💾 Archived View for bugleague.flounder.online › stream3.gmi captured on 2024-08-31 at 11:56:56. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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My friend was born on leap day
They added a whole day to the year
Just for him to get born
If he was never born
The earth would come spinning
Around the sun a quarter too far
And slowly every year
The seasons would drift
Until it’s snowing in august
And that would drive me crazy
If he was never born
The calendar would be wrong
Like every 100 years
You’d feel somethings missing
And not know why
But the world is a good place
So they thought ahead
And they grew the shortest month
Stretched it out
Just long enough to catch him
From where he floated
Through the ether
And bring him down to earth
Time works different for him
The years pass by
But he just doesn’t wear them
He’s as young now
As he was three, four years ago
He’s older and younger than me
And that doesn’t seem strange
He makes sense how he is
When he got born
Doctor told his mom
He’s big for his size
And put a frog hat on him
Then he jumped around
In the baby room they put babys in
The one in the hospital
And that’s how they made frog day
Which was later renamed
To leap day
Because it turns out
There was another frog day
On March 20th
So they had to change it
The windshield wipers
Of a brand new
Broken down car
Screech across my smiling eyes
And wipe the tears away
I sit down on the curb
Of a road I’ve been down before
Now feels like
The only road i ever drove
All the way down
Making a u turn at the light
And all the way back up
Many many times
The keystone of the arch
Has people inside
It holds the whole thing together
They built it from the bottom up
Then they wedged it in
Pinched between two falling towers
Held tightly in its home
You can ride up
And peek through the slot window
Over this side is the city
Over that one is the river
Here you stand pinched
Gateway to the west
There are lots of places
For a person to live
Many cities and towns
Probably a billion of em
I love these places
The places people built
By people for people
Doing all our people things
Together
Yeah there are lots of cities
And i love them
But there’s only one
That loves me back
A soldier without a war
Is just a scary kind of guy
Born too late too early
To get sucked into
Some major conflict
That he really believes in
Too cynical to hand himself over
To the guys fighting just to fight
Killing time before
The next big war
If you gave this soldier a cause
He would be dangerous
He would hold up his weapon
Point it at the enemy
And feel just in it
He would obey orders
He would know
What he is being told to do
Is what needs to be done
He would have faith
That he was using his evil
To bring good to the world
But a soldier without a war
A real war
A good war
It’s just a guy
Looking for a reason
To start being violent
That’s not safe for anyone
We don’t need that here
This is a time of peace
That’s what we’re calling it
Peace for the deserving
Nobody’s fighting the war
That ought to be fought
Fighting for the soldiers cause
The army’s always hiring
But it’s the wrong army
So soldier boy
Clenched fist
He just gets angry
And tries to be kind
There will be no parade
No medal of honor
But this is a war worth fighting
A cause worth dying for
Kindness from anger
Soldier boy tell them
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that
Soldier boy
Don’t touch me
I’m hot right now
Burning hot
Smokin
Yeoowch!
