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The fact that I was bullied throughout my childhood, culminating in my teens at boarding school had made me chronically shy and lacking in self-esteem did not help matters either.
And yet, in my 40s and 50s, I seem to be undergoing a renaissance; an 'Indian Summer'. All this after surviving so many potentially life threatening situations. This has
occurred, unexpectedly, since I became a fully-fledged international man. So, what gives? Here is my analysis of the situation.
After a brutal marriage which even had consequences leading me to the brink of suicide and liver failure (ultimately it matters not how you go; dead is dead), one consequence of
somehow surviving this ordeal is that I intend, after deciding irrevocably and finally to go on living, the horrendous living costs of the UK and its brutal family law lead me to
seek pastures new and, in response to this, I have become a truly international man.
Now my few family care little for this (they are behind the times; my mother in particular believes that the UK is the place to be - and that the Conservative party says or does
is good; she is brainwashed and has little life experience). However, I am a 'modern 21st century man from a 19th century family' as one of my early students put it - and given
the state of the country, the dreadful living costs, the CMS trying to take my pay and now - one of my worst nightmares is happening; my mother having to give away much of my
inheritance to pay for her old age care - I have enough. Besides, I know well the fate of 40+ divorced men in the UK. They will probably live a lonely, miserable and impoverished
life until they one day die alone. I have worked in hospitals and know many terrible stories.
So, I plan to not only modernise the family and it's future, I plan to withdraw the entire family line and future out of the UK. I am at the end of my tether with the way the UK
is being run - I will not go into this here; it is well documented elsewhere and then - in my situation - there is the family law nightmare and the CMS too which made me homeless
once.
gemini://dfdn.info/justice for details of my campaign.
Now, not wanting to go to pastures new on my own I put out feelers to see if there was any hope of finding someone to start a new life with. More in hope than expectation. And
yet, if, like me, you are British, divorced, and over 40 (50 now in my own case), and in real doubt that you will ever find happiness again, I have some advice. Forget the UK.
It turns out that if you are wealthy (unlikely after divorce in the UK); you will have a choice of gold diggers; if not, the best you can hope for is a drug addict - nobody else
will even look at you. And you could do better in life than this!
And indeed I often say to people that in the UK there are divorced men, and there are wealthy men - but there are no divorced, wealthy men. See why here:
The Child maintenance service can cause homelessness, destitution and suicide
UK divorce law at the time of my own divorce in 2017
And how I plan a campaign... after I leave the UK forever
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Since I went international, my fortunes have changed beyond recognition. And why? The reasons why ladies overseas in their 30s - or even their 20s - chose an old man like me over a younger, wealthier local man are unclear. The jury are still out on this at time of writing. One thing is clear, I am known for my open mindedness, knowledge of, and acceptance for, other cultures, and this definitely helps. But before you go any further, be aware of one pitfall. A serious one. Now, I am fortunate to have had past training which, among other things, helps me spot a romance scam. But read the below thoroughly before we proceed any further!
And a word of warning for anyone trying their luck with ME. I have had training in previous emplyment which allows me to determine whether I am being lied to. Even (though with more difficulty) if I cannot see the person. I have a reputation for taking a very dim view of such people, and for having a ruthless streak to my charactor. You are being watched and have been warned.
What to Know About Romance Scams
I seem to attract foreign women much more, but can anyone suggest any possible reasons? I've simply been baffled by this - however am not complaining given my plans to leave the UK anyhow. But I am far more curious and am seeking feedback here! I was wondering if any readers experiences this? I have asked many friends but none of them seem to experience this so my quest to understand is far from over!
I recently, before I came to China turned 50 and have dated women on rare occasions during my twenties. I spent most of my twenties with a woman older than me, dual British and Amarican nationality (the UK recognises this but the USA does not). Until I was 32 and then caught her lying about wanting to start a family - at a time she was pushing 40 and I was becoming desperate.
Given my father talking about wills, and my not being maried to her (I never wanted to marry into a family with nightmare relatives) and not having children it sadly drove me to my former wife who seemed to be my salvation at first - but turned into a brutal gold digger and I will not talk here about how this ended for me; the story is set out in full in my book which I will publish when I have left the UK permanently!
On the few occasions I have tried approaching anyone I met with no luck at all. I went away with damaged self-esteem and with more questions than answers. Besides, I don't get a lot of interest from women in the UK - and never have done so at any age or time. Anyway I am not young anymore and not exactly brad Pitt looking but am well groomed (I feel scruffy if I do not shave every day and besides, I am making a deliberate effort to look younger than my true age, hence the reason I am clean shaven, I dye my hair to hide the grey and have never smoked, which counts in my favour - and try to look after myself since I stopped drinking). I am also trying to make a post-apocyptic relaunch of my career - and given age discrimination, looking younger is vital here too. I think it is fair to say that the few in my life thus far came about accidently. They sometimes approach me first (this is exceptionally rare - but is has happened on a few well isolated occasions).
I am just confused that I struggle to get a passing glance from anyone in my home country but - an unexpected consequence of going international is that I get MUCH more interest from women overseas. But why should this be? There must be some people who have similar findings, and I would be interested for them to share their experiences. I am happy with this though and it certainly makes for a preferable alternative to sharing the fate of so many British men in my position - who will remain - and will one day, die - alone and often in poverty too, so am not complaining! :)
And much to my surprise, they can actually be young enough to be able to, and wanting to, start a family of their own. I am wanting to start a new family - though it has been said that I am brave to seek to do this at my age, I am a fighter not a quitter. So long as they are sufficiently mature (I am *NOT* interested in anyone who has a mental age of 13 who thinks life is is one huge joke!); and understand that they will one day have to look after an old man and then be widowed, then this is fine by me.
One final observation is that in many places the local men 'do not care for women' and that means that, increadably, at my age, and after all I have gone through, I am faced by a level playing field. And I belive I have identified somewhere I actually stand a chance career wise too and which has low living costs.
My advice for others in this situation: Forget the UK, seek pastures new. Do not make the same mistake that my mother wants me to make and stay in the UK. If you are reading this, chances are your own life is not going so well. I am open to your questions; you can email me here:
The definition of insanity is to keep repeating the same thing over and over, and expecting to get a different result.
Albert Einstein