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'''' - gemini edition
`Richard sits at the head of the table. "Alright, Boys, hold hands now." Mom sits across from him, grabs both their hands, and bows her head. Daniel can't seem to keep still, anticipating his dinner. He makes every attempt to pretend there are no ants in his pants. Benjamin knows the drill and complies. Richard smiles and takes a breath. With a deep, soothing voice, he begins the prayer. "Dear Lord, we gather here as a family, grateful for this meal and the love we share. Bless this food, our home, and our hearts. May we always cherish these moments together. Amen." They all open their eyes, smile and enjoy their pasta.`
I sit on the roof at my work building. This is my favorite place at work.
Sun breeze, vibrant blue, green, and white colors of the sky.
I develop software for a moderate corporation. An unexpected career but I excel at it for some reason.
Maybe it is the hyper-focus. No office drama, gossip, or stress. Complex problems are solved with simple solutions when I remove all the unnecessary details. Solving puzzles and finding solutions soothes me.
I think back at the past and hope for a better future. It will take time to undo all the wrongs, but I have already started.
Mom is happier now that Dad is gone. I invite my brother to coffee once a week.
Learns more signs every time we meet. We've finally connected.
Tells me about his new job. A promotion might be coming up. I'm proud. He knows.
Punches have turned into hugs and handshakes. Respect. Admiration.
I don't see myself as disabled. This is power.
I can now block out all self-inflicted distracting noise from everyday life and experience true happiness.
I finished work early today. The soundtrack of cicadas buzz during my walk.
Need to pick up groceries. Mom is making spaghetti. She is a good cook.
"I feel good today." I find myself saying this more and more every week. Smile. Bags on the counter and kiss Mom.
Teardrop. I don't mind.
"I'm sorry Mom." Hug. Her hair smells of childhood summer days.
We don't talk about Dad anymore. I take off my uniform and help help with the groceries.
"Ray might stop by later". He's been clean for two months. Got him a job with me.
I know I could be someone one day. I feel like someone. Myself. I like it.
"I'm looking forward to Saturday. Gonna have coffee with my brother." A new favorite thing. Maybe we can still be good friends after all.
"Steve. I have tried. I don't have the money. The boy's hospital bill. You understand, right? The young one is not efficient. He is not cut out for this."
Hot. Sweaty. Empty stare. Patience is exhausted.
Emotionless.
"Steve? Don't do this. I have served you for decades. You have to have my back." I was supposed to become you. This is not how its supposed to end.
Tears. Regret. Memento mori. Insignificant. Worthless.
I see the barrel and hear the hammer click.
I became this. I know it now. I see it.
My sons. Warranted. Befitting.
"Do it, Steve. Just leave my family be." Eyes closed. Darkness. Painless. Peace.
Not a thought or tear has gone Richard's way. Only smiles and laughter. Dani is home early with groceries. He helps me with cooking.
"The secret ingredient is love." Chuckle. With a proper job, he becomes a proper man.
The sense of relief and freedom is almost overpowering. I take it one day at a time.
My face hurts from smiling all the time.
Outside, tree leaves rustles in the breeze. Warm summer sun floods in from the windows. I can smell it.
`The boys lay in the same bed. In the window, clear night sky and a full moon. Mom kisses their foreheads. "Good night. I love you". "Good night, Mommy," they reply in unison. As she walks out, Richard enters their room. His silhouette almost covers the hallway light coming into the room. The tall figure approaches and both wiggle and giggle underneath their blankets. He kisses Benjamin's forehead. "Goodnight, my little champ. Dream big, my boy. Remember, you can conquer anything you set your mind to. I love you more than words can express.". Daniel hides his face under the covers. Richard unveils and kisses his cheek as he pretends to be asleep already. "Time to rest, buddy. You've had quite an adventurous day. Don't worry about a thing; I'm here for you. Goodnight, my strong and brave son. Sleep tight." He stands and slowly closes the door as he steps into the hallway. The room falls silent.`
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