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feeling pretty, *existential* recently.
ive been so hung up on this question of "what is the internet for"
i've compiled a list
however despite being terrible at two thirds of these things, there is no better alterntative
so i am left to in turn cope and try my best to engage with the technology as healthily as possible
despite a lot of my peers using instagram, like, religiously.
i know i'm not the only one that opposes using popular social solutions
the algorithms will wear on you
its exhuasting giving space in my head to things like that
but ive traded it for all this other 'alt' tech stuff
i try to be as reasonable as possible
im a massive linux user now, forever certainly.
i hosted a mastodon server for less than a year before breaking it (oops)
ive been writing on this blog for a decent chunk of time, almost two years
i have no idea if anyone has ever read anything i've written
but i really did enjoy writing them
ive been pretty burnt out on socializing recently
but ive been doing it, out of compulsion, or habit, or because its what i outta be doing
but people keep telling me i need to learn to spend time with myself and i know they're all right
yet the second im alone i compulsivley seek out company
almost always through the internet ..
either messaging friends who r local or hitting fedi
i went out to a bar once, just to be social
as an alternative to the internet
it was awkward and kinda boring more than anything but im super glad i did
i go out and socialize a lot but usually with others
maybe i should put myself in situations where i dont know anybody more often
gemini is where i meditate
my ink and quill
its just writing, in longer form
free formed