💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › replies › 10081 captured on 2024-12-17 at 18:52:13. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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If I enter a space, ideally I become at least a bit of a regular. But then the pressure of maintaining that begins to weigh.
Brother, you're in good company. I was excited to start posting here, but as I said in my own introduction (post #2359), I treat hobbies less in the "build a slow but long-lasting, loving relationship" kind of way but more in the "violently bludgeon in a dark alley" kind of way. I think the benefit of the smolweb is how it is designed so to be specifically not-addictive. I mean hell, I can't even format italics for emphasis!
I have changed so much ... Everything about me is the same.
Isn't it crazy, the gentle progression of time? I'm reminded of the song "Every Day Is Exactly the Same" from Nine Inch Nails. The endless slog of change that never really seems that different until you cast your memory far enough. Maybe we just get so used to the change that it begins to feel like stagnation; I'm not sure that even makes sense. I can look back at who I was at the beginning of 2024 and cringe at myself, and I think it's a beautiful thing that we can adapt so well to the rocking boat of our lives.
Your reunion with your friend reminds me of my best friend. His wife of ten years, best friend and partner from high school, cheated on him with a man he hated for over a year, lied about it, gaslit him, and they had a major detonation a few months ago. I really worried about him, but you look at him today and he's in such a great place. He's independent, he's more confident, his mental health is better off than a year ago. And he has a great relationship with his ex-wife! They're still friends, they work together, all copacetic.
For whatever it may be worth, I welcome you to the Midnight with a raised glass. I'm looking forward to reading more from you in the future.
Cheers, friend. I appreciate your response. I think I've reached a place in my life where I've learned to kind of let go of that "cringe" feeling when I think about my past self--I was the best I knew how to be with the knowledge and skill I had at the time. If anything, feeling cringe looking backward should feel like pride in the present, shouldn't it? Something about how far you've come since that point in time. In any case, I checked out your introduction post, and I'm with you in the "not really into programming and coding but I'm here anyway" boat. Still figuring a lot of practical things out about gemini and smolweb in general, but I appreciate the hell out of the philosophy behind it!
I live near a nature preserve that does controlled burns every year because it stimulates new growth and clears away overgrowth. I don't think it's true for most people in most awful situations, but sometimes I think about how destructive forces can really make room for growth you'd not have seen otherwise. We are not the overgrowing weeds, we are the pines at risk of being choked out. Glad your friend is doing so well, that's one hell of a curve ball.