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convincing my coworkers to vote me out of the office survivor style
just remembered my dream last night was that i fell asleep at my job. let's make it real people!!!
took the day off yesterday (first time in a while) and god it was nice. i take too many days off but sometimes ya just gotta take the day off
basically done with my christmas item gathering which i feel good about. excited for the weekend, it's gonna be chill but also fun
bout to get a tattoo in a crazy building downtown
final glow night i have to work god willing
after giving it a lot of thought, i have decided that i'm going to start buying eggs from local missouri farms. i think this will
(1) help me eat less peanut butter sandwiches
(2) help me cook more which i think i finally am in the mental space to do
(3) give me protein
i have only ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches in the last like 3 weeks and i think it is having a general positive affect on my well being as opposed to basically every day :P
fun show last night :) now that thatâs out of the way i can finally actually start processing my breakup. ok here we go. im gonna do it. here we go. im gonna do it
^^^this was half a joke but then it turned real it hit me like a ton o bricks today
i kicked ass on ddr last night
gonna vote one of my coworkers out of the office survivor style today
tomorrow im going to see my friends finally and also im going to have 99 farming in runescape. the beautiful coalescence of the two halves of my being
there is probably SO MUCH literature about this that i don't know about but truly it is fascinating how you can write down two lines, one line sounds better read out loud and the other sounds better read on the page. cool
also... i think that in text form, it is better to have many short poems. but out loud, at least for me, i would rather read a big long poem
also... if u are in stl come to chill dawg cove on friday and let me read poems at you!!!!
one more self indulgent poetry note... i think the real secret to all my poems is that they are best read in the voice of andy rooney
this will be my 5th day of not seeing anyone outside of work i feel absolutely crazy
i think im finally feeling 99% better besides some stuffiness in me nose. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
im so bored
i started reading a #book again last night because it's time. it's time to devote myself to self-study and gain medium-to-low enlightenment that will last for ~4 months. it's time to become learned. it's 2666 again maybe i'll finish it this time.
also i'm excited for my appointment in january to have my stye looked at because i've let myself have this stye for too damn long. i must do self care!!!
definitely entering the post-sickness positivity mania phase. i feel powerful
date of birth is probably the greatest band in earth. i just listened to the planet dob album which i thought i wasnt even that big a fan of and i was like holy shit this rocks
recovering from my illness at the local convalescent home (my job)
thinking a lot about martha stewart again. this isn't useful, i already did this
still have a cold and it still sucks ass, but i think im getting better. it's so pretty outside
at least im sick now and not on halloween and new years like i was last year
yes i have been unable to do anything productive on this my beloved four day weekend but now my smithing level is 85 in runescape so there
i have a cold and it sucks ass
i have a cold and it sucks ass, BUT i have been enjoying walking my dog in the snow. very winter, very holiday season
my family compared me to david foster wallace should i be annoyed or pleased
third glow night. this is it folks
floundering from garden glow night 2. second out of three nights i have to work in a row
busier this night. sometimes the elderly fascinate me. i wonder if i'll be that way............
i think i've milked just about every stray thought that i could turn into a poem this month. i'm reaching the point where i need to wait and gather ideas again. which is annoying because i want to write new poems.
these are the things i like to do to write poems
1- experience the world
pros: good for you, usually awesome, many benefits outside of writing poems
cons: takes time
2- experience extreme emotion
pros: very motivating, results in emotionally charged poetry
cons: usually bad for your mental health, unless the extreme emotion is happiness
3- sit and try to think of ideas
usually has to happen at some point, and i think the trick is to have two ideas concurrently...
pros: you can come up with some pretty fun stuff if you just sit there and think (or walk your dog and think)
cons: one of the harder ways to write a poem
4- read other poetry
depending on the poetry, this can be heartwarming and inspiring, or extremely aggravating. not to be this guy, but if you're looking to be aggravated (for spite motivation/chip on the shoulder motivation), google "best poems of [last year]"
pros: good to solidify your idea of what poems can even be, sometimes highly gratifying, or can motivate you to write good poems out of sheer spite
cons: can be extremely depressing if you get into the academic poetry sphere poems
this week i have done all four of these but i think i'm a little too numb to fully capture the powers of writing. i think in three months i will become powerful (for a little bit)
floundering from garden glow. w*lls f*rgo night. i love the holiday season (???)
