💾 Archived View for brachycera.diptera.casa › gemlog › Cringe-will-never-die.gmi captured on 2024-08-24 at 23:44:23. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-04-26)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
16.04.23
The term "cringe", as I assume anyone reading this is aware, has in recent years shifted meaning. While the dictionary definition is something along the lines of "recoiling in fear or disgust" the specific meaning we use online could be described simply as secondhand embarrassment.
About 5 years ago "cringe compilations" were a big thing. These contained "cringy" videos or posts for people to "cringe at".
Generally people cringe at those who act in a way that would make them embarrassed, usually that makes them feel uncomfortable but many also feel joy - partly in the way that we laugh when we are uncomfrotable to relieve tension, and partly out of "Schadenfreude", which is one of those German words that the English speaking world is too lazy to translate. Seeing harm come to others can be fun, maybe if you don't like that person or even just because the way in which they injured or embarrassed themselves was funny, perhaps you can even relate to their misery. Clip shows like "America's funniest home videos" (or what we had here in Germany: "Upps! Die Pannenshow") were popular way before the internet came to appreciate the humor in cringyness.
In the past 2 or 3 years people have been claiming that "Cringe Culture is dead". I don't think this can ever be true. "Cringe Culture" predates the term cringe and it will long outlive it; secondhand embarrassment as a psychological response is deeply engrained in us. Our evolutionary perk was community, being rejected by our community and surviving alone would surely be a death sentence. What happens when we "cringe" at someone is that we imagine the embarrassment we would feel in their situation, we know that we would never act this way and therefore we are socially superior to them. Anything that is "cringe" deviates from our understanding of social norms. "Cringe Culture" is not dead, those who claim that it is have simply adjusted their social values to be more open to those that are different - this is not true for everyone.
However there are certain things that 10 years ago or even 5 years ago would have been considered unacceptable and embarrassing which are now more widely accepted and less "cringe worthy". Cringe always exists in the context of your social circle and personal beliefs. If you exist in a community with more conservative values, you might still be allowed to laugh at trans people or people that "act overly gay". In wider society you might get shit for that.
Deviation from the norm is the core principle of cringe. Strange interests? Cringe. Aims to please? Cringe. Self confident? Cringe. Genuine joy at life? Cringe. To feel secondhand embarrassment we need to know what's embarrassing from personal experience. Cringing inherently taps into our own insecurities. I am better than you because I know not to embarrass myself like this. I have already learned to censor myself in a way that is socially acceptable. It's natural. And it's sad. More than that, it's dangerous.
If cringe were just harmless fun, people wouldn't be so annoying about "killing" it. Cringing is punching down. Laughter and public bullying is not the end of it. Some people feel so strongly that it becomes genuine hatred.
"Kill all furries" was a popular sentiment and while you could make an argument that "it's just a joke" that's a pretty fucked up joke to make and there is definitely some real hatred and dehumanisation involved here. Perhaps some people find the thought of being in their shoes and being rejected as harshly as they reject them so unbearable that their only response can be hatred.
Another popular sentiment, offline, is that "bullying works". Weird people need to be forced to behave. We all need to make sacrifices so the status quo and our society can remain intact. If I had to learn it so do you.
This logic puts ever-changing, made up rules over human reality and is therefore bullshit. Some people cannot help being different. An autistic person that does not understand social rules won't suddenly become the master of social interaction because you torture them, they will just become miserable and better at hiding. The same goes for any flavour of marginalized person.
Letting your disgust at anything that is different win isn't just "rude" or "ruining someone's day", it can have a real impact on politics and laws. Progress is not a continuous movement, any law can be rewritten and any right can be taken away under the right government. There have been atrocious developments regarding trans rights in the US and UK in recent years and the state of Iowa is already considering banning gay marriage.
Even those who can adjust themselves should not be expected to do so. So furries make you kind of uncomfortable? Well just suck it up. You are, I assume, a grown up person and you need to learn to live with things that you don't love. Cringe at them all you like, it is natural. But don't let your emotions control your actions, use your rational mind. Are they actually actively harming anyone? Is there any reason why dressing up like a fluffy anthorpomorphic dog should not be allowed? Recognize your emotions and don't feel bad for having them but realize that just because a reaction is natural it is not automatically moral.
The harsh reality is that we all need to censor ourselves. As much as I'd love to walk around like a clown all day every day there are real life consequences that go beyond "will my peers like me". Visibly defying the norm can heavily limit job opportunities or even make one a target of violence. Giving in to the fear response of seeing someone who acts or looks weird and advocating that making fun of them is cool and okay only makes things more dangerous for them.
It's pretty entitled to think the whole world should adjust to what you like or don't like. We are no longer in high school. I honestly don't want to spend my days obsessing over whether I am cool or not like I'm 15.
The world would not only be boring if everyone acted un-cringy, it would also be miserable. Life is short and it's all you get, don't waste it worrying whether or not the things you like are cringe. Some people will always think they are.
Iowa proposes to ban gay marriage (March 2023)