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⬅️ Previous capture (2024-05-10)
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Yes, starting this in December 28th, not waiting until the next year :)
I need to do better at sleeping hours, amount of food, and keeping my desk clean.
The first one is self-explanatory. I need to sleep better so I get to focus more at work and honestly, in general. I am (slighty) past 40 years old, and it becomes a necessity to take care of those basic things you neglected in years past with no consequences...
Another habit that needs to improve is the amount of food I am eating, which has been a life-long struggle of mine. A combination of my impulsive nature and being raised to used food to express love, the fact that was I was unemployed for a while didn't help with this at all.
Now that things are more stable, I feel like I don't have an excuse to let certain behaviours continue...
These two are tied by another good habit that I have trouble being consistent with, and that is meditation. See above, I am/was a very impulsive person, and mindfulness has been a great tool to clear my head and find focus. It also helps me manage the emotions that lead to anxiety.
Today my day was going as scattered as usual, but I forced myself to sit down and do just 5 minutes of breathing exercise. Now I am typing this, which I meant to do for the last 4 days. Coincidence? Self fullfillying prophecy? A real brain effect? Does it matter, if it does help me get things done??? (Yes a real, studied brain effect, and no, doesn't matter).
The last item in the title sounds like a simple thing, but as I brought up in a past post: simple doesn't mean easy, and the simplests things tend to have the most effect.
After moving (more on that later...) I still have a bunch of pending paperwork and little things to do in my desk. Just like with eating and sleeping, it is about time I get to work on those, with life getting on track again (what does that even mean, LMAO). And that pile of pending things is certainly in detriment of doing other things when I get into the office. The cycle is kind of funny:
1. Head downstairs to, say, work in some personal code, or pay bills.
2. See pile of things to do, and think "I should really be doing that instead"
3. Escape the pile of things by playing video games, getting lost on reddit, etc.
4. End the night comes around, and I didn't work on the pile of things, nor what I really wanted, and also now it is too late and I am going to bed at 1am.
Even after identifying this cycle, breaking it has been hard. And yesterday, right past midnight, I figured enough is enough and habits change "now".
What seemed at the time like an epic full of drama, turned out to be a short period...looking back at it now. At the time, August-October felt like a life time. There were internal challenges (how much of my sense of self is tied to providing for the family/being a developer), external (savings drying up, market slow, whether to uproot the family) and struggle with interviewing, which isn't my forte...and it all came to head when I received an employment offer that implied relocating from Denver to New York City.
I moved forward with it, and here I am. Here WE are.
The new company is also quite different from the last few ones, and I hope to make this a long-time affair. That's what I thought about my last employment, and I ended up fired from the company right as they declared bankruptcy...but just like last time, I will do my part and let everything out of my control just be.
Moving was yet another stressful period. I am happy with the move, don't get me wrong. I didn't realize how much I missed city life...I suspected, when we visited Buenos Aires. Denver was OK, and I take with me two life-long friendships that I am extremely grateful for. But being in NYC (technically, Jersey City) makes me feel right at home.
Another interesting side effect of moving has been the decluttering that came with it. Even if we all felt we didn't have that many belongings, turns out we did. Plus some furniture doesn't have a use or place in the new (slighty smaller) house.
All in all, that's a lot of things to look back at...so much has changed since the end of June to today. So much to reflect on...or so much to let go of...
(typed 12:50:49 PM~01:26:55 PM)