i do not love the holiday season. this is killing me. well i guess even if i do love the holiday season it's still killing me
dream: my dad was directing a nickelodeon original tv film that had been stuck in development hell since the 90s. he was hosting a screening of the rough cut to try and get ideas. i was trying to convince him to give up and go outside and read newspaper comics. the movie was about a bicycle i think
finished dragon ball. definitely one of the best and most distilled version of "actually i have an invincible forcefield" ever written
feelin pretty good today. had a great nite at my friends bday last night
i think i could be a dragon ball character. i have the right face for it. if i didnt have to work i could train pretty hard. i could channel my ki and shit
dragon ball will get me through this breakup
broke up with X last night. it was really hard to do but i think it was the right decision for both of us. we're at different points in our life and there was no route forward for both of us while we were in the relationship
determined to be friends in the future once i take some space, they are still a really special person to me :)
i have to give a training at work today and my boss is going to be there and i have to mentally prepare myself for the fact that she's going to take over and do the whole thing as always lol
she has consumed our staff meetings to the point where even HER boss doesn't get to talk so i truly have no chance :P
just made the shortlist for the man booker prize for a .txt file containing seven unreleased poems and some paragraphs of random gibberish
working the phone line (rare these days) at mobot and if i were religious this would make me fear hell more because this has to have some semblance to what it's like
enjoying reading the hidden gem dragon ball. surprised no one talks about this story itâs pretty fun
i have to work overtime on sunday and im already peeved about it
have to work out tonight
we have spent too much time praising "jazz hands" and neglecting "jazz hand"
floundering from late night working... it's the holiday season baybee
my seasonal depression has morphed into a lovely solemn ennui that i can handle and even carry with pride..... FOR NOW!
btw i did clean my house that night vvv ......... PRODUCTIVE
i have to clean my house tonight
i have been reading the dragon ball manga
so sleepy
weekend please come! weekend please come! weekend please come!
la lu la lu la lu la lu la lu bababbabababababababa A
in 2008 the democratic party figured out that you could pretend to have progressive stances to get elected and then do nothing. somehow they forgot even this in the following years and have made the election campaign itself about doing nothing. amazingly, this does not work
somber day at the nonprofit office. someone is crying but im too respectful to go see who :'(
damn, shoulda told my 700,000 friends to vote for kamala in missouri... coulda turned it blue!!
i can't believe all those republican voters kamala was courting ended up voting for the republican candidate instead. shocking!
sometimes i really connect into the love and gratitude i have for my life and living and itâs really nice
the lockpicking lawyer on youtube is interesting to me because like, i get it, i enjoy watching him pick the locks, it's cool, but it's also really funny to me that he's always like "this lock has a serious design flaw. you see, if you are the world's actual greatest lockpicker and you've done a month of research into this particular lock, it's super easy to pick. i hope this company tries harder next time."
awesome that the only thing global warming can't destroy is my seasonal depression
i feel like suddenly i have a better understanding of what atoms are. watch out world
i like that because we barely know anything about space, watching pbs spacetime feels like watching someone shout conspiracy theories at you
debriefing on weekend now that i have returned to normal world again (took 1.5 days)
thursday took the train with X to chicago. Xâs friend R and two of Râs friends were taking the same train. we got to sit at one of the tables and play games. at first i was shy but it ended up being very fun. R is cool and their personality is contagious. felt like i was imitating them the rest of the weekend lol
met bugleague that night, accidentally ate a bite of meat for the first time since going vegan because we couldnt figure out which burger was the vegan burger. watched movie called starman which was pretty bad but funny starring jeff bridges talking like a caveman
friday woke up late, got breakfast with X and bugleague, met R and friends at the contemprary art museum which is cool cuz the admission is a suggested donation and we only paid 3 bucks each to get in. did a lot of walking in the city this day, lots of fun. saw the reverse side of a sunset at the beach, tried to drink enough coffee to stay up late for the being dead show. got drinks at one of bugleagueâs fave bars, talked about how we all fare in different social situations
walked to the being dead show. opener i forget the name was pretty good. villagerrr was good, great âtoneâ, a little slow for me, also 3 guitar boys is pushing it. being dead was just as good as i was imagining, they were humble and funny and cool. they got locked out of the building and couldnt get back in for a bit to do the encore but we all kept cheering so eventually they did and it was great. told one of them âgreat jobâ after the show. first show i truly fanboyed at since i dont even know.
walked for a long time after to find super late nite food, got to bed around 3am. saturday we went right to the train to come to st louis. tired and bored on the train, too tired to even keep busy. zoning out for five hours. picked up beck and napped while X went home to work on her costume. went to Hâs halloween party as strawberry shortcake. x won most original costume (she was a computer). played four square, had fun.
sunday X made me eggs and potatoes which were really good it was awesome. watched sex and the city, napped, went to the zine release. lots of fun and lots of good poetry. finally released from the weekend i collapsed in my home. powerful dayz.
great weekend
selling my steam deck, itâs cool but not as useful when you only play games released from 1998 to 2008 and you have a nintendo ds lite
has anyone else read that 2020 death note extra chapter where a guy sells the death note to donald trump? i think it's cute clever and good and im not even really a fan of the original death note
childhood gamer idi mario fangame alert: just watched a letâs play of a fangame where someone remade/remixed one of my old mario levels. it was so cute :3
halloween costume finished. low effort but i think itâs a look
excited to see bugleague in chicago this weekend !!! and then come back for halloween party and zine release. could b a cool weekendâŚâŚ
i think theres a solid chance iâll move to chicago ~4 years from now
house tasks for the coming weeks:
put up my curtain rods
organize computer room
organize basement
if i do these three things my house will basically be in its final form
i would like to thank meggplant for teaching me about ;-; which i use constantly now
couldnt tell you why but i have felt super good the last two weeks
my mom is sending me an unsustainable amount of instagram reels
too damn sleepy for work. i dont care about work!!!!!
