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Inuqiry, yes, I landed on roughly the same 3 beliefs (to put it that way):
1) "it's better to be lucky than good" (I put heavy-handed stock in this, and glad to hear the phrase again, as it puts me in a good mindset. Also the "motto" for the movie Matchpoint by Woody Allen, which was a go-to for me in similar years of solo-yet-coming-around-to-colleague reform(s) in life)
2) try, try again (at establishing relationships) Yes, of course (I mean, is there ever such a staunch, solo, caveman isolationist that *doesn't* have the primordial instinct to *bond* if/when the opportunity arises?
3) transcend the need for relationships (yes, 100% with this in many ways, and for this method, it's an "to each their own" way of things.
I was brought up by myself, no real guidance from parents, older siblings ignored me, and I them. But, I was a very socially active (almost sociopathic) friend to neighbors in the neighborhood, and there were many my age to socialize with. I can be, and am, GOOD at talking, joking, socializing, being pleasant to be around. Really very casual. But longterm comfort around others, and them me, are generally required. Transcending the NEED for relationships, or just not caring about "deep" bonds definitely serves me well. Also, I prefer my alone time and independence above all else. So +1 to not NEEDING people around in order to have happiness. In fact, true calm and peace within me happens when I am (mostly) alone for prolonged periods of time. So, yea.
Now, as in Right Now (and a decision I made the other day) I am more or less getting/going to an offline/analog approach to life. If it can't yield a biological interaction/response, just forgo any type of desire for it. A funny joke to laugh with someone about? Ok, that's worth "going for". But online things that are terrific conversation, stimulating chats, that is a thing to REALLY LIKE and to ENJOY but rarely boils down to a NEED in and of itself. So, I have things boiled down to a simple method - just use the phone when needed (rarely), keep online things (shopping, browsing) utilitarian: (confirming a prescription, the status of a package being shipped, ordering "life things" online), and the laptop likewise, though the *always possible* convo in IRC in the CLI as well as checking e-mail/Midnight posts (really, IRC is always going on the laptop, why else use my laptop? lol!). The larger laptop is basically just one big television dongle - a gaming laptop connected to the Vizio to browse the video files and almost nothing else. In fact, in Airplane Mode, so no "onlining" there. A Field Notes notebook for the reminders and appts, etc., and in life, daily, just Clubhouse, work, cook, smoke/chat with friends, keep up with keeping up. Fairly decent.
Upward, onward, and may we all do our best :)
My hats off to your resilience.
Said another way: I pity the bear fool! (mild movie reference)