you home an hour early.

        All right, I went a bit far then but I mean we should help people out
 and be understanding at all times.  It is typical of Man that we should
 attempt to come up with a festive �period�.  To ghettoise the community
 instinct to the depths of winter is poetically telling of our flaws.

        Still, I suppose without Xmas we wouldn�t get ANY presents or enjoy a
 short period in the year when bosses smile at you, every other colleague
 brings in mince pies and chocolates and your employer virtually pays for
 your food for about a week with Xmas parties.

        But then without Xmas we wouldn�t have to travel in the worst weather
 possible for hours visiting family and spending $100 in unleaded (it�s $1.16
 per litre in Britain!!) to do it which is just about paid for by the Xmas
 money you get.

        The only thing you can�t argue about it is it�s going to happen every
 year for the rest of your life.  Merry life.
                                                                            
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 `   anada259   by Schoolboy                        (c) 2001 anada e'zine   `