💾 Archived View for bugleague.flounder.online › stream4.gmi captured on 2024-08-18 at 17:23:10. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2024-07-08)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The little dog is scared
He cannot hold it in
His little pink body
So he raises his hackles
And he barks at the dark
He is so so scared
And he loves them so much
His Muriel and
To a lesser extent
His Eustace
He will face his fear
He will not let it stop him
Sooner die than let it get them
He is a hero
But he doesn’t feel like one
It doesn’t feel brave
To be scared all the time
But you can’t be brave without fear
Courage is about confronting fear
Making a deal with your cowardice
The churning of your stomach
Your hairs sticking up on end
He is a very scared dog
And he is a very brave dog
And when he comes in
And lies at the foot of the bed
After all he has been through
You hope he knows
He has done good
Courage the cowardly dog
Put it best
When he said
Aughb ah ah app ababa
Auorgh aur abloo blulelelebleahabp
Ooh ooh ahpaahbaababa
Everything feels like it’s moving
And i can’t reach the rail
I know I’m going to fall
I can feel it coming
It is not a good feeling
When this train comes to a stop
I am going to fall over
And everyone will see
Fuck
When i really get down to it
When i don’t hate
The thing that i am
I think of myself like an angel
A sweet little thing
In a world not made for
Sweet little things
I beat my wings
And i do not fly
Because of the constructions
Of gravity and biology
I think i believe in the soul
And i think my soul is good
Too good to be squandered
Not being sweet and kind
That’s the only thing
I’ve ever wanted to be
I think it’s worthwhile
To strive to be an angel
A flying person with wings
A pure version of yourself
Not weighed down
By all of the weight
Of living in the world
It’s okay to be worried
It’s okay to be upset
If you are an angel
And you aren’t living
In Heaven where you belong
It’s okay to feel
It’s okay to be wrong
If you’ve been wronged yourself
Angels are from before
We messed it all up
Angels are from
The heart of god
God up in heaven
Made angels first
Before He learned
How to make people
Who can close their hearts
To the hardness of the world
Before us people
Went and invented being cruel
That’s what i think
When I’m being kind
There’s an angel
In the heart of every person
And it’s easier to reach
For some
Than it is for others
And thats okay
But you should try
If only to know
The Angel is there
There’s a mural of a bench
Painted on the wall
Right where someone
Would maybe like to sit
And I’ve seen people sitting there
On the paved ground
But it’s only 2D
Because maybe someone
Might try to sleep there
Fuck god damn it
It’s such a shame
They should put a bench there
So people can sit
Not just the painted ones
But the people that move
That live and love and move
Those are the people
That benches are for
I guess nothing will change
And no one will sit
But i know a good place
Where it could happen
I went to Saint Louis
And i fell in love again
With all those old streets
Then i came back to Chicago
And i fell in love again
With all these new ones
What about this
I find a job that will let me do it
And every other month
I move back and forth
Then i never have to leave
And i never have to leave
It would be weird
But it could work
It be easier than weekends
Easier than years
January in St. Louis
Feb in Chicago
And so on
And that would be my life
What’s wrong with that
What’s so bad about that
I can live a double life
I already know that’s true
Rent will be a fucking mess though
That’s my only problem
But with my massive intellect
I’m sure i can solve it
Couple years back
An ex girlfriend of mine
The main one at that time
Asked if i could pick her up
When she got to the airport
I can’t recall where she flew from
But I said that I would do it
I’ve always been good like that
In a pinch
So i drove to the cell phone lot
In the 2003 Volkswagen convertible
That i was tooling around in back then
It was a nice spring or summer day
It was warm out
And i had nowhere to be
I sat in my car and turned the music up
Waiting on her plane to land
When it did i pulled through
She got in the car and
Within a couple yards
Smoke started coming from the engine
I was a bit worried but
This had happened before
Enough times for me to keep my cool
I weaved through the traffic
Of all the other exes
Picking up their airplane riders
And made it back to the lot
Where i shut off the overheating engine
And popped the hood so it could cool
I had a couple joints in the console
And the top was down
So i played music from my phone speaker
And we caught up like exes do
Smoking and joking
And when i tried the engine again
It was immediately worse
So i called my dad
Who eventually showed up
Let me take her home in his car
And then i came back to help
I sort of forgot about all that
It isn’t the sort of thing
I think about often