Burn your damn hand
I’m hot right now
I’m cooking
I’m steaming
I’m roasting
I’m toasting
I’m smooth with it
I’m warm with it
Hot like fire
Hot like lava
Hot like hot dog
I’m the hottest dog here
Woof I’m hot
I’m sweatin
I’m baked fried broiled
Hot like dinner
Take a step back
Cuz I’m fucking
Hot right now
I’d make a really good
First part
Of a monster
Before the accident
Before the mutation
Before the horror
I’m the guy who became it
I’ve got a sympathetic story
But you can see
I was always headed here
Spelled out in
Heavy handed foreshadow
All the way back when
Those of you who know
Will look at the monster
And you see it has my eyes
Which blink not recognizing you
And that’s when it gets you
Acting without conscience
It is a monster after all
That’s what it’s for
Scaring you and creeping about
Lurking and lurching
In the wet cold basement
A monster with a sad backstory
It still needs to be killed
And when it’s burning
Melting away in the flames
Before it is all the way gone
You will catch its gaze
And for a moment I’m back
I recognize you
I am redeemed and forgiven
For finally dying
Like a good monster should
Jason Penthouse
The richest kid in school
His daddy owns a company
One of them big ones
That owns other companies
Companies our dads work for
So every dollar of your allowance
Somehow comes from Mr. Penthouse
That’s what Jason says at least
He’s having people to his lake house
Next weekend but I’m not invited
I have homework anyways
Jason has a private tutor
I’m pretty sure she does all his work
Then he signs his name at the top
He got the brand new iPhone
And he doesn’t even use a case
He got the shiny shoes brand new
Like baby would’ve worn
Rich baby penthouse shoes
This summer he’s going to Hawaii
He said he’s gonna ride a jet ski
Jason Penthouse that guy
He’s cool because he’s rich
So much money make him cool
Well i think he’s a jerk
I work out now
I pick stuff up and set it down
I pull it down and put it back up
I run and run and run
I do squats and stuff
And then i almost fall up the stairs
Because i still have to walk home
And my leggies tired
I listen to the music
I listened to when i was 13
I’ve been revisiting my own past
In little snippets
3 minutes at a time
Half of my life ago damn
This music rocks though
It’s great to run to
And i run now
I’m a workout guy now
I forget all the time
It feels good to do this
I’m gone fishing
If you’re looking for me
I’m doing what i call
Challenge Fishing
This is when you
Just throw the hook out
No bait no lure or nothing
Just sharp metal on a line
And every time you cast
You say this’ll be the one
And then gasp and sigh
When you reel in nothing
You can spend all day fishing
And never get a bite
It’s about practicing patience
It’s about learning to let go
The thrill of the hunt
Standing still and doing nothing
After days of this
You will find your peace
A pleasant day by the water
With no threat of violence
Standing and waiting
For something to break the quiet
And it never comes
So you become part of it
And when you pack up and go home
You bring the quiet with you
That’s the challenge
To catch the most elusive fish of all
The fish inside your mind
Had a fun weekend with H and E. I love to have friends in town. I never really had people over when i was living in St Louis because i guess there was always somewhere else to be. Now it is something that I really enjoy. I like to host people and show them around my little world in Chicago. I got some new sheets and pillows for my guest bed (air mattress) and as far as i can tell people have had a good time staying with me. I miss everybody all the time but that’s how it goes when you move away. More and more as the weather gets less cold and bad I am reminded of my certainty that this is a good place for me. I’m making good on a lot of goals I’ve set for myself which makes me feel powerful. Still got a ways to go but i love making progress. I’ve been having a little more success meeting new people up here lately and this month is so full of friends that it’s hard to get lonely. E is coming up this weekend then next week I’m going back to stl for R’s birthday. I had a nice little Valentine’s Day to myself last week. Went to the lake, bought myself some flowers, took a bath, felt good about stuff. It’s been a while since i had a romantic Valentine’s Day, but it’s always been a fun day for me. An occasion to recognize and celebrate love. I’m all about that. Didn’t go play at the open mic last night but i may go this next Sunday who knows. I started playing my electric guitar and I’m working on getting better at that. All in all, things are good right now.
