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My dad has finally, finally told my mother that he'd like a divorce. And understandably she is quite upset about it. I love her very much and I would not want to see her go, but there is a chance that she will move back to Japan, as there are other family members there. And I will be staying here in the west with my sister and dad.
Somehow as cruel as it sounds, I find myself sometimes imagining how home life would be if my mother was not around. I know I would cry sometimes, for sure. My mother has warm bony hands and when I was little she used to sing to me. Maybe I will ask her to record some of her singing, so that I don't forget entirely how she sounds.
The house will certainly be a lot more quiet, with just three of us. Maybe there will be less furniture. It will feel empty, but the feeling of walking on eggshells will suddenly be gone. Dad says he shall feel much less stress, and I am inclined to agree, but I will miss her so much. On the other side of the world, she'll be living, and what if I lose contact with the Japanese side of me? I'll become so so caucasian, imagine that! I will have to preserve the bits of Japan that remain here in our house. The rice cooker and the 'no shoes indoors' rule, those will be forever.
--Soumy
I'm late, but I wanted to encourage you to really keep in contact with your mother. Show her, that she didn't lose her daughter, if you possibly can.
Any type of break up is painful, but time will heal the wounds that look deep now. Also, it is not a "good bye", more like a "see you later".
In my personal experience, moving abroad made me reconnect with my roots, so maybe instead of becoming "so so caucasian", you will become "so so japanese" :)
When I was a kid my parents used to argue a lot... I sometimes thought they were about to get a divorce... (and they would be happier that way) but they never did. As of now they keep arguing every weekend... and I prefer to spend the weekends away...
I wish the best for both of your parents, yourself (and your sibling?).
what if I lose contact with the Japanese side of me?
You'll find the way to get to visit her! =)
Divorce can be a difficult thing, but I have noticed that regardless of whether symbols of who you are in the form of parents are there or not, some things stick regardless.