But when i put it all together
It sounds very romantic
Not in the “i love you” way
But in the way that
Life is full of these funny little moments
That make you smile
Between you and the people
You’ve come to be connected to
I came to pick her up from the airport
And instead my car caught on fire
And all in all
That was a pretty good day
Around the end of the night
I’ll go and hug all my friends
And anyone i met that night
And with them in my arms
I’ll whisper
I love you i love you i love you
I’ll step towards the door and wave
I’ll say I’ll see you again so soon
Text me and we’ll get together
Then I’ll turn with a smile
And leave without a word
Then I’ll drive the speed limit home
Singing along to my music
Tuck myself into bed
And be happy with my night
That’s the Irish goodbye
It’s a classic
There are times
I think about death
Crazy right
But that’s what you do
When you are alive
There are times
I think about death
And i wish it were here
Black void feeling nothing
Big clouded expanse
Something else
Other than living
And there are times
I think about death
And i know
I must escape it
So i set to work
I know it isn’t fair
The tax for life is death
But I’m putting it off
After a few mangled prototypes
I figured it out
A way to keep my memories
To slot them into
The new body
My offspring
My son
Erased to make space for me
Too scared to miss out
To let something else live
I went back to baby
And i lived another life
And having done that
Having reached the end
Of another life
I still wasn’t ready
So i hopped down again
To the next branch
Of my family tree
And i continued to do so
Remembering it all
As the world changed around me
As i grew taller and shorter
My body waxed and waned
So far from the original one
Which set me off
On this wicked quest
I watched governments collapse
I saw cities crumble
I witnessed the end and the start
So many times
But i couldn’t ever resist
The need to know
What would happen next
So i renewed my lease
Each generation
Felt like mere minutes to me
I watched the people change
Shrink over time
Hunching their backs
Until their hands
Returned to the ground
Where they had rested
Before we went upright
They crawled on the ground
Until the crawl became slither
The light disappeared form their eyes
And mine as well
Some lizard thing
Which rolls in the dirt
And has no higher ambition
But still i stuck it out
Just in case
Giant winged beasts
Would come and prey on us
And our population dwindled
We could not travel far or fast
And each generation
Our little arms shriveled
A little bit more
I just rolled and squirmed
For millennia
I hid under the dirt
I felt next to nothing
Then nothing at all
Until a pointed beak
Picked at my torso
Swallowed me up
And i thought this is it
I’m finally dying
But i dissolved in the acid
Of the stomach of the bird
And i still remembered
I dropped onto the ground
As a coiled brown turd
And still i remembered
The rain washed me into the soil
And still i remembered
I sat there for an eon
Taken up into roots
Through the trunk
To the leaves
And back to the soil each fall
Until the forest died
The soil dried up
And i waited for tectonic plates
To subduct me into
The molten mantle
Where i stayed
Until the sun blew up
And then i flew out
Into the great black void
With stunning velocity
But never collided
With anything
Just the cold black dark
Unending forever
I had to guess
This must be like death
But i would never find out
Last night sat all around the table
Two by two by two and one
I wished you had been there
Well not exactly you anymore
But you are the closest shape
My memory has to offer
Of anyone to fill the empty chair
Sitting by my side
And if it was you sitting there
It wouldn’t be me sitting here
That’s the thing of it
It’d be someone in my shape
Pretending to be me
Small enough to fit inside your shadow
Which i am glad to say
Falls on other faces now
But the chair lies empty
And begs me remember
So i dreamt of you again
And again it wasn’t you
But it sure did look like you
I knew it wasn’t you
Because the shape
Came behind me
Slouched in the excluded corner
Wrapped its arms around me
And made me feel welcome
It invited me in and accepted me
So i knew i was dreaming
But at least it was a nice one
It’s a strange feeling
That comes from time to time
It isn’t you I’m missing
I’ve learned that lesson by now
But whatever it is
It reminds me of you
Summer vacation woo hoo
But i don’t get to
Go to the pool
Or camp with my friends
Dad got this idea
For a fun vacation
All summer long he says
We’re going on a road trip
Pangea, we’re finally going
The roads cut across
The supercontinent
Like chain link fence
We’re gonna stop
To see the worlds biggest thimble
It’s not that far
We’ll stay for the weekend
With Great Uncle Dimetrodon
Who fought in the Permian Wars
And has the scars to show for it
All the way down to his bones
We can play I spy in the car
I spy a wide expanse
Full of flora and fauna