When i die
And I’m pretty sure i will
One of these days
I wanna go up
In a wisp of smoke
Drift around the sky for a bit
Stretch my spirit legs
After so long crammed inside
A body only so big
For the limitless soul
I’ll skate around the atmosphere
Maybe I’ll leave you a sign
If you see a bird or something
One that reminds you of me
I probably put that there
Then when I’ve had my fun
I’ll float on up to heaven
All the angels will turn
Towards the swinging golden gates
They’ll smile at me and say
Thank God you’re here
There’s so much work to do
And we could use a hand
My dad is like
Two inches tall now
One day he started shrinking
And i didn’t notice
But then every time i saw him
He was smaller and smaller
Wrinkling into himself
Falling deeper into
His own gravity
Like a black hole
He is collapsing
He’s the smallest he’s ever been
And he’s angry
And he doesn’t know why
It makes me so sad
Knowing i could pick him up
Hold him in the palm of my hand
I could try and make him grow
Before he disappears into nothing
But when i reach for him
He puckers his face
Like biting into a lemon
And the pucker continues inwards
I can no longer see his face
Not the face i remember
Clean shaven and smiling
I don’t really remember
What he was like
Before he was small
When he was hiding his smallness
Driving us to baseball games
Teaching us how to be
When he speaks now
He’s always shouting
To be heard through the smallness
He bites at our ankles
Tries to drag us to the ground
Small us all to his level
Bed case scenario
Is just ignore him
Like a mosquito
I hope it’s not in me
This smallness
I hope i don’t go out shrinking
Honking my horn at nothing
Attacking what i can’t understand
I stand straddling
Two short moments
Long separated
By the growth of vines
Hair and nails and wrinkles
Back in the past
A hand brushes my cheek
And i feel the warmth here
Far far far away
Back then i feel the cold
My face pressed against glass
Leeching heat into night air
Everything happens at once
I fall asleep on the train
I lock eyes unblinking
In the pink light of summer
I couldn’t remember the future then
But i could feel it on my shoulders
Where i sit perched now
Looking over me
Unsure which way to turn my smile
If i knew about living forever
I probably would have taken my time
I probably would have died
Face up in the bath tub
Drowning in the air
So good that when i felt the cold
I couldn’t trace its source
To a far approaching train
Galloping through the night
A quiet moment on the caboose
Pushing the mind back
Into a hot room
Full of trepidatious love
Scratching at the inside
Of two copies of this head
Wondering is it better
To be lonely and know it
Or the hidden kind of lonely
You learn about much later
It probably doesn’t matter
If you listen to the same song
It will sound the same way
Almost every time
Mississippi i feel you
Above and below the confluence
At this threshold here
Folding over yourself
Between the golden air
The water flowing black
Deep below a standing figure
Falling without a splash
Mississippi i feel you
In my waking dreams
Flowing the same direction
Smiling and dancing again
This room will be full forever
As soon as you walk back in
Flowing around every corner
Filling up your container
Til it runneth over and over
Go get a bigger cup
Mississippi i feel you
Cold in my hands
A river is mostly water
The rest is fish mud and love
Flowing downhill off the table
For me to catch in my mouth
Way down south at the delta
It tastes like i remember
Drinking from the garden hose
All i see in his eyes is hunger
I see him licking his lips
Like I’m the prize hog
They’ll get me nice and fat
And year after year at the fair
They’ll win the blue ribbon prize
And when times are tough
They’ll carve a sliver of bacon
From my stomach grill it up
They’ll keep taking and taking
Like I’m not a living thing
I’m just a funnel for their greed
Force fed slop til I’m bulging
Can’t hardly move an inch
Then they’ll slaughter me
Strip my bones and feast
This is one of my options
If I’m swine I’m the best swine
The blue ribbon prize hog
I think the biggest problem
Of all the big problems
Is waste
We are a wasteful people
I think something should be used up
Before you get a new one
I always eat my leftovers
I don’t go grocery shopping
Until the fridge is empty
I think clothes should be worn
Until they disintegrate off your body
And that’s happening now
My favorite pair of pants
Is so worn that the crotch is falling out
And i didn’t notice til i got to work
So i got a hole in the butt of my pants
A butt hole in my pants
And I’m embarrassed
Sad to see this is my last wear
Of this pair of pants
But moreso I’m proud
I finished these pants
Ate every last crumb on the plate
The hole is in a place
That can’t really be patched or sewn
It’s unquestionable
