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I don’t know how I made it home. I don’t remember driving.
There she is, though, I don’t know how or why I deserve her. Maybe I don’t, maybe we’re stuck together purely by chance. I feel her satin gown lowering next to me, her soft touch on my forehead, I don’t open my eyes because I don’t want to see her or anything in the world, it’s enough to merely feel her presence in the timeless vacuum.
She presses a cold washcloth to my forehead, applies an ice cube to numb the pain. There’s nothing procedural about it, these are her basic instincts, built up gradually over years of training and conditioning, as much a part of her as her own breath, which condenses on my brow after a healing kiss. It’s quiet now, even the pendulum of the clock has stopped, maybe it’s run out of batteries or maybe she removed them. Either way, the silence of the tomb permeates all.
I raise my eyelids, realize she’s applied some sort of bandages, a thin layer of gauze. Images are blurry, and I decide it’ll be better to shut them, seal them off. The blindfold will do what it needs to. My neural pathways set to work repairing themselves, recovering from the trauma, overcoming the stress with a long, well-deserved period of rest. I am made aware of my own mortal coil, my frailty and limitations as a naked ape. Just as well.
Just as well, I repeat over again, a mantra, that no matter what ambition I hold the world remains indifferent, the Earth does not care for what I want, and in its own beautiful way it goes on spinning, 365 days a year, in its endless orbit, and will continue on like that long after I’m lowered into the indifferent ground and the final rest approaches.
Now, though, a period of recovery sets in, and I relax because relaxation is the only option left at my disposal, I ignore everything, block it out, cordon the demands off and descend into a state of ongoing catatonic slumber, assured that this will pass and eventually I’ll wake up and the sun will be shining, and there will still be a world I can return to.
I sleep for a week straight.