Foreign and familiar to me
Yeah again
I spy another broken down barn
I spy the same strip mall
I swear we passed an hour ago
I spy something green
I spy a hill
Which will become a mountain
Which will erupt and become a lake
I spy a dirty casino
Out of place in the daylight
When we get to the coast
We will splish and splash
Dad will get sunburned
Because he never reapplies
He’ll be bright red
Cursing when he gets in the car
Because he didn’t count on
All the fossils from the fossil fuels
Still being alive
So gas is expensive
At least he drives a hybrid
After a while it will blend together
With nor borders
No state lines to cross
All the middle is mostly desert
But you have to cross through
To get to the cooler stuff
Like the jungles and coasts
We’ll take lots of pictures
Of us with our arms around each other
Standing in front of a big rock
Or with a local celebrity
Dad will try to dab
In one of our photos
He’ll be dabbing in the back
And we will cringe
After the first couple days
We’ll really start to get
On each others nerves
We’ll bicker and fight
And miss our friends back home
But after the summer is over
After a couple million years
In August when school starts
It will be a really good memory
I’ve had a rough couple weeks
Been sanded down a lot
Against the rough edge
Of the last few weeks
Now I’m all smooth
Weirdly smooth
That’s probably fine
I’m not finite
I won’t be ground down to nothing
I’ll grow and be sanded
Over and again
Approximating a consistent form
I’m going home
And i don’t know how i feel
Because I’m all smooth
Smoother than the last time
I’m starting to think
Maybe
You’re supposed to cry
On your birthday
If not now when
Crying is a great way
To get older
Against my better judgement
I watched the presidential debate
Now I’m thinking about
ELECTORAL POLITICS
Like i swore off of after last time
I’m dwelling in 2020
More than I’m comfortable with
The debate was bad
No shocker there
There’s a smell
An aura hanging
Looming even
Foreshadowing
That it is almost time
To pay the piper
To reap what was sown
Feels single digits now
Before we lesser evil ourselves
All the way to Evil World
This is the third election
Of my adult life
I think I’m right to be jaded
The temperature has not
Stopped rising
Since the day i first looked
At the thermometer
I’ve got no other
Frame of reference
All that stuff
Balanced precariously
Inches from the blades
Of the whirring fan
Smells like shit
Can’t help feeling
It’s almost time
For it to hit the fan
Marlboro red is a real bad dude
He’s got a short fuse and a hair trigger
He burns hot and fast
So don’t piss him off
He wears big baggy t shirts
But you can see his muscles
Pulsing underneath
Ready to go at a moment notice
He smells ripe
Like he has been sweating
Not that long ago
He slouches his broad shoulders
And leans against the wall
Like he owns the place
The blue spirit is calmer
He takes his time
In arriving at the point
He decided to make
Ten minutes ago
He’s thoughtful and calculated
He’s quiet until he has something
He thinks is worth saying
His long hair blows in the wind
When he talks he uses words
That don’t seem to fit his mouth
Got a vocabulary older than he is
He’d watch the birds fly by
All afternoon if he could
He smells like dirt
And he sits on the curb
Whistling to himself
Buy a damn box
From the home depot
Tape the damn box
On the damn bottom
Fill the damn box
Tape the damn box
Then find the one sharpie
Floating around here somewhere
And try to remember
What the hell
Is in the damn box
And label it
Compartmentalize
Everything you own
Everything you are
Must fit in a damn box
And be labelled
Everything else must go
If it can’t be boxed and labeled
It must be thrown out
Buy a damn box
Of cigarettes
Take up smoking again
Empty the damn box
One inhale at a time
To try and cool off
Mouth gross
Hands smell bad
And back to boxing
Every damn thing
All week long
Pick up all the damn boxes
Carry them out
Of the box you live in
Put them in a box on wheels
Drive the box to another box
Take the damn boxes
Put them in the other box
Open the damn boxes
Take all the crap out
Then sit around and wait
To box all the crap again
Yup
It’s that time again
I’ve become depressed and stressed
And can’t figure out why
Until i remember
It’s the same reason as last time
They wouldn’t fill my medication
And i got too stressed out
To schedule another appointment
To repeat myself for the fifth time
That i would like the refill
That i was promised at our last meeting
When you said
I wouldn’t have to meet
And could just pick up the prescription
So i went off my meds
Got out of the habit
And now im getting set off
By smaller things
Once again
Yippee
Can’t handle this until
After my move
But it’s on the chopping block
To go back to normal
Home is where the heart is
And I’ve stamped my heart all over
Home is where you take
A big fat shit and clog the toilet
And then it overflows
And floods the basement
And your dad helps you
