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I too have suffered from depression. The work of Dr. David Burns have proven to be most helpful to me! I'd suggest checking out his website feelinggood.com or his new book "Feeling Great" - he also has a podcast. FWIW, Dr. Burns is not some kind of "self-help charlatan" He is a Stanford MD/Psychiatrist with decades of experience treating depression. Best wishes!
I'm maybe not the kind of FANG(m) hotshot HN user your seeking an answer from here... But...
Time spent in the selfless service of the betterment of community and humanity, the assistance of those less able than oneself, and the propagation of one's values into the future, on reflection doesn't often feel meaningless. Maybe think about how you can expand your thinking of your life to be more than just your own successful career path and you will find more fulfillment, and be more comfortable keeping high expectations.
As FANG and software eat the world, there is a lot of community, open tech, open source, decentralisation projects that need peoples help to keep the balance of power slipping away from us common plebs.
Another option is to look into the cosmic perspective.. get some sense of scale of humanity, and it's interconnected place in the long time line of the web of life in the world.. botany and geology are great for putting humans into perspective, and spending time outdoors looking at plants and rocks will also fight depression in many ways.
Maybe search of some blog where people write about their career paths in IT to get an idea of what others have done before.
“My clients are perfectionists,” says Alden Cass, a therapist to both corporate attorneys and men on Wall Street. [...] “They have very rigid ideals in terms of win-lose,” he continues. “Their expectations of success are through the roof, and when their reality doesn’t match up with their expectations, it leads to burnout—they leave no room for error or failure at all in their formula.” [...] Yet ask Cass why his clients are burning out, and his answer isn’t any different for a banker than it would be for a public-school teacher; there’s a gulf between what they expected from their jobs and what they got. “I can’t tell you,” he says, “how many people come into my office and ask, ‘How come I have this money and I can’t find happiness?’ ” So what does he tell them? “That happiness equals reality divided by expectations.”
-- Jennifer Senior, "Can’t Get No Satisfaction",
https://nymag.com/news/features/24757/
_”You are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. You are here to create yourself, continuously.”_ — Richard Feynman
You don’t have to get a job directly related to NLP after you complete your degree. You’re not locked into any path. The world is a big place, with many opportunities. Take things one step at a time. Finish the degree, and then figure things out.
Consulting a psychiatrist seems like a great move!
It kind of seems like you're missing a philosophical framework. I'm not sure what framework would appeal to you, but finding one that makes sense could help you understand what would give your life meaning.
People can derive satisfaction from all kinds of jobs (but not necessarily any job) with the right mindset and perspective. Understanding your own motivations will also help you work towards a social life that you find rewarding.