These aren’t wearable anymore
And that’s a good feeling
Like my last pair of shoes
When they wore through
I just duct taped them together
Until my mom made me throw them out
I coulda got another couple months
Before those were garbage
They just looked bad
But still i made it work
Having a hole in the butt of your pants
Feels like your doing your part
I’m a hero for this
If you see my butt today
Through the hole in the fabric
Raise your arm and salute
Shucking corn on the porch
Mom leaned over
Picked some from your hair
Then smoothed it back down
You looked up
Big brown eyes
Not a thought behind them
I kicked over the trashcan
Petey came snapped up scraps
We chased after him
You held him by the neck
While i pried his mouth open
Pulled out the garbage
He was mad but he moved on
Laid at the far end of the yard
Sniffing the air
As we went back to shucking corn
The sun not setting yet
But working on it
Henry tried to start the fire
But the sticks were too green
So Mom sent him out for more
He came back
Dragging one big branch
Pulled a saw from the shed
And started wasting time on that
Somebody called me in the kitchen
I took a sip of the cooling air
Let the screendoor slam bounce behind me
In the yellow kitchen i got put to work
I cleared the crayons off the table
Replaced them with plates and forks
Then they cut me loose
To go stand over Henry’s shoulder
Watching him strike the lighter
He was getting closer but it wouldn’t catch
By the time it did they called us in to eat
And it was a good meal
We looked out the window
The sky and the small flame
Dimming at the same rate
After we cleared up and did dishes
The grown ups fixed the fire
And we sat around
Talking and singing and being quiet
Staring up at the stars in the sky
We each saw our own shooting star
On mine i made this wish
I wished i would remember
Shucking corn on the porch
I finally sorted some money stuff out
I got a payment plan for my loans
If I’m smart I’ll be paid off by next summer
I set up my credit card
And filed to get my engineers license
I’m riding my bike again
And i think I’m gonna go to a gym
Once or twice a week
Instead of just working out
In front of the tv at home
I’m doing all this stuff
That feels like it should be important
But I’ve got that hidden itch
That I’m forgetting something
Wasting my time
Makes it hard to sit still
Until I’m petrified
And i need to stuff it down
By sitting unmoving for hours
Happens all the time
Waxing and waning
But i reassure myself
At least I’ve got a plan
And im sticking to it
Gonna go to dollar beer night
With my new old friend Daniel
Next week or so
That’s good
I gotta remember this one thing
Garfield was right about this
Mondays are bad
And they make me feel weird
Gotta remember that
I found a loose wing in the alley
It used to belong to a bird
But that bird is gone now
Save for this untouched wing
The feathers look fine
Up until the exposed bone
I don’t know what happened here
But it must have been sad
I want to scoop it up
But i ought not
I can’t help feeling
Like everything is torn apart
Guilty standing here intact
If i had wings I���d fly
Raise up into the air
And go somewhere
If this wing had a body
It would be a bird
I don’t think it’s my fault
I couldn’t have stopped it
But i wish i could try
I wish there was just
One more bird
Flying in this world
It would make a difference
Computerhead Sam
Sits on the bus all alone
Nobody shares the bench
Cause his damn head so big
On the screen
It says everything he’s thinking
And people feel invasive
When they look him in the face
So they try not to look
And what they’re not looking at
Is him saying
Why won’t they look at me
Why won’t they sit by me
Oh woe is me I’m so lonely
At the end of the day
He plugs in at the outlet
And he wishes he hadn’t done it
At the time it seemed awesome
He thought it just a matter of time
Before everybody swapped their heads
For big computer monitors
But the company that did the procedure
Went under within the year
It’s just Computerhead Sam
And a handful of other guys
Spread out over the country
He can’t fly on a plane
To be around someone similar
Because TSA didn’t make rules for that
They just get confused
And turn him around
So he rides the bus all over
Looking for somewhere to work
But people are put off
By the aforementioned computerhead
Best he can hope for
Is a remote office job
When he does his interviews
He tries to have a sense of humor
He says you can save on expenses
I already got the computer
And they hardly ever laugh
They ask technical questions
About what operating systems
He’s able to run in his head
Then they look at him
And spelled out on the screen
Is something unpleasant
And they tell him
Thanks but no thanks
Better luck next time
What a damn shame
He got rid of his old head