it seriously takes up too much of my Freakin time
like, i am always here. why am i always here
if someone brings donuts to work im not just going to not eat them. that would be the opposite of living a joyful life. but there's so many donuts......
cathy vibes
apparently the worlds chat servers are down. end of an era :'(
in a #goodmood
gonna try to cut out juice again :P
awesome weekend with zine art show, four square, jazz at the kerr, pumpkin carving, lunch paid for by my aunt, found some new pants, art fundraiser, hanging out with X. ideal weekend tbh
tomorrow i will have worked at this job for 3 years. by far longest time working at one job
caught up on my reread of world trigger. i really do think it's the war and peace of our time (flaws of war and peace included). it moves at a glacial pace that makes it very powerful. has some flaws but moves past them. super comfortable in itself and the away mission test is one of the most uniquely written story arcs in modern time
eating breakfast will turn you into a good boy who loves work
i feel so much better now
still feeling a little crazy after working the weekend. took today off trying to recenter myself. i'm good at recentering myself but i forget it takes time. was pretty damb anxious yesterday. can't believe i used to do what i did on the weekend full time lol
my boss's work-life balance freaks me out. she basically works an event every night and worked all weekend and is going to work an overnight event next weekend (like an old rich lady lock-in...) WHILE keeping her 9-5 hours also... i guess it's better than having a lazy boss but i'm starting to feel bad for her!!
working with the public has a profoundly negative effect on my mental well-being
one thing about working an 11 hour day is that you then feel really grateful when youâre not working an 11 hour day like #now
working an 11 hour day sucks even if you only do it 6 times a year
i have magnet powers now
world trigger is so good because the latest chapter consists entirely of a philosophical monologue about how growth is achieved and the cliffhanger is the guy giving the monologue saying "okay but let me explain this more... in the next chapter"
sunrise mri hangin with the old folks at the south county center for advanced medicine
x did my chart recently and in the erotic section of the book it said pisces erogenous zone is the feet. this unfortunately is not true. i am far from being a feet guy. whyd they make one of the signs the feet guy. they should have left the feet out of astrology
no judgment to feet lovers
yall i was so wrong about the ddr thing. my knee is so bad rn. mri on thursday!
thomas pyn-chan (â ďšâ âż)
wow i love X (girlfriend not platform formerly known as twitter)
new being dead album rocks....... shocker
bad "beck getting hurt" nightmare last night
managed to swerve around being completely broke while going 1000 miles per hour
really enjoyed band practice last night it gives me energy
CAN a human win solitaire 4 times in a row while refusing to use logic or think about the moves at all...............lets find out
trying to figure out who in their right mind would go to my job's staff picnic. if it was during work hours maybe. if the food wasn't awful maybe. otherwise, i have a life???????????
re-reading world trigger. a manga i really like, despite 1 or 2 glaring flaws. i think the way it tells its story is very interesting -- super methodical, patient while still action packed, determined to take its time and reveal its hand incredibly slowly. it's like... the action version of dry humor. dry action.
ddr update: itâs definitely doable, as long as i take it easy. iâd say my skills are about 80% of what they were before my ~4 month break. going to stay out of the hard songs and work on my form + posture. mri me now!!!!!
september is going by incredibly quickly
been in a bit of a daze the last two/three weeks, but it hasn't been the worst daze. i think it's to do with allergies... still been havin fun tho
i think im going to do ddr tonite even with my knee. i miss it and i think if i keep it light it wont affect anything
sposed to get an mri soon so thats fun
long distance relationship with my wife. visiting her sucks.
mouse mummies found in mars-like conditions on andes mountain
best title on r/relationships in a while
working should be banned from earth
when we were in high school my high school best friend made a bunch of ambient tracks and uploaded them to soundcloud and they rock i forgot about them till right now
(because i used one in a released beta version of an unreleased mario fangame level i made and someone in the MARIO FAN GAME COMMUNITY just messaged me to ask where it was from)
(i can't believe i ever wanted to write the great american novel when i had already achieved such success in the mario fan game community)
im so bored..............
..............................at work!
wisdom vs knowledge... who would win in the bloodiest confrontation this side of the mississip
been procrastinating getting my headlight fixed for 3 years and valvoline just did it for 25 bucks while i was getting my oil changed. wow
i am really enjoying listening to a fire upon the deep on audiobook. the narrator is one of the best ive ever listened to, has a very fun voice. if you like existential scifi and dogs check it out
godding out again (black tea)
this has truly been a week for feeling insanely good from 10:15 to 11:30 am
part 9 of jojo has been coming out for a year and a half now and i like it a lot
just made and ordered the worlds stupidest custom t shirt it's not even funny it's just an image i can't get out of my head
now that i wrote that work schedule out i realize it's so accurate lol. black tea drinking god rn
looking back on the last year and a half i think it is a miracle how high functioning i have been. good job rowen
the daily work idi blasks:
9:00am drag myself to work barely on time
10:00am high on black tea, feel like a god, read flounder
11:00am do work
11:30am bored, go home and nap
2:00pm come back to work, do work
3:00pm take anxiety meds, they make me sleepy
3:30pm too sleepy to work
4:00pm leave early
awesome
new phrases i like:
"in my ___ era"
"___ coded"
not as much a fan of:
"it's giving ___"
ever since the middle of college i have learned that (1) i actually love to exercise and (2) unfortunately, i actually am an extremely fragile creature whose body will just explode randomly if i exercise enough
beginning my âwar on my styesâ era
mean take but i think kazuo ishiguro is one of the lamest authors alive
slowly returning to consciousness after killer weekend from hell... reporting to flounder that in a fit of productivity last week i did in fact paint my bathroom while preparing for hell weekend and it was super exhausting but felt good to bundle that all up and have it done with
things are going good with X and we're going to try to play tennis this weekend, which i'm excited about
dragging myself through the rest of work this week so i get paid hella overtime...
