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30/07/24
listening to: bring it on - nick cave & the bad seeds
this post was written for the
July 2024 Artocalypse Blog Carnival
two major ways The Digital influenced my art:
1. finding fandom communities as in-built audiences and subject matter guaranteed to land well. lots of opportunity for experimenting. didn't need to have "anything to say" or to make it profound (not that it can't be, there's just less pressure). love for the source material and other creators overpowered the dissatisfaction with being "not skilled enough" and got me to work. so, it did more than art school, i guess!
2. giving in and buying an ipad a few years back. i held off for so long, not wanting to feed the apple beast and succumb to its over-hyped "design" and planned obsolescence. but the ability to make fully finished art pieces - not just sketches - anywhere, anytime, lowered the barrier to entry (to start art-ing, what with the executive functions flailing). however i feel, i have all my tools available to me at all times... (that combined with point 1 was a true art renaissance for me).
currently i'm equally comfortable in digital and traditional, although i haven't had an inspiring fandom in ages. instead i've been trying to find my own "voice". ironically the digital now carries a sort of pressure to make finished work. i actually prefer to work in sketchbooks - no pressure to finish anything, and what would i even do with a finished piece? where would i keep them? sketchbooks are easier to manage.
my art is for me. the process is what enchants me. the results might or might not "work" and showing it is secondary, tertiary - somewhere down there in the ranking of importance. i rarely present my art. i'm conscious and wary of waste, including digital waste. using up resources pointlessly - the electricity, water, dangerously mined materials for computer components.
art isn't pointless of course, but ideally i'd just have people flip through my sketchbooks. i post flip-throughs for free on itch.io as the second-best option, if you can't be here and just browse my shelves.
this aversion to waste/attraction to using things up completely makes for interesting work, and is also a kind of hack - i don't need to try and find something to say. i say what i'm able to say with what i find. often i end up doing something very satisfying in just my journal or planner, because "it's just scraps - why would i use them in my Proper Sketchbook?" just goes to show there's value in all the bits. i like the challenge of making it work, or just sorting through garbage and finding things with potential. feels like a treasure hunt, peak autistic activity.
so i'm leaning into what feels good, and editing feels good. why would i come up with things when there are already so many things there to re-arrange and re-assemble? originally i have tried to share as much as possible online, but the constant fighting with the scanner drivers for linux, with color fidelity, with websites resizing the work etc - all of that did not feel good. so i just don't do it. i'll occasionally take a photo and post to social media, or send something to my friends. otherwise i'm at peace with my art being contained within my nearest surroundings. like a comfortable extension of me, among which i get to live.
so i guess... digital gave me a lot. but i'm afraid i won't be giving a lot back.