It wasn’t all that bad
He had a nice smile
But there’s no number to call
To get the head back
Who knows what they did with it
That poor poor guy
Computerhead Sam
I can’t die
Or i wouldn’t be i
I would be
Something else
The I in I
Stands for
I can’t die
Some people
Are scared of dying
Some people
Are scared of living
I not scared of anything
Because I can’t die
I is alive
So if i were dead
That just wouldn’t be i
That’s something but
It’s not I
I is forever
I stands for infinity
I is so big
That they had to use one letter
Otherwise
We’d be here all day
Explaining about I
How I can’t die
Because I is I
So when i get hurt and injured
I don’t get afraid
No matter what happens
I can’t die
I don’t know why
But I cant die
A woman sits in a chair
She is somewhere
A room probably
She’s folded her hands
Under her legs
Because they have turned bright red
They do this any time
She starts feeling anxious
And from outside the room
Somehow you know it happened
Miles away you’ve got headphones in
And Paul Simon is singing her name
When those aren’t even the words
That’s the tough part
Of loving all the way
A heart is a one way road
It only goes in
So it won’t cross your mind
Until it strikes right through it
You’ve got a good memory
Not photographic
But if they made a camera
That just captured emotion
That’s what you’d have
Filling up your photo album
The smell of the air tonight
Pulls you back to years ago
With some person you almost forgot
Until now you’re back next to them
The weight of them on your arm
The sound of them in your ear
And the feeling in your heart
That somebody wants you tonight
It’s not a bad thing not at all
It just comes in waves
Everyone you ever loved
Churning up the tide
By the time you get old
It’ll probably never stop
One big love tidal wave
To take you all the way
To the far shore
Um what’s up YouTube
This is something that’s been
on my heart for a long time
And you know
All i ever wanted to be in life
Was a super saiyan
You know ever since i was a little kid
I used to always look up to goku
and vegeta
Gohan
I used to just look at them and
Just wonder like
How come I’m just a human being
You know
I’m so worthless
Oh what can i do?
I can run
I can jump
I can flip
And it’s just like
We are so limited as human beings
And i just feel like
When i see superhero’s
You know
Why can’t we be
That exciting
And that
Awesome
Like why can’t i wake up
And if I’m late for school
Just teleport there
And be on time?
But i feel like
You know
During that time of meditation
And just thinking about it
I realized something:
All of that is possible and more
It’s all in here
It’s all in your mind
Think about anything
That you ever tried to do
You thought to yourself
Man, i could never do that
But then when you practiced it
Guess what?
You got better at it
And you actually achieved it
Didn’t you?
It’s the same thing
When you look at
Super powers
Of course it sounds absurd
When you first look at it
But if you try it
You know if you actually
Set your mind to it
And believe
You can achieve it
…
I saw a Chinese man
Set a piece of paper on fire
With just the power of his hands
Now you’re gonna tell me
That that was fake?
No it wasn’t fake!
He channeled that energy
From within
And he believed
And he channeled that energy
Through the creation of his mind
Of what his mind believed
And what he spoke into existence
Of the power that he had
You understand what I’m saying
I feel like anything that
You set your mind to
Your mind can create that force
Because your mind
Is just this powerful machine
Whatever you set it to
And you believe
And you work towards achieving it
You can do it
You can do it
And i believe i can be a super saiyan
https://youtu.be/C46kW_1rIO4?si=9ZkmiJ11Dbprkhfr
I was cooking
Beans and rice
Always beans and rice
And i decided to burn the house down
I left the stovetop on
I put every blanket in the house
In a pile on the floor
Then i lit every candle
And i put the space heater
Full blast in the living room
I left your curling iron on
Then i started smoking inside
By the time you got home
The fire was going strong
You saw me in there
Burning and smiling
And i waved at you
I hollered don’t worry
I took out an insurance claim
You said that doesn’t work for arson
So i frowned and tried to put it out
You helped me stamp out the ashes
Then you drove me to hospital
After all my skin grew back
You told me you were leaving me
I felt like that was unfair
I said could you wait a week
And think it over
You said you already did
You were planning on leaving
Long before I burned down the house
I really thought my scam would work
All our problems would burn up
And we’d be left rich and homeless
But i guess you’re right
I shouldn’t burn down the house
Even if i meant well
In 1988 a lichen was discovered