read at a poetry event last night and it was fun but it was also pretty normie lit major vibes which i dont have much qualm with but it was giving me flashbacks to college and people didnt laugh very hard at my objectively hilarious poems...... always weird when you realize the world is large and people still care about having "bios", submitting to lit mags, making money from poetry, being a "featured reader", etc...... i was also really grumpy from working all weekend so that was probably most of it but i dunno folks... maybe this chip-on-their-shoulder city boy DOESN'T need to go back to grad school.......
...........but what if it's my job to fix academia from the inside out...?
painted my bedroom a yellow-orange and at first i was worried it was too much but now i think it's super awesome. i am also going to paint my bathroom
i think my problem with money is that i want to have my cake and eat it too, also i want another cake and eat that one, another cake too, and another cake
called off work today which i feel bad about but also i dont care cuz work kinda sucks
been sleeping and working on music
i wonder if i should actually get a different job, the problem is i have so little responsibility in this one and that's cool and all but it's starting to annoy me. like what am i even doing there. of course this upcoming festival weekend im going to be working really hard but besides those three times a year it's just day after day of being bored as all hell
my car battery died UGH
im replacing it with the world's cheapest car battery so hope that goes well
update it wasn't the battery and i had to pay a bajillion dollars but it's fixed
@starjump i was actually thinking if anyone on flounder had heard of orange lounge it would be you haha
orange lounge is the original fievel is glauque
@mothbaby
in an insane mood, i think because i haven't exercised in like a week and a half
going to see the new alien movie tonight
update i went home and worked out and i feel awesome
just watched the avengers to see what it's like to watch the avengers in 2024. unfortunately it is a bad movie. i was hoping it would be a good movie, this was not the case. the tone is inscrutable, the characters aren't even that good at quipping, the music is all over the place, the pacing is freaking weird..... time really does march on
feeling nostalgic today for the days when all my artistic energy was focused on making levels for mario fangames............
@mothbaby im so bored at work i've been willingly taking on tasks like an insane person.....
in my mind the events of the three body problem trilogy happened in real life but in the future
guys, iâll say it. iâm mad at the minecraft corporation. i havent been able to get on the minecraft ârealmâ ive been playing on for three days. so im mad at microsoft company
nvm i got in
professor layton vs phoenix wright is shocking me in many ways but i think the most shocking is realizing it was made in that nintendo 3ds era where they were still designing the games around the fact that you could view them in 3dâŚ. 3d puzzles, 3d character models, little environmental perspective shifts⌠truly taking me back to 2014
the fact that the game exists at all is insane. like if house md and doctor who had a crossover season
had a wild and sad week with X but i think we are back on track now. i think we both held the relationship in such high esteem that we weren't communicating when we had problems (classic) or when we felt insecure. moving forward with that in mind and taking it one step at a time! feels good that we were able to talk about it and figure it out because i really value them!
in other news i am 75 pages away from being halfway done with 2666
ok heres my idea for a video game. basically you can going anywhere and do anything. open world. you can be whoever you want to be. there are no limits and the game includes everything. could probably be done on a pretty small budget and take 1-2 years to make. the game would preferably cater to my needs exactly. if it doesn't, i should least be able to imagine it will until it is actually released
very good trip to chicago :3
getting caught up in politics news because of the election after ignoring it for years and my god that kristi noem dog story is insane
wow, what a beautiful night for zines
help i watched one political video on youtube and my algorithm is fucked
kirksville baybeeeeeeee
yall my job is so boring it's not even funny
softly, steadily, and in my own way, i still carry out the duties of the english major.
jonathan blow is personally the 2nd most annoying person on earth to me (1 being the classic elon musk)
probably because the witness is a good game and he's a dumb idiot
braid is and has always been shit tho
minecraft
feeling very balanced and good this week
excited to go to kirksville this weekend !!!
excellent song from the NINETIES
https://youtu.be/e5sm-LcQhCo?si=WNg6CEX0WapfrneV
y'all i swear i'm leftist af but i'm going to vote for kamala harris
(not that it matters in missouri)
just found out about these "nft" things. a computer picture you can buy? who /wouldn't/?
