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I totally hear you.

I don't know where you live and how much those expectations affect your day to day life, but I'm starting to learn to simply not give a f#ck about what people expect of me.

I suffer CPTSD from emotional abuse in childhood and my "inner critic" is incredibly strong. I've found over the years of mindfulness practice and therapy that a lot of what I perceive is judgement from others is actually self-judgement. Shrinking the inner critic has been a HUGE part of my recovery (it's a lifetime's work!)

Another incredibly helpful thing I've done is to find non-judgemental, accepting, supportive, uplifting people and spend MUCH more time with them. I have dropped a lot of my old friends who judged me or placed expectations on me, or even harshly judged themselves without being conscious of it (my best friends still judge themselves but they are self-aware and we talk about it and laugh about it)

I hope you find your spike-free place. It's inside you somewhere. For me it was called my "authentic self"... I found it when I tapped into my authentic needs, desires, values and boundaries. Like I say, a lot of work but it gets more worth it every day.

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~p3nny_3y3s wrote:

I'm very sorry that happened to you, I'm glad you were able to find solace. I made a master reply to everyone on the comment section on the og post if youre interested in a longer reply.