Clean it all up
And then home smells like shit
And you have to get all new towels
Home is where you hide
When you did something bad
Home is where your dog lives
Home is where your stuff is
Home is where you live
On the second floor
Then the basement
Then the third floor twice
Then the first floor twice
Home is a square with a triangle roof
Home is where the umpire says
One of two things
SAFE or
YEEEEERRRRRR OOUUTT
Home is the button
My old phone used to have
Home is a warm old memory
Of somewhere you don’t belong
Anymore
Home is smoke detectors going off
Home is lonely and crowded
Home is where the heart is
And my heart is in my chest
In turtle years I’m a baby
I’m not even fully grown
So i think it’s fine
To go popping my head
In and out of my shell
There is no rush
Slow and steady
And all that
I don’t really think
Any of my little poems
About climate change
Are very good
Or say anything meaningful
I just have to purge the thought
But then in the purging
I have invited it back in
I don’t really think
This is a Me Problem
The problem is bottomless
So it makes sense
That the worry is as well
The Just Stop Oil group
Keeps doing stuff
And every time
There’s so many opinions
And i don’t really give a guck
About cornstarch on Stonehenge
Or soup on a painting
I don’t really even care
If they are, as alleged
Funded by oil companies
The response speaks to me
It reminds me
That all of these people
Are so capable of outrage
So ready to condemn
So ready to criticize
But we are somehow
(And i have my theories
About the How)
Incapable of pointing the outrage
At the source of the problem
Incapable of agreeing
On how it is we should be angry
How it is we should be stopping
The thing that is killing us
So we yell at people
For yelling in the wrong way
And it’s like my half assed poems
It scratches the itch
A little bit
Makes you feel like
You’ve said something
You’ve touched the needle
But it is nothing
It is like soup on an old painting
It doesn’t really matter at all
Art is meant to be destroyed
Monuments are meant to be defaced
All of that is just speech
Words in the air
It isn’t action
Which is what
(I think)
Many of us
Are so desperate for
Saving the world
Is as easy as
Stopping destroying it
But the means of destruction
Are so knotted by design
That you can’t just pull on them
You either have to
Carefully feel around
Wedge a finger in a loop
And unwind it little by little
Or start cutting
Cutting the rope is illegal
Dangerous and fast and lethal
The rope is also
A safety net
It’s holding everything together
I’m losing my metaphor here but
Basically i think it’s good
When they put orange paint
On Stonehenge
Because it reminds me
I’m not the only one who’s angry
I’m not the only one who wishes
We were doing more than orange paint
Attacking more than big rocks
I don’t know what should be done
But i know if i don’t think about it
It will be like it’s not there
There’s orange paint in my head
And it has to go somewhere
Even sloppily and misplaced
I need to see it with my eyes
To remember it is real
It’s getting hotter
Locally
In pockets
And in this pocket
About as big as Earf
It’s getting hotter
Because we’re burning stuff
Using energy to do things
And the burnt stuff
Clouds the air
And traps heat in
So it’s getting hotter
Every time stuff happens
Stuff which requires burning
It gets a little hotter
I read about
Wet bulb temperature
And now i think about it
All the time
It can get so hot
And so humid
At the same time
That your sweat won’t evaporate
Which is the part of sweating
That cools you off
You just keep getting hotter
And then you die
There’s nothing you can do
About the getting hotter
There’s nothing you can do
About the burning of stuff
There’s nothing you can do
Outside this little pocket
All of the heat will dissipate
Flash and fizzle out
Until the universe is nothing but
Infinitely equally distant
Particles of nothing
No heat at all
That’s scary too
But the first death you die
Is going to be a hot one
Then after that
The heat will die
And that’s when you really die
When the flame goes out
One year in Chicago
Basically at the end of the month
I think mostly I’ve done good
I’ve pushed myself a lot
Making friends is hard
And i cut myself slack on it
But i sort of figured at least by now
I’d have someone to go do things with
Mostly i just have incidentals
People who know me but
Not really friends
I’m grateful for all my friends back home
And i worry i don’t acknowledge that enough
But Chicago is so cool
And i just feel so aware a lot of the time
How much cooler it would be
If i was sharing it with people
Which is why i love having visitors
My mom and sisters came last weekend
Brother and his wife this weekend
Two friends coming next weekend
It’s good
I know i must be doing something wrong
I must be bad at some part of it
Because people like me
I’m polite and I’m funny and I’m nice
But I’m not good at something
Meeting and introduction
