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< intense emotions in regards to software
I was just let go from my company today. I was going to quit anyway, because the environment was so hostile. But multiple times in the last few months I would lie awake in bed as my heart pumped because I was simply angry at management for making absolutely boneheaded decisions. I realized I was only mad because I care. I care about software.
How I wish I was one of those people who couldn't give a fuck. But I do, because I care. I want to do a good job. I want someone to look at the things I create and say "wow, someone really spent their time thinking about this."
But I was forced to make garbage. And I was sad. Mad. Upset that I was only given the time to do a half-job, and then when it obviously wasn't up to management's standards, they would find the time to do the other half only after doing it incorrectly the first time. So we had time to do it wrong, twice, but not the right way from the beginning.
I love software. I love to notice that the corners on that square are actually not just a simple `corner-radius`, and are actually slightly sqround. How did they think of that? Or how did they make it so that I can search _billions_ of messages for a random word and get all the results, perfectly paginated, in under a second? Absolutely brilliant.
All I can wish is that one day someone will think the same about my software.
Howdy!
You are not alone. I sometimes subtly exercise the right to refuse. I refuse to package half baked stuff that will fail rather sooner than later. I sometimes argue "well, it has MY name tagged to it, not yours!" But I am in a very comfortable position to do this. I do specialized stuff that is needed so early in the production chain, that the shortcomings on my desk are going to be fixed long before $product hits $customer.
Do not despair!