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Fireworks, nationalism, and hope
I am broadly anti-fireworks. More pets go missing on July fourth every year than on any other day. They are stressful for soldiers and other people with PTSD. They start fires and cause injuries.
I am broadly anti-fireworks, but we go watch the firework shows every year. This year we planned to go see four shows in four nights.
1. BASEBALL STADIUM, OUR HOUSE
On the 1st, we planned to watch from our home, because we can see the fireworks over the baseball stadium from the corner of our street, next to the high school.
We were hanging out watching something on TV, and I stepped out on the front porch a little after nine to see if I could hear anything. I could. We rushed down to the corner and caught the last couple minutes of the show.
2. BASEBALL STADIUM, FRIEND'S HOUSE
On the 2nd, we went and got some Thai food with some friends.
We sat on the patio, and saw a very minor altercation between two motorists trying to cross the intersection. The instigator was a young fella in a grotesquely large pickup truck. He pulled into the restaurant parking lot next to our patio and saw us gawking and for some reason assumed a sympathetic audience, and was kind of like, "That guy, am I right?" and he called the other driver a slur. One of our party called him out on it. "We don't use that word in the year 2022." And they guy was kind of unimpressed with that. He went inside and threw back a shot at the bar while he was waiting for his takeout. We paid and ran away before he came back out to avoid potential further altercation.
My friends live above the ballpark, and have a rooftop patio. Fairly ideal viewing location.
That night, the show started much later. A little after 10. We were all full of food and drinks, and were having a hard time staying up. But we enjoyed them once they started. And then we went straight home and to bed.
3. CIVIC CENTER
On the 3rd, there is an Independence Day Eve celebration every year at the City and County Building. There is a symphony orchestra that plays in front of the building. And there is a light show: the building itself turns all different colors. And the fireworks are slow and thoughtful, carefully choreographed to the music.
We biked down to civic center, and the lawns were packed, so we found a little nook on a side street with great view and watched from there.
4. SUNDIALS OVER SPORTS ARENAS
On the 4th, the self-proclaimed biggest fireworks show in the state happens at the sports arena north of here.
We went to another friends' house for the traditional American meal of burgers and fries.
Our friends moved here, both to the state and also to this neighborhood, just 3 - 4 months ago. A neighbor told them that the park by their house is one of the highest points in the city. (I quickly duck-ducked-go this fact, and the park did not appear on any lists of the highest points in the city. Fake news.) We were all visiting and having fun as the time approached to leave for the show, and it started raining a little bit, so we decided to wait and just watch from the hilltop park.
We walked up to the park, which is just around the corner from the house, and it became painfully obvious that this was indeed not one of the highest points in the city. Nonetheless, we had a pretty good view through the trees of a fairly large show presumably happening at the country club down the way, and of several other shows happening in the distance.
Much too late, we found that the ideal viewing location was by the large sundial at the other end of the park. Several dozen other neighbors were all already gathered around there.
It was after dark, so the sundial was shut off.
We decided to go to the local neighborhood Independence Day parade.
I'm pretty sure America doesn't deserve a celebration this year. I lag pretty far behind the queer, BIPOC, and other marginalized communities in realizing that America doesn't care about its people. And that any good we've done is because the people fought the government tooth and nail for it.
I don't see how one can look at our current situation and feel pride, or even contentment. And so I felt nervous about being in a crowd, among people who are largely both white and also nationalists.
The emcee announced the start of the parade. They said that in the wake of juneteenth, and in the wake of pride, we obviously have a long way to go. And that this parade is to celebrate community, and the things that we do like about our country. But that we have a lot of work to do.
And a young woman came out and sang the Black national anthem, and then the Star Spangled Banner. Which I guess by default is the white national anthem?
And the parade started with two banners, one of which said, 'Nobody is free until we all are free,' and the other of which said, 'Do good, be good'.
And I felt a little bit better.
And the rest of the parade was small and cute and adorable and it felt like we were in a small town, and it was cozy, and by the end I felt really happy about it all, and like a part of a community, and I felt proud about that.
I recently discovered that Nick Cave has an "Ask Me Anything" style write-in Q&A blog over at theredhandfiles.com
On the topic of cynicism, he calls it "the most common and easy of evils".
https://www.theredhandfiles.com/do-you-still-believe-in-us/
It is a lazy way to feel, passive and destructive.
Hope, by contrast, is difficult and virtuous. It is active and affirmative.
Which is a message I need to hear.
I can feel cynicism creeping around and coloring the edges of my own frustration and disappointment right now. And I don't like the version of me that waits for me down at the end of that path. For my own sake, and for the sake of the people I love, I don't want to be that person.
And so I need to put in the work. To cultivate hope through acts of kindness and love.
One of the most profound lessons that Yoga has taught me is that you are never entitled to the fruit of your labor, to the outcome of your work.
There is only the work.
The practice.
To walk the path forward, one must let go of attachment, and just start doing the work, with no expectation of outcome or reward.
It makes an insurmountable task much less daunting when you sidestep the idea of actually accomplishing it, but instead only focus on just working at it with care and dedication.
And in that spirit, I will work at filling myself and my community and my country with love and hope.
Let's get to work, America.
:wq
Thoughts? Comments? Let me know at dozens@tilde.team
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title: Thoughts On The Fourth Of July In The Year 2022 author: dozens <dozens@tilde.team> url: gemini://tilde.town/~dozens/gemlog/13.gmi created: 2022-02-24T00:00:00-06:00 updated: 2022-02-24T00:00:00-07:00 tags: diary patriotism