feeling weirdly optimistic about my parents. it's the parents renaissance
having a cute little contemplative night
august goals:
make ____
write a song
paint my bedroom
write 3 new good poems
one of those days where i need people to laugh more at my jokes at work. cmon people
crazy that my dad's in town AGAIN i think im managing my stress levels well this time tho. weird when someone wants to spend so much time with you but then doesnt seem to actually care about what is going on in your life at all
look im no car guy i would venture to say i am vehemently anti car in fact i hate cars but i saw a really cute car the other day but all i was able to see was that it was a toyota i have no information and im trying to find it online and i'm probably never going to figure out what car it was... mystery of life
i kinda feel really dumb for not going to the doctor before. i could've started on fixing this so much earlier... ack. so it goes tho, now i am on the path......
just webt to the freaking doctor and found out my leg might be teared but i have to do physical therapy again first before theyâll mri me but hey at least im making progress
as of yesterday, i have determined the artstyle of my new zine. now i feel like i need to write about 3 good new poems and iâll be on my way
professor layton is a chill ass guy
this is the sound of inside my head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocCP4JTq9JM
going to the freaking doctor tomorrow which i hate doing but i hafta do it
my updated ace attorney game ranking/tier list
--amazing--
1. Ace Attorney 1
2. Dual Destinies
3. Trials and Tribulations
4. Apollo Justice
5. Ace Attorney Investigations 2
--mid--
6. Justice For All
7. The Great Ace Attorney
8. Spirit of Justice
--pretty bad--
9. Ace Attorney Investigations 1
we fallin out of the coconut tree boyz
sleepy
i dont want to work i want to go home and play ace attorney and watch NGE with X......
folks here's my big plan:
after finishing ace attorney investigations 2 i will play the first 3 professor layton games. then i will play phoenix wright vs layton, thus playing every ace attorney game ever made. await my tier list.
in the meantime, i will read 2666 because i am a cultured artistic hero who reads big books, english major genius
meantime also i will rewatch NGE with X because i am a fucking nerd
also can we talk about X ... it's so cute that she uses moomin 90s anime episodes to go to sleep after i showed it to her.....
we had a good talk last night about our lives, current and past struggles. i like her lots!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unXzA_v2AtY
cute album for bored at work vibes
thinking about how funny it was that they made nic cage divorced at the start of national treasure 2
having a very busy but nice week
talked to my dad last night and it is one of the weirdest things i do. he used to ask me how i was doing. now he launches right into his spiel about the 5 things that are always on his mind. i wish there was something i could do to help the man. the problem with being his therapist is that we have no actual relationship
short list of the books i think about the most:
the savage detectives
the dispossessed
roadside picnic
rendezvous with rama
making another spirited attempt at 2666
just realized i own the same logitech controller that they used on the imploded titanic sub
both the pieces of media i'm consuming rn (the name of the rose and ace attorney investigations 2) are wildly different in scope, medium, and tone, yet they are both about protagonists who were prosecutorial in the past and are coming to terms with the fact that the world of justice is more nuanced than finding "criminals" guilty.
fascinating
song of the day courtesy of X
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A8T5LK5h2Y
a real deal "tgif" friday......
happy to see my 2023 zine âMartha Stewartâ on the nyt best 100 books of the 21st century list
they put bolano and bechdel on there so thats nice but safe
i forgot how to read when i graduated so i cant critique too much
although if youâre putting fun home on there you might as well put goodbye eri on there tooâŚ
we need a flounder best 100 booksâŚ
scared of watching so much defunctland i start to care about disney
listening to jamiroquai dont @ me
bugleague im assuming yr on the train hope yr having a good trip!!!
i love language and how it evolves
i love how if i become wiggly my dog knows thatâs a âfunâ emotion and he gets excited
i think im the least addicted (overall) ive been in years
there is an alternate universe where they made a house md ripoff of ace attorney and it slapped
falling asleep at work again
X and i watched an episode of so you think you can dance on youtube the other day and the uploader switched out the songs with royalty free youtube tracks and it was awesome
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhwmLLSPAig
current stuck-in-my-head song
personally i think it's fucked they took down the 3ds storefront
i will be voting for hunter biden's laptop in the upcoming election
mr beast is younger than me wtf
so sleepy this week. falling asleep at work
since getting off spotify, i have had to work harder to find good music. youtube music's algorithm is bad. but this is not a bad thing. i think this is an important Job for me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn-njpBoVEE
good song
found my next audiobook
i think it's so funny that the jojo online community thinks part 7 will be hard to animate because "horses are difficult to animate". like what does that even mean, you can study horses and animate them. there are existing animation properties with horses. it's the funniest rumor
bored at work i have tasks but they're all so small it doesn't feel important to do them........
