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@evilswampmonster i feel so much of yr post, thank you. the part near the end about your mom's belief in ~one truth~ is something that i think also played a big role in my family but was never openly spoken of, similar to what you mentioned about the inadvertent messages that we send
the one truth thing is especially difficult because it's really appealing for there to be one truth! that would make things so much simpler, lol. but it also leads to dogmatic thinking, stubbornness, and a vulnerability to being deeply misled and/or manipulated
maybe not sure about that last bit but that's probably enough for one chatroom msg! :)