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I'm chuckling (at this point (see below)) - and please don't take this personally, i.e. about you and/or your choices in life, because it's just some goofy thing that came to mind that led to my smiling - because while staring at the word 'lawyer', the phrase "infantryman of Satan" came to mind.... :-)
I don't know for sure, but I suspect that came to mind from deep-rooted - and mostly successfully sublimated - hatred engendered by witnessing the behavior of my ex-wife's lawyer in divorce court what is now a quarter century ago.
I've honestly never witnessed behavior more vile.
I best stop typing now before what was once chuckling degenerates into statements at *least* as vile as that <deleted description of that lawyer ending in "...piece of shit">....
<composes "self">
Okay. It's going to be okay, ~inquiry. Just... okay... breathe... you've got this... the bad person is gone... you've moved on... <exhales>
On the flip side, my lawyer in that fiasco was a delight to interact with. We're talking some of the most fun-ly clever banter I've ever experienced. And you should have seen/heard us laughing nearly to tears when he reminded me "Don't forget you're paying for this time, ~inquiry!"
Unfortunately your experience is far from unique. Whether her lawyer was actually inappropriate or anything I obviously don’t know, but the fact that it’s hard to tell is, IMO, part of the problem. What the solution is remains unclear to me...not necessarily in your case, of course, but civic education in the U.S. is often very poor.
The news doesn’t help, and legal journalism can be as problematic as science journalism.
And don’t get me started on how much damage shows like *Law and Order* do...