💾 Archived View for meggplant.flounder.online › sadge.gmi captured on 2024-12-17 at 09:48:40. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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Sadness comes in sometimes. I'm not alone, but it gets lonely. I'm still searching for answers that I won't really find. Recently heard that we understand life backwards, but have to live it forwards and I think that's part of it.
I see a lot of similarities between the groups I've flowed through in the last few years. Strong, long-time friends from highschool or college. A safety and security of knowing and being known.
I had that too and could have kept it. I miss it. And I was always terrified I'd lose it. And I always knew that I would when I walked away from him. I never should have stayed, but I wanted it.
Each time I recognize a face I'll never speak to again, it stings.
I wonder if i'm repeating patterns I can't see. I try to be self-aware, but I'm terrified that I'm just missing it all. All of the pieces that fit together and make things real.
I think about taking this and trying to make something relatable, something feeling-like, something artistic, but I'm just too tired.