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How I became a truly international man

Seven years ago I was just another soon to be divorced British man scheduled to fade away into poverty and from view. Or so everyone thought.

I had, in fact, been plotting a quiet revolution - or perhaps, a rebellion? It began with me, not anyone else in the family, for a number of different reasons.

So, as I prepare to go where nobody in the family has dared to tread, it seems, and not for the first time to ask the proverbial question... why?

And why has nobody else in the family set this course, and why will we have to wait for the next generation before any others follow in my footsteps. I am very much a maverick in my family, and, for that matter, a pioneer. I am not afraid to boldly go where others fear to tread.

The story really began back in the times when my fate seemed certain. But I have a habit of catching my detractors totally off guard.

As mentioned in a previous article, the British culture and financial system are hardly conducive to rebuilding one's life post-apocalypse. And nor, for that matter are family law, the job market or the cost of living. But forewarned is forearmed. Having worked in the National Health Service (NHS), which I often describe as the one shining jewel remaining in this countries' crown, I have seen the fate of many less fortunate groups of people. And divorced men are already financially, socially, employmentally and romantically disadvantaged. How so?

▪ Financially: they are discriminated against in the courts and family law (See gemini://dfdn.info/justice);

▪ Socially: as there is still a stigma associated with divorce irrespective of fault

▪ Employmentally: divorcees are generally older men or women (men are the more disadvantaged in most cases), the loveless marriage will likely have had severe consequences for their career especially if they are victims of financial and/or other forms of abuse;

▪ Romantically, as those men not married are either divorcees like myself, or have some other impairment or reason to remain unattached - this is particularly true in our materially overdriven but morally impoverished culture, where women tend to place the wallet before the heart and value their perceived need to lead a consumer lifestyle above a desire to have a loving relationship.

Now: when these factors become intertwined, you can see why, at my age, any man unattached is limited to a choice of gold diggers if wealthy (and as I have long since told my students, in the UK we have divorced men, and we have wealthy men - but there are no divorced wealthy men); or will probably be forced to chose between a drug addict or lifelong loneliness if not wealthy. Some culture, some choice!

And, in all those years since leaving school in 1991,I have learned that (graduate or not) your chances in the job market depend on knowing exactly the right people, in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time. And over all these years, living costs have risen out of control, especially in regard to housing.

So, I had two choices....

▪Be a 'mummies boy' and meekly accept my fate by remaining here as my mother literally wishes me to, or:-

▪Be a man, and take a radical new approach. And, I cast my net further afield and found someone who made my mind up for me.

And what gives?

▪The fact that I am prepared to fly half way around the world to break the financial (aka CMS) stranglehold and seek a place where living costs are sensible;

▪The fact that I have managed to maintain and extend my social networks regardless;

▪The fact that I have sought out somewhere which is far more a meritocracy when it comes to job opportunities;

▪The fact that I have found that in other cultures there exist ladies for whom I actually have high stock value beyond that of my (depleted) wallet.

I need not explain in detail which of the two choices I made. It is intuitive fi you read this far! And if you are in a similar position to mine back in 2017, and want to follow in my footsteps, I will (off the record) offer guidance on how to beat each of the problems listed above in turn. I can guide you as to what to seek (and what to watch out for). I have, in the wilderness years, carried out much research into where the best prospects lie. You will, of course, require a location independent source of income. You cannot bring plans to fruition without it!

There are cheaper places to live safer places to live, and places where you might even feel valued. There are even places where hard work actually counts for something. There is no point working 60 hours per week and still have to resort to using food banks to feed your new family (And food banks were unheard of a generation ago).

For those in my close circles, this will have come as no great surprise. And as to my enemies, beware. There are no easy victories, and if an easy victory beckons, it is probably a trap.

I will not go quietly into the night. Appearances can be deceptive. After all, history should tell us that there is nothing more dangerous than an Englishman scorned.