cool to have the day off tomorrow
my friends are cool i played a cool board game last night
i want to see my out of town friends :'(
i need to find a good audiobook. i have audiobook choice paralysis. hard to choose a book that u then have to commit to for like 20 hours
media consumption is cool guys. still thinking about how awesome run lola run was and i love ace attorney
ace attorney is so cool
folks youve heard the term âepic awesomesauceâ but nothing is more âepic awesomesauceâ than the fact that X is back in town and we get to hang out
also we watched run lola run and that movie effing fucking rules
recently been emotional rollercoastering BUT i have accomplished many of my #plans. if i can get my knee healed i will be the most powerful person on earth
playing void stranger because people on the internet told me to
also playing ace attorney 6 at the same time but it's not gripping me as much as 4. if i had to rank the games in the series ive played it would go:
Ace Attorney 1
Dual Destinies
Trials and Tribulations
Apollo Justice
Justice For All
The Great Ace Attorney
i played the first ace attorney investigations game but i was like 13 so i dont remember it
global warming so bad we're doin' the water bucket challenge
https://www.nytimes.com/puzzles/leaderboards/invite/009285e6-e20d-4f2e-b00e-b699d10dacdc
join my nyt mini leaderboard............ inspired by meggplant
drank 2 beers last night but i dont feel shitty this morning. woohoo!!
ace attorney is cool
chainsaw man continues to be one of the most wildly written things this century
i only keep up with one piece and chainsaw man manga-wise these aged days but i have such a soft spot for serialized media. becoming less common in The Freakin' Info Age, amirite. more people need to be writing their stories by the seat of their pants, like fuckin dickens
had the laziest weekend of all time in contrast to super productive weekend of last time
played thru ace attorney 4 and enjoyed it! i think i will play 6 now, after which i will have played all the main games
having lots of thoughts about my relationship to Society At Large, but none clear enough to type out via text. one of those things where i'm unsure if i should try to "force" clarity by thinking really hard, or just let emotions flow all over each other until something clicks. either way, i'm trying to remain positive and spiritually healthy about it. something i wouldn't mind talking to a therapist about, honestly, though it's definitely not urgent or super negatively affecting my mental health
X gets back from 2 week vacation soon im excited
i had a dream about the talking mummy
excited to chill the f out this weekend
it's insane that work happens 5 times a week
"remastering" puker. decreasing all the font sizes. what was i thinking
realizing i probably have enough stuff for one more zine. i feel like recently i've entered another "phase shift"... so maybe i should get the rest out now for a clean slate
or maybe i wait until i've explored a little bit more and use the new art for the zine
top contenders for zine title:
1. rowen's ladder
2. las vegas (or like, 'las vegas, baby')
3. rowen conry's fuck maze
4. punk secret
5. rowen conry's google earth
im very much enjoying printing things. i love printer. thank you office job for giving me printer
theyre officially localizing ace attorney investigations 2 for the switchđ
there's a bomb surgically implanted inside me and if i sell my art for money it explodes
it's so effing hot out
got a lot done this last weekend. went to a really fun party, caught up with my brother, did a lot of work on cleaning my house, printed stuff... now i am super exhausted but that's okay
art update
i made 2 11x17 prints on the work printer, which was easy. my plan was to make 20 or so 5x7 prints to give away, but the work printer refused to gel with the 5x7 paper (kept jamming or not recognizing the paper right). so i'm going to reconfigure that and try to print two to a 8.5x11. i'm having fun with this, it's good motivation to make prints which i rarely do
on the "new artstyle" side, i had one idea that i want to try while at work the other day. once i finish up this printing and the sprite physical art printing, i'm going to give it a go.
i've also been deep cleaning my house this weekend, so i'm feeling quite productive, hooray
shout out to all my entertainer-heads out there
sleepy but still managing to do things
saw the circus last night is was soooo cool
i think y'all will really like this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxk9qwCFf8s
goals today and near future...
--finish ep art for sprite
--stretch/beat saber
--pick and frame art for gallery
âââ>do prints on a4 at work
--sell all my valuable magic cards
goals for the slightly farther future...
--keep practicing giovanna on guilty gear
--buy beck a pool
--new bedsheets
--new cooking pan
beat saber is not nearly as fun as ddr but for old rowen mckneeinjury it does the trick and it's funny cuz the music is like ddr music but 10-15 musictrend years in the future
more rowen-on-too-much-caffeine thoughts:
i think i need a "new" artstyle. getting tired of the old one. i feel like my "flat maximalism" of the last year or so has been the most fun style i've ever drawn in, but now i want to add, like, a sphere in there. i want to make art with a sphere. and maybe with color?
my favorite colors this last year were red, green, and blue. i really like those colors together so maybe i can find a way to convert my black and white maximalist art into tri-color? gonna think on this.
maybe i can do three separate color arts and overlap them digitally somehow. that could be cool
of course, for the moment zine covers, they're still in black and white, so i'll have the opportunity to do both
year 3 of seeing the once in a lifetime corpse flower bloom
in a much better place from last week. i have goals, im managing my spending better, my knee is hopefully healing. got through my two most dreaded work things. called in sick today cuz i earned it, chillin the fuck out. life is good
chainsaw man is so good
excited abt the new life is strange game cant help it im a life is strange head
i love eating corn
gonna start calling all my minute day to day goals my âdreamsâ
forgot to take my meds yesterday morning, made me feel crazy... generally just trying to take life by the day, feel like im grappling with fate, it's putting me in all these grappleholds and i have to slip out one hold after the other, not the most fun feeling
chainsaw man is probably the most insane piece of popular fiction being written right now
in a haze because of knee/weird work schedule/my spending habits. looking to #beatthehaze. looking to scramble the fog. looking for nature's revealing breeze. i believe in myself!!!!