Inviting and sustaining
There’s a part that I’m missing
Which is fine really
It’s just a muscle I’d like to build
I think other people
Would have been better at this
But God help me
I keep trying
And i think that’s my biggest accomplishment
That’s been the moral of my last year
That I’m someone who keeps trying
I’m stubborn like that
I started packing for real tonight
And it’s weird
More emotionless than i thought
I guess my move last year
Was extra taxing because
I was moving so far
And was so uncertain
Now I’ve got all these experiences
Under my belt
Just wishing i was doing more sharing
Looking at the year ahead
It’s fuzzy
I have vague ideas
Changes ahead of course
But i dont know when or how yet
Im coming back to St. Louis
For a while at least
Not with my tail tucked between my legs
But because i think its something
That i need to do
As much as i needed to move here
For a bit
Now that I’ve done it
I know that it’s easy
It’s something i can handle
So i don’t feel like
I’m giving up exactly
I just think things
Aren’t as linear as i once envisioned
I want to be around my good friends
I want to be there for my sister
I want to be there for my mom
I want to try and help my dad
I want to be home again
I want to see my dog
I think those are good reasons
I am young and have no major plans
I am good at loving multiple things
I love Saint Louis
I love Chicago
I love the Midwest baby
The heartland
I still gotta figure out what the deal is
But I’ll be back for some time
Maybe I’ll just move back and forth
Every two years
Like an insane person
Or I’ll get a fully remote job
And two apartments
And I’ll just go back and forth
On a whim whenever i want
Probably not that one
But I’m just spitballing
I like the cicadas
My coworker doesn’t
She’s terrified of them
So much that it’s annoying
Yeah it’s a big bug but
It don’t bite
All they do is sing loud
And fly around
For maybe a month
And then they die
They make it hard to forget
That life is all around you
That everything cycles
That all the while you didn’t hear them
They were crawling around
As nymphs by the roots
Unseen underfoot
I find their song compelling
And i will miss it
When they pause before refraining
Standing barefoot on the fence
Blunt wood digging into callous-less heels
Tippy tippy toes
Up to the branch with the big ones
The purple berries hanging delicately
Which fall if nudged at all
Grabbing them by tiny handful
And shoving into tiny mouth
Purple hands and face
Stained by the sweet mulberry
And when they reach all they can
Move onto the red
Too impatient to let them ripen
The bitter tastes good too
Until you slip off the fence post
Land hard on your back
Knocking the wind out
Gasping for air
With all the fallen berries in the lawn
Fermenting on the ground
And it happens every summer
Until you’re tall enough
You don’t need to stand on the fence
At the recommendation of a friend
I’ve been listening to healing frequencies
Started a bit as a joke
If just pick the one with the wildest title
“FULL CELLULAR REGENERATION
KILL ALL BAD DNA PURE SLEEP ANGEL
FREQUENCY TO HEAL BLOOD 777 Hz”
But i have been finding it calming
Gives me restful sleep
With weird dreams
But i like weird dreams
It’s like free tv
I’ve also been leaning into coincidence
Feeling out the world like
A marble in a big Rube Goldberg machine
Random chance and small decisions
Lead to cathartic happenstance
Case in point
Today i took a nap
Then woke up and wanted to exercise
Went on a long walk yesterday
So i decided to take my bike
So i didn’t bring my wallet
Hopped on my bike
And rode for a bit
Until i almost spun out
Back tire flat again
Found a pump and inflated it
Flat again in two minutes
So i walk my bike
To the bike shop
I haven’t been to in a while
Two nice girls are working
And we joke around while they’re
Checking out my bike
This is really good for me
I love joking around
And I’ve been lonely again lately
And I’m so sick
Of talking to engineers
But i don’t have my wallet
So i cant pay
So i say ill run home
While they put on a new tire
Which i do
And i time it perfectly
The second they texted me it’s ready
I walk in the door
Get my bike
Bike girl 1 tells me it was an easy fix
Bike girl 2 says that’s a really good tire
Shouldn’t happen again
I say thank you thank you thank you
And i go down the street
To 711
Because i saw a guy with a slurpee
And it looked so good
Then I’m walking my bike
Slurping away
And this is no exaggeration
The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen
Is walking opposite me
I caught her eye
And i sheepishly looked away
Then she’s standing two feet away
Smiling right at my face
Looking me over
Little brief interaction
Then I’m smiling all the way home
It don’t take much
Not sure what my point here is
Other than to remind myself
That when i do things
Things happen
And if i had just gone on napping
I would not be smiling now
Thinking of beautiful women
And my friends at the bike shop
