💾 Archived View for evilswampmonster.flounder.online › fleeting.gmi captured on 2024-09-29 at 00:02:41. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2024-08-31)
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9/28
playing the "sick or allergies" game rn. i think it's allergies
9/25
worked sooo hard and emailed the counseling office 100000 times to book a room on campus for my 2 sessions tonight bc they were all full and I finally got one and one of my clients just canceled last minute(the earlier one ofc so now im stuck on campus). not my client's fault at all and i love her but it is annoying to me rn
9/24
this time next week ill be halfway through my clinical hours for the semester :0 v v excited ! im realizing how much i truly love seeing clients in therapy.
over the summer i was a practicum student and not an intern, which means i had a much lower hour requirement to finish out the semester but my then-advisor was watching every moment of my sessions. & in retrospect she was incredibly harsh! like there was one client who i was having a hard time interrupting & confronting (because that's a hard thing to do), and she was like "if you don't interrupt her and confront her, im not letting you move forward to internship." i hardcore spiraled after that i think. i really questioned my ability to do a good job in sessions. i think hearing that pushed me to be a better clinician and when the semester was over she said i was doing a good job, but i would have done so much better if she had said it in a kinder way. at the time i was grateful for her honesty and was glad i was being told the truth, but im glad she's not my advisor anymore! my current advisor is so much nicer.
9/23
hair color is such an important element when picking a halloween costume unfortunately. was considering being the bitch from almost famous but i can't pull that off! not blonde! probs a good thing anyway though bc if i did it too well i would almost certainly fall in love w myself, not a good look
may just end up being carmie from the bear but i do want to look hot this year, and that's hard to pull off in a tshirt that says "beef." idk!
9/20
thought i invented the chai cold foam espresso martini but it was already a thing :/ #notaninnovator
9/16
@ work and my coworker for the day called out sick so i am all alone!
convo w my boss about it lmaoo
9/15
just shed actual tears thinking about the wire mother/cloth mother monkeys :(
9/13
hmmmm (me, thinking)
9/7
it was a nice temp for a run this morning! i can only go 2 miles so far but now that it's getting cooler im gonna try to push myself to go farther & get stronger.
i want to write about not living in my parents' house anymore. im in a family systems class this semester and so far we've talked a little about how families can have cultures of dysfunction. my family is incredibly codependent and anxious, and i feel like, now that i have a little distance from them, i can see how that was what was making me feel like i was drowning the whole time. ive been thinking a lot about the messages that parents inadvertently send their kids-- obviously if a parent says "nobody will care about you as much as we do" to their kids, it's fucked up, but if they say and do things that imply that that's the truth, the kid still comes away with that message, just in a more disorganized and dissociated way. it's like how parents don't ever have to say beauty standards outright without kids picking up on them. maybe this is very obvious but to me it's been interesting to think about.
one thing that my mom talks about a lot is her hatred of the idea of multiple truths; she'll say, "there is only one truth, there's no such thing as YOUR truth." it's interesting because one of the most valuable messages that ive absorbed from therapy is just the opposite-- there are multiple truths based on the lens of ur own experience. like a dbt informed approach ig.
my partner and I are gonna bake bread tomorrow and im gonna play guitar on my bed and get drinks with a friend today. I'm excited about the turn of the season and creating new paths for myself. <3