Growing on the outside
Of the Russian space station Mir
Somehow thriving in the void
A lichen is a symbiotic lifeform
It is a plant and a fungus
One creature from two organisms
The plant takes in light
The fungi gathers nutrients
And they feed each other
Humans die easily
But we can build things
Like a rocket into space
Like the worlds biggest gun
Point it at a planet
Board the crew
A ship full of lichen
And begin the invasion
Conquer the stars
In the name of Earth-Life
And on this home planet
Full of childless uncles
We know at least we made a mark
There is something like us
Which will survive
On this rock
And the rest of the empire
Even if we die out
Before we learn
How the lichen does it
There has been a disturbance
Rippling through the fabric
Of the psychosphere
If you’re trained you can tell
When you go to sleep
Your brain rides the waves
They always come in sets of three
Waking dreams and dreaming awakes
Reading a dream is hard because
You’re used to reading words
Specific messages
But dream mood messages
Don’t have thought out morals
They are echoes in the wake
Of a big fat feeling
That one of your six senses
Picked up out in the world
I dreamed again of teeth falling out
Twelve teeth in my hand
Gums bleeding full of holes
And i just started a new job
Teaching at a school
But i couldn’t talk
Because i had no teeth
I stole a ticket
Hopped a train
Cooked a big meal
All with teeth in my hand
And this is either about me
Or i caught a wave
From somebody else’s mind
In th psychosphere ocean
When you are alive
You are inside your body
But you are other places too
You are in photographs
You are in memories
In footprints in the sand
In the rut you left in the couch
You’re burned into the hard drive
You’re in other people’s dreams
You’re all over the place
When you die
From getting runned over
By a big sixteen wheeler
Your pancaked body falls hollow
You aren’t in it anymore
You become untethered
All the strands of you in the world
They persist
Some just fade away
Like your body decaying
But in all of the places
The connection was strongest
You become a ghost
A partial image
Visible only to some
You show up in dreams
You show up in memories
You show up in pictures on the wall
And only after all of them fade
A long long long time
That’s when you’re laid to rest
That’s when you stop
Tale as old as time
A cat chasing a mouse
Expand on this
A dog to chase the cat
A flea to be chased by the mouse
A germ to be chased by the flea
A man to chase the dog
A bigger man to chase the man
Comedic hijinks ensue
Slapstick comedy
Tom and Jerry
Played at the open mic tonight at my favorite bar and it went very well. The bartender kept hyping me up and bought me several drinks after. I got a free drink every night this weekend. My brother and sister in law were in town for some stuff and stayed with me. And every night the bartenders were like, “hey do you want this free shot, i made it just for you” (sometimes this was plural, sometimes just for me). It was a good time. I’ve been feeling. Wintery. Which is what i expected winter in a new city would be like. But the last week or so i have broken through and genuinely enjoyed myself most days of the week. And that is a massive win. I am so proud of myself and still, even now in a sort of lull, so glad that i made the decision to move. I am pushing myself all the time, and all the time i am moving towards where i want to be. Multiple people at the bar tonight told me i killed it and were so nice, and i got to talk to some new people who I’ll probably see again at the next open mic night. The opportunity cost of not being around my bestest friends all the time still weighs on me, but i feel certain at this point that there is no way that i could have avoided making this move without seriously stagnating my own growth. I am so grateful that everyone has taken time to come up and visit, and i hope that this is a debt that i can repay in time. I got to go to bed now, but I’m working from home tomorrow because i am smart. I hope you are well as you read this, and are being patient and kind to yourself. That’s the biggest thing that matters. And get some sleep. Like me right now: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
First i gotta learn to sail
I already know how to steal
How to be rough and ragged
I taught myself to cuss
I wasn’t good at first
But now i cuss all the time
Shit dammit fuck
I already made my pirate flag
It’s so good I’ll show you it
If you want to join my crew
You gotta make a pirate name
Like
Salty Briner
Pudd
No-Beard
The Mollusk
Petey
Two-Beard
Oldman
Siren-bait
Chum
Sunscreen
Landlubber
Pickle
Three-Beard
Flapjack from Cartoon Network
Seadog
Foggy
Captain Jack Sparrow
Blue
Wharf
Young Shelldon
Krill Jones
Squidbelly
Doc
Skipper