I’m going chaos mode again
Creatively I’m working on
So many different projects
That i flip between frantically
And im so busy otherwise
Idk if anything is going to get done
But it still feels good
I’m working on a comic
Which I’m actually really happy with
I’ve been doing all this insane world building
That will mostly just sit in the background
Of some silly little comics
And it is fun to do
I’m working on drafting a personal zine
Timeline on this is sketchy but
I’d like it to be a summer release
We shall see we shall see
I’m back working on another bitsy game
Basically it’s the same one again
But better
I like thinking of all art as a work in progress
This is why i struggle to share mine
This is just a rough draft
Of the true thing
Which is impossible to capture
It is an impression
A three dimensional shadow
Of a four dimensional cube
In other words
I feel like i can do this idea better
So I’m doing it again
Same with every song i write
I think i can do a little better
Before i say it’s ready
I’m also supposed to be packing
Have to move at the end of the month
A lot going on and my attention is so split
I’m sure I’ve been forgetting things
But i don’t have time to
Remember what they are
Work sucks and its a big part
Of why I’ve been so fractured
But i have my healing frequencies
And the power of coincidence
So i think i will weather the chaos
And try to take it easy in July
I cannot be killed
By mechanical means
Nor devious device
Nor malevolent machine
You may not strike me down
With armed automaton
Remorseless robots
Or even dreadful droids
If you want me dead
You’re gonna have to get dirty
Your hands
You’re gonna have to dirty your hands
Otherwise it just won’t take
I’ll stand here unarmored
And if you want to kill me
You’ll have to rip me apart
You’ll have to be strong
Enough to rip my heart out
Hold it in your hand
And take it in your mouth
You’re gonna have to chew
Through the grisly scar tissue
And when you’re burping
You’ll remember
You are what you eat
And what you ate was me
And you’ll have to kill yourself
And that won’t be easy
Because you can’t be killed
By any machine
Oh those damn motherfuckers
Steve joms Tim apple cook fuckers
They put Siri on my phone
They put Chad gbt on my phone
They put 5 g on it
They want to take it all away
All the little momentary joys
Not knowing something
And figuring it out
Thinking about it
Telling someone
Don’t worry about it
You don’t need to pay me back
Forgetting stuff
Getting lost
They want to take it all away from me
And keep it to themselves
So that i am
Efficient
So that i am
Productive
So that i never have to think
Never have to wonder
Never have to choose
They will ruin me
If i don’t become so angry
That no technology can fix me
If i don’t dig my heels in
Deeper than the bedrock
You can pull me to the future
With your iPhone iOS 666
Bullshit talking phone
Making shit up
Talking to me all the time
Trying to get me to talk back
Trying to get me to give a fuck
Trying to get me to use my phone more
Remembering all my birthdays
Remembering all my texts
Knowing what my face looks like
Knowing my thumbprint
Remembering my moms voice for me
Remembering everything
So that i am just a lifeless body
Hollowed out to be piloted
By profit maximizing algorithms
NOOOOOOOOO
No fuckingway will that happen to me
No not to me
I’m so FUCKINGPISSED
at iphonw
You can’t make me
Whatever you want
You can’t make me
I’ll get rid of it
All my games and apps
All the good parts
If you ruin it for me
I’ll fucking do it
You can’t stop me
Yet
You can’t stop me yet
Wait hold up
They got porn on here
They got ai porn
With a robot girl who loves me
Hmmmmmmmmm maybe i keep it
Slept weird
Strange feeling of despair
That i can’t put my finger on
Everything’s fine otherwise
But for the despair
Think I’ll take a nap
Sleep it over
My koi are an invasive species
The kudzu weed is an invasive species
And yet i think both deserve to live
From the USGS:
An invasive species is an introduced, nonnative organism that begins to spread or expand its range from the site of its original introduction and that has the potential to cause harm to the environment, the economy, or to human health.
One: nonnative
How long must you live somewhere
Before you tell people
That is where you are from?
Two: spread or expand its range
We must all grow
Or else shrink
Standing in the gap between
Other growing clusters
Three: harm to the environment
What will be considered harm
In a changing ecosystem?
An invasive species may dominate
And establish a new equilibrium
Which allows for new life to flourish
Harm is hard to quantify
When competition is the name of the game
Four: the economy
[REDACTED]
Five: or to human health
Are we ourselves not a species
Are we not a part of the environment
Are we not causing harm
Are we not proliferating
Spreading across the surface of the earth
Far beyond the area
Of our introduction
Are we not invasive?
