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Don't feel too sad... we learn by sharing experience... sure, bad things happen to people but if we all learn and grow from it, and ideally don't pass along the bad stuff _we_ learnt (particularly about being harsh with ourselves) then we have won...
I don't check in to midnight pub that often, but I'm glad I chanced across your post... I hope you find your peace and thank you for your empathy and compassion... that will go a long way in the world.