been thinking about roadside picnic lately
my knee thing is acting up again and it sux
saw i saw the tv glow last night. have many thoughts abt it, i liked it but also had some qualms with it. cool that they referenced tux and fanny
something insane happened to me yesterday and it was terrible but also made me want to love the world even harder and also maybe brought me closer to my father
what is the best web search alternative to google. im tired of this ai shit on my #screen
talking to my dad is like witnessing time echo, the same conversations over and over, i wish it wasn't so hard :'(
learning fighting games might be the closest we'll get in our lifetimes to attempting to decipher the runes of an alien civilization
i think i'm getting close to bringing one of my Funniest Ideas into fruition.........
kinda crazy that the worst person in the top 3 of so you think you can dance won??????????????????
if wikipedia was the only information source to survive the apocalypse, people would think alexander mcqueen was the most famous person to ever live
also, i love hanging out with the cool and awesome X so much it's crazy
had a good talk with my friend last night who has a lot of the same problems i do with ocd. it was really nice!
been playing sonic adventure 2 itâs so good the amount of edgy sincerity is unmatched
gamestop stock going crazy cuz i bought five issues of gameinformer off ebay last week
spring fever in st louis mo. there are 8 shows every night and people are walking the streets. my dog is eating grass in my backyard, im drinking with my friends in the back patio of the bar, the weather makes me feel like i will never die. i am having the feeling that there's something big and philosophically interesting hidden right behind the world, and attempting to find it by playing sonic adventure 2 on my dreamcast. there are orbs in the sky that get bigger when you use a telescope, but when you use a microscope you see the smallest orbs of all.
my (spoilerish?) thoughts on death's end: for the first 3/4 of it, it was my favorite book of the trilogy. the ending soured it just a little for me: honestly i think went too far with the crazy technology. i think the whole trilogy was refreshingly "grounded" in possible science until the end got super cosmologically vast
i also got spoiled beforehand on what the "weapon" the singing alien uses on humanity was, so that was a little less powerful a moment than it could have been, but it was still so interesting
and i think the characters in this book were a rung above the last two. the two mains, cheng xin and AA, were great. AA is my favorite character in the series, i like how she's a doofus but she still gets to solve some of humanity's greatest problems, even if she does go trolley problem on humanity at one point (the false alarm scene)
there is so much discourse about cheng xin online, which i find fascinating. i truly think that, while the author does have some sexist notions on the nature of male vs female, he is not trying to show that emotions are worthless by having cheng xin, the embodiment of love for humanity, fuck up again and again. there's even people online saying she's weak and "couldn't get the job done" when the point is LITERALLY the opposite: she was strong enough to resist giving up our human kindness to "win the war", which would have made us into the same robotically evil "survival of the fittest" aliens that plague the universe. her "fucking up" was her deciding that as humans we need to take the hard path, the path of love. sometimes that didn't work out very well, but it was the thing worth doing, and the emotion worth saving. she was the protector of humankind's love. even wade knows that deep down, and that's why he keeps his promise (another frequent internet comment: wade shouldn't have kept his promise. literally insane). and i think that's also what makes trisolaris respect her and her bf.
in a way though, i do kinda like how much discourse this particular book has created (and for the record, i do understand the other side of the argument too and it has some merit). cixin liu has some really cool ideas about space. i really liked this series it was sooo my cup of tea
finished deathâs end. reading discourse online. feels like SUCH a classic internet men move to misread cheng xinâs character like half the internet is doing
dogs are the blessed creature
dogs are proof that love is real
dogs are proof that trust will save the universe
a very sweet zine meetup yesterday :3
i think this is one of the best jungle/dnb dj sets on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kufqq1v7XFo
this is probably old news but this is making me laugh really hard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy36R3vmE2A
the zadie smith thinkpiece discourse is electrocuting me back to my english major, a whirlpool of time
have half a mind to check out the 3 body problem show but i know i wont like it because the rhythm of "prestige television" makes me vomit my socks up
recovering from a bout of mental breakage :/
deathâs end is one of the craziest books ever written. genius level
too much work stuff, i have to go work the wildflower sale at our nature reserve tomorrow ugh. and i have a lame meeting today. stop it work
i started the deaths end audiobook last night even though i said i was going to wait
the ways that people treat art, the ways they experience it, comment on it, discuss it, are so interesting. i want to think more about this
just finished the dark forest. again, the writing is kind of terrible and the characters are wooden as hell but the ideas in the book are so well done. not often do i read books just for the concepts but i really do think they are worth it. the one pro to the way it's written, i think, is that it works as a very methodical slow burn narrative that gets more and more horrific, to the point where towards the end you're just like "oh god" every twenty minutes.