Flipper
Dipper
Ripper
Nine-Beard
The Face
Mad Dog
Sea Legs
Sea Arms
Sea Hips
Barnacle Bill
Cannonface
The Fly
Sharkfoot
Tsunami Sue
Eel boy
Lobster Legs
Sushi
Guppy
Scaly Jim
Stinky
Low Tide Larry
Scumsucker
Fishkisser
Uncle
Stormtemper Sal
Fifteen-Beard
Waterlungs
Harpoon Joe
Sunburn Sam
Pirate [Your Name]
Gull
Hermann the Merman
Mister Pibb
Dinghy Dan
Plank
Or something like that
Then we set sail for the high seas
We’re gonna get us some treasure
We’re gonna bury it on an island
We’re gonna draw maps
And mark the treasure with an X
We’re gonna send messages in bottles
Chop stuff up with swords
Face down the mighty Kraken
Get awful lonesome out on the seas
Hold each other as we sing our shanties
Drink Grog
Find out what grog is
And drink it
And we won’t get scurvy
Because i packed oranges
Vitamin D
I think that prevents scurvy
If not
Well then that’s a learning experience
The world needs pirates
And i think these be them
It’s back above freezing
Tepid thirty five
So the snow should be melting
And it is except the big pile
On the edge of every parking lot
It’s been snow so long
It forgot how to be water
That’s why it’s so foggy lately
It forgot water goes on the ground
So it’s flying around pretending
Hoping nobody notices
It forgot what water does
I left my damn book at my desk
So no reading tonight
I had fun with my coworkers
Drank three free beers
Reconsidered my planned exit
If only for a brief moment
There is good in all people
And i know this
It’s one of my favorite things
Everyone is easy to love
If you look at them for long enough
But i want to be doing something else
So I’ll still quit when it’s time
Im feeling bad because
I think I’m gonna break the general strike
I forgot to buy toilet paper
And i am fully out
I can’t even tell if people are participating
But i wanted to do something
I wish that i did more
All the time i worry about the world
But i don’t spend much time
Trying to help
Gonna start volunteering locally
Maybe join some kind of organization
I wish it paid to be good and kind
Instead it just pays to make money
And if you want to be good and kind
You gotta find a loophole
Where it makes money too
Or do it someplace else
I’m riding the same train now
Same car same seat
That i was on yesterday home from work
I know because the graffiti
I don’t think that’s happened before
Not so close together
There’s something to that
I wish i had my book
I wanted to read more
By this weekend
My brothers coming to visit
And he already read it
He’s good at reading
Came to it later in life
Now he’s a big time reader
I look up to him
Just as much as i look over
Counting all our differences
Value neutral
I gotta do it my way
That’s the thing I’ve found
If I’m gonna do it
I gotta do it my way
Well here’s my stop
Check back in later
Much love
From me to you
Xoxo
Slept in today
Said I’d get a drink after work
So i didn’t get in early
I got on the 6:30 train
Instead of the 6:00 train
And i read my book
Which I’ve been meaning to do
I get to the end of my chapter
And slam it shut
Pretty girl across the train
Looks over and smiles
Then she does it again
Maybe ten times she does this
And i curl my finger around
The canvas strap of my bag
And i sheepishly return the smile
She just keeps on looking
I ought to make something of it
But this has never happened to me
So i look away
And when we get off at the same stop
We walk in silence
The same direction
Until we split
Disappearing after a few seconds
Into the thick morning fog
I stare wistfully into the lights shining
Through the translucent air
And i wonder what i should’ve done
The goose steps into the melting snow
Leaving a perfect goosefoot imprint
Like me it is feathered and beaked
And like me it remembers summer
The other side of the shining sun
Feet cooling off in the water
When everything is yellow or blue
It can feel almost permanent
Like the air never cooled
Like the snow never melted
Just here waiting for us to catch up
Me and the other geese
Every year on December 1st
This planet is in the same place
Relative to our motherstar Sol
December 1st sits still in that spot
Year after year as we pass through it
And in the summer as June starts
You can feel it out there looming
Across the other side of the sun
Like grief in the back of your mind
It is always always there
In the warmth there is cold
In the dark there is light
Fly north fly south
The snow is melting
And if you step on it with bare feet
You can leave a mark there
A perfect goosefoot impression
Waiting for you
Til you come around again
Said I’d go play
At the open mic tonight
Then i ate and got lazy
Didn’t want to go this week
So what do i do
I flip a coin
A coin has two sides
One side means one thing
The other means the other
Take this out of my hands
Up into the air
Slap down o
