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One trait of my character I am trying (and failing badly) to improve is that I can't let go of things and I can't leave them. It's like having something weird in one tooth and your tongue keeps touching it. This is really awkward if I am interacting with someone who needs space when something happens (that space and the silence are torture to me and it's hard to wait). Or if someone says something at work which is not an accurate interpretation of what happened, I have to speak up, even if correcting things is completely inconsequential. I know speaking up is useful, but sometimes letting go is also good and I just... can't.
2 weeks ago · 👍 bavarianbarbarian, hailey
wishing you the best of success on your journey. prop’s for doing the hard work! · 2 weeks ago
@danrl thank you for the recommendations. I do love me some stoicism! I also find it very helpful, and I especially enjoy reading Marcus Aurelius notes to himself. it's fascinating how someone so far from me (in time, but also in culture) could be so relatable.
I think my anxiety is improving a bit, but I still struggle with my "lizard brain" taking over at times, and entering fight or flight before I can do anything about it and calm myself down. I am working on it though. It's also quite obvious that I need to do some work recognising when my behaviours and thoughts are born out of anxiety rather than "normal". · 2 weeks ago
@melyanna forget it, i think i should wear my glasses &) old man is old.... · 2 weeks ago
i vaguely remember a app called “daylight” which was developed by therapists and scientists that had some great in-the-moment exercises for dealing with anxiety. one of the exercises, the astronaut, i still remember as being very useful.
there is also the stoic virtue of acceptance. as an aspiring stoic i can highly recommend working on acceptance intellectually so that it comes more naturally in the moment when needed. stoicism has been extremely helpful to me in navigating modern work and private life.
all the best! · 2 weeks ago
@bavarianbarbarian I am happy to clarify anything. I am also not a native speaker so I am sure that there are better ways to express in English what I actually want to say. What part or word was confusing?
I wish I wasn't so anxious because in certain situations it makes me and others uncomfortable. If we disagreed on something and you said "I need to be alone with my thoughts for a bit to process my feelings" but I felt like we didn't talk about things enough, I would find it very difficult to let you have your moment of silence, because I would want to settle the disagreement. I would just feel anxious about the argument all the time. · 2 weeks ago
@m0xee when I first talked to my therapist, she said I talk about my anxiety like it's normal, but from what I say it's actually quite severe. I have normalised it and internalised it for so long that I don't have any idea of what a normal threshold is anymore. So you are not wrong. And perhaps I should say I wish I wasn't so anxious. And your comment wasn't rude at all, it is actually quite helpful. :) · 2 weeks ago
Diagnosing people over the Internet is pretty pointless (and on top of that it's pretty rude, sorry for that), but to me it looks like some sort of anxiety rather than a character trait. I mean you can probably learn to smooth it out for the others, but the incentive to do this might be something beyond your control.
I think I used to be like that, I also used to think I had ADHD, but as I grew older, it became less, IDK… compulsive. It might still require a little effort, but noways, even I have something to add, I know that it might take time for people to process things and I just allow them to keep their own pace. · 2 weeks ago
could you please explein this for me? i am not a native speaker, i never heard of this term before. · 2 weeks ago