He stands 8 foot something
Unmovable
Some say
Unlovable
Some say
He sounds like
Thud thud thud
Every sound he makes
Sounds like thud
He wears big black boots
He rolls his giant carharts
So you can see more
Of the big black boots
And they go thud thud
Down every street he walks
He’s a dense blunt instrument
His fat hands like catchers mitts
He could hold hot coals
Right in his palm
And not even wince
He doesn’t even work
Because nobody asked him
If he wanted a job
So he just walks around
Thud thud thud
All too scared to talk to him
Poor guy
I bet he could use a friend
But it won’t be me
That guy is too big
Too strong probably
He doesn’t fit in
Through the door
Or around here generally
And it isn’t fair
But it’s nobody’s job
To make a place for him
It’s nobody’s job
To make an exception
Go thud somewhere else
That’s what they mutter
Under their collective breath
And it’s a shame
It’s a real damn shame
I’m so pissed off about work again
They put so many damn satellites up
You can’t see the stars no more
And all the smashed up ones
Have created a debris field
Too dense to survive in a rocket
We are stuck here
And it’s getting hotter
So hot and so humid
That when you sweat
The sweat can’t evaporate
And you just keep getting hotter
Until you die
And that goes for you
And all the plants and animals
And it’s flooding
And it’s storming
And everyone’s yelling at you
Saying this was all your fault
When all you did
The simple thing that you did
Was push a big red button
Labeled
MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE
AND TRAP US HERE FOREVER
What’s the big deal
Calm down
Prison is good
Otherwise why would we have them
We should be fine
As long as nobody pushes
The bigger redder button
Labeled
KEEP DOING IT
They bred a new breed of dog
With a permanently furrowed brow
You can always see the whites of its eyes
It looks around the room
Looking for something it can’t find
Remembering something it forgot
They made a dog born worried
Its first breath and its last
Will be a heavy sigh
Worn out by something
Larger than the mind of a dog
It still loves playing catch
But when the ball rolls under the couch
It will cry and cry and cry
They made a worried kind of dog
A dog that tries its best
But never feels adequate
A dog that sits and stays
And shakes and barks
But can’t ever relax
Not for long enough to count
Why did they do this
I don’t know
Dog breeding is pretty weird
It’s kind of just eugenics
But grandfathered in
To acceptable society
Because we don’t think
A dog has a soul
Or something like that
It’s kind of scary
The limits of what we could do
When we feel entitled
When we become
Owners
Life as property
It’s strange
I’m not saying let all the dogs loose
(Who let the dogs out)
But it’s kind of strange
And i think
Worth interrogating
They let me live forever
But i said i didn’t want it
So i took every extra year
From the rest of my unlimited life
And distributed it evenly
Across all living things
From now until the last one dies
I may have only bought you
A couple measly seconds
But i wanted to be fair
So make it count
Please make it count
I’m going nuts mode
I’m going ham
I’m going hard
I’m feeling sort of
Manic
And good at everything
I’m so good at my job
That they tripled my workload
And I’m still kind of killing it
Whenever this limitless energy expends
I will doubtlessly be fucked
But for now
To me and my employer
I am infinite
I am productivity
I am inexhaustible
Can’t wait to burn out
I have got stuff to say
Which i am mapping out
About gender and my place in it
But one thing that trips me up
Is how to say it at least
To a prospective audience
With a shallower understanding
Of what gender really is
I think i mostly like the way i dress
I think i mostly like my voice
I think i fuck with masculinity some
Like i think guns and knives are cool
Like i love drinking beer
Like i already know
How to make the boys laugh
And other stuff too i guess
A lot of the pieces
Of what we call a man
Are pieces i actually like
But i don’t wanna be a man
I don’t want to be understood that way
As much as i shift my own understanding
I can see myself as anything
With my awesome mind
That’s only half the battle
The gender battle
So I’m moving stuff around
Trying to be understood different
I think I’m everything
But i must contend
With a world that doesn’t see that
As readily as i do
If i was born a woman
I could just do all of the man stuff
And everyone would say
That’s cool and hot actually
You’re one of the boys
And i could do girl stuff too
When i want to
I could do my hair and makeup
And look nice and not feel weird
I could broaden my wardrobe
Even if i love my staples
And all of these things are so possible
But in order to get there
The way i want to
I think i gotta do
A weird fold
A performance of authenticity
An artifice of self
I don’t feel like I’m hiding
Or that I’ve ever been untrue
I just think i have some work to do
To have others see me
The way I’d like
It’d be simpler a lot of other ways
But I’m stubborn and particular
And i think about things too much
So this is how i look at it
Right now it is
I got more to say
But that’s all for now
Right now it is
I gotta look up all the details
About what this thing really is
But this evening
I rode my bike for five hours
Twenty plus miles
With hundreds of people
All around Chicago
Places I’ve never been before
Smiling and waving
Blocking off traffic
Keeping each other safe
It was so damn cool
And i remember
I am so good at excluding myself
That it feels amazing
When i am part of something
Part of the pack
Part of the group
Part of the activity
It makes me feel special
Because I’ve overcome
Whatever it is in me
That always leaves me out
I had so much fun riding my bike
I am work out now
But i think they do this
The big one
Last Friday of every month
So I’m gonna keep doing it
Keep being a part of something
Very cool
Sunglasses emoji
I’m actually thriving at work right now
I’m not thriving
While I’m at work
But at work, i am thriving
I’m good at it
I’m being helpful
My boss complimented me today
On how conscientious i am
I am training the new intern
I am completing everyone’s projects
I am successful at this
Shame it doesn’t make me feel good
If i was the sort
To value my my work performance
I bet I’d feel great now
Instead that’s just
Something that i do
Huh
Went off my meds again
Not on purpose but because
They won’t fill my prescription again
For no fucking reason
So I’m off again
More anxious than usual
Kind of loosey goosey
Who care
I think I’m different when the sun shines
I think I’m a different person
Like the equinox hits
And i slap hands tag team
Into my own body
Into my own brain
Where i had been all winter
But a different one
It’s the seasonal depression yeah
But it’s more than that
My voice is different
My memories are different
My self is different
Not altogether better
Just wholly changed somehow
I guess like any other plant
I change with the seasons
Im going to see this movie again this weekend. I’ve taken a lot of time to gather my thoughts. This movie really sat with me and I am seeing that my friends have also seen this movie now (which i would love to discuss later) and i figured I’d write out my thoughts as I am bored at work.