going to read the third one but i might try and wait a bit so i don't get burnt out. this book was like twice as long as the first one
--
^^glad the people of reddit are with me
the dark forest lagging in the second half. go back to the imaginary girlfriend
the john cage anti-protest professor guy makes me go red evil mode. glad big joel made a video on him so i can seethe
felt guilty calling in sick to work today because of tired but it actually was good cuz im so back
real fucked up what happened at wash u
i cannot believe this book about a guy talking to his imaginary girlfriend is the sequel to the three body problem. im still invested though
tabling for the garden at bayer today X_X
is portal finally old enough that it's a cool obsession. can i dress as chell for halloween
the dark forest is an insane book
caught up with one piece. i think one piece is probably the most well-written comic, has many flaws but the characters are extremely well-realized.
the three body problem was about science and an alien-loving death cult. the dark forest, its sequel, appears to be about a man talking to his imaginary girlfriend and hanging out with her. i support this
but also, one of the dark forest's themes so far is that great literature is created when you are basically able to "hallucinate" a character into real existence. and that made me think of one piece, because you know eiichiro oda can "see" luffy. im entranced by the fact that oda started writing one piece basically as his first "work" when he was 22 and has continued to write it for over 25 years... i would get tired of the same characters running around in my head for that long
in order to go full nerd and get my nerd points, here are my top ten characters from one piece
1. big mom
2. monkey d luffy
3. tony tony chopper
4. mr 2 bon clay
5. charlotte katakuri
6. jinbe
7. that gun that can turn into a dog from alabasta
8. gang bege
9. nami
10. mont d'or
gonna keep talking about one piece. i think one piece is at its core an argument for optimism. it posits we should believe in miracles, but also not wait around for them. that is a good message. personally, i believe in that
gonna try to read the stand. why not
the fact that the neon translucent plastic trend of the 90s only lasted like 15 years makes me feel like there's a whole world of tiny aesthetic niches thru history that will be forever lost to time
crying because i had to pay the government 4 dollars in taxes
i got some cute shorts from goodwill yesterday watch out
i like when i find the sock of someone im dating in my laundry. always heartwarming <3
i just came up with something really funny
alexander mcqueen on the wiki front page again. i found out thru depths of wikipedia that this is because there is a prominent wikipedia editor with an alexander mcqueen obsession. which is awesome to know, though i do miss when it felt like my personal conspiracy
im gonna do it. im gonna cancel my freakin internet
wondering if i can actually get away without paying for internet. i can use my phone as a hotspot and i can download stuff at work. i really think it might be possible
been out of it the last 2 days. i think part of it is my house is a mess. gonna clean tonight
im so tea pilled now guys it's not even funny
saw the eclipse with my friends it was crazy like that is a freaking omen dawg
big mom is the best one piece character
theres always too much food at work, and i eat to much of it. but when there's no food at work, like today... i get sad............
actually did stuff at work today *shocked*
date of birth feels like a fake band to me like theyve been inserted into history like tlon. and they rock
just finished the three body problem. i really liked it, although the actual writing style is rather stilted. i think the ideas in it and the commentary/allegory on how humanity acts toward itself is really well done. and the science fiction concepts are terrifying. maybe the best existential horror i've ever read
driving back from eureka with X⌠we saw a lizard, she drank from a tub labeled âholy waterâ, and we might have ticks. all in all a successful outing
been reading one piece so much, makes me feel like we can defeat all our problems by punching people
X has a message for flounder: âmake sure you put enough honey on your peanut butter honey sandwich or else youâll get a mouthful of all peanut butter, no honey.â
dear diary . after 3 tries, i learnt a powerful Gamer Lesson. do not order a crt monitor from ebay. it will get broked during shipping. i am now on a painful quest to find this certain type of crt monitor i can pick up locally⌠painful
feelin' good
had a dream last night that someone walked by my car and was like "pff, really? a 2007 honda accord?" and i spent a long time explaining to them why it was actually a cool and reliable car (including dream facts like how my car used "G2 oil" just like ferraris). i think i convinced him. then he started crying because his daughter was missing
in real life, this was a weekend of seeing people after self-quarantining for a week. i think, thankfully, that i managed to avoid getting covid knock on wood. i had a lovely time,,, went on a hike, went to a friend's birthday party, which was really fun
and yesterday i went to X's friend's house and met more of her friends, they all seem like kind people. we played a lot of charades. and one of X's friend's little siblings is into Jojo and it was fun to talk about that. i think she is the first person I've talked to IRL who has made it all the way to Steel Ball Run. she also had the jojo ps4 fighting game and we played a round. rare extreme nerdout on my part (as opposed to my incredibly frequent mild nerdouts)
obsessed with the only three songs you can find on youtube from Date Of Birth's fake greatest hits album... i literally can't find the rest of the album anywhere online i had to order it from discogs. what da heck???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psy2hAMcCS8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soKzwzxm594
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMq5hFfrpZo
been doing a lot of thinking. i think that soon, but eventually, but soon, i'm going to have to quit my job. for my soul.
i cant wait to go to six flags
everyone should read one piece
im in self-quarantine due to covid exposure and im so bored haha.... finished uncharted 2 now im on 3
blah blah blue blue blue blue blah ble blah BLUE bla, BLABLABLABLABLABLA blue blue blue beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh beh
beh.
beh.
^^current state of mind
