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I was having this conversation with some friends recently and got me thinking about what it means to be supportive.
I was talking to two very close friends of mine, both women in their mid-twenties. They were discussing all the different plastic surgery procedures they were thinking of getting starting at thirty years old.
I was frankly shocked that they were thinking about starting to undergo these sorts of irreversible procedures at such an early age. When one of my friends voiced that they wanted a nosejob, I was shocked and said as much, though politely of course. I asked them why they thought they needed a nosejob and a number of other procedures and also brought up the fact that surgery is surgery and the decision to go under the knife is not something to be taken lightly.
The conversation continued a little while longer, when my other friend simply stated, "I think people should do whatever they want." I said I agreed but I thought it was important to have these discussions, especially among friends. My other friend just repeated the same line and we just moved on to other things.
However, that line has stuck with me. While I fundamentally believe the same thing, I also think that discussions like these are extremely important to have among friends and family. If someone you love brings up something that they're thinking of doing, I believe it's okay to talk about that decision.
Obviously discussions should be had respectfully and context is important. I just don't think carte blanche acceptance of all decisions is the way to go. If you can't trust your loved ones to be honest with you, then who do you turn to? Where else can you safely challenge or be challenged about life and life choices?
Fundamentally the decision is theirs and their alone. Support means more than just giving thumbs-up approval to anything and everything. I believe support also means giving people a safe space to explore, test, and challenge their own beliefs. Who better to bring up a life choice with than someone who can tell you why they don't think that's the right decision but will still be there with you every step of the way when you make it anyway.
This is all pretty rambly and not nearly as thorough as it could be, but getting it out into words felt good.