First, this is a personal thing, but I find it really boring and trite when a movies whole premise is about unreality or paranoia about if what you’re seeing is real or not. It simply isn’t interesting to me because it is all fake, it is a movie.
HOWEVER, i think this sense of uncertainty was used effectively with purpose in this movie to center you with the protagonist and get you in the right place emotionally. The doubt and denial runs right to the core of what this movie is about, and is not used as a cheap tack-on to imply depth, as i have seen it done in other movies.
I loved all of the visual effects and the creatures and makeup and world of the pink opaque left me wanting more, which again is what i feel the movie wanted to make me feel.
Basically i felt like this movie had my number the whole time. A lot of times ill watch a movie and feel smugly smart like “i know what you’re doing… here’s what will happen next” but here i felt i was being lead around and constantly saying “oh” right as things happened. The bit that Owen says about being empty inside killed me. There was a lot for me to resonate with this character, and even where i didn’t see myself, it was so easy for me to understand.
By the time we get to the scene at the bar i sort of have a feeling for where things are, or could be going, which i think the movie knows, because the rest of the movie takes that expectation, the easy option of a happy ending, a coming of age story, catharsis and resolution, and refuses. Then it doubles down, then it triples down, then it quadruples down. And this is the whole point of the movie. To me it seems that the ending of the movie must exist, and you work backwards from that ending to get the rest. It left me feeling so frustrated and upset in a way no other movie ever has. The movie is simultaneously doing the same thing to you as its protagonist is doing to himself. And it is tragic and it doesn’t feel good. It refuses a way out, there is a confusing loss of time and decay of pacing, a discomfort and horror like ive never really felt watching a movie. Ultimately i find it to be an extremely hopeful movie. Its message: There is still time… OR ELSE. Which is so powerful to me and i can’t wait to watch it again.
I’m turning 25
In a bit
And i have thoughts about it
Never thought much
About my age
But now I’m old enough
I feel i ought to
I think i feel that old
Quarter of a century
I was thinking for a bit
I didn’t feel ready
But I’ve got stuff cooking
I’m growing like always
And i like the trajectory
I think I’m on track
I think I’m fucked
In a lot of ways
I’m worried over the future
But that’s nothing new
I think I’ve curated
On the things that are important
I’ve gotten good at love
I am good at loving things
No matter what it is
I am good at feeling love
I think that’s bigger
Than anything else
Even when i feel small
I know my heart is big
I think that’ll carry me
All the way to the next
I see myself becoming strange
As all do as they age
I need to care more for my body
And I’m working on it
All the things I’m worried over
I’m working on it
I just started smoking again
Can’t really say why
Other than
It’s more vague
Than other ways
To hurt myself
And it relaxes me
That’s a big goal of mine
To relax
There’s stuff in the way
But i have plans for it
I think im going to make it
And amongst all the noise
That’s a better outlook
Than I’ve had before
There were times
I couldn’t imagine 25
Now i seem to
Have my heart set on living
Which is powerful
I think I’m going to make it
From here on into the future
Whatever it brings
Be it 25 or 26
Or a greater number
I feel capable
I feel skilled
I feel deserving
Of the grace afforded
To little old me
I feel an acceleration
A pressing need to grow
In order to learn
In order to teach
In order to live
I think i can do it all
Regardless of the
Moment to moment
Anxiety and weirdness
I feel capable of
Achieving a hindsight
Where i can say
I am proud of myself
And i didn’t waste my time
There are pieces I’m missing
There are things i need to do
But i know i have it in me
Not all the time now
But right now
I’m feeling good
About my life
And what I’m gonna get up to
The next quarter century
I’ve got a good base
And I’ve repotted myself
With room for roots
And branches and leaves
Whatever else goes on
I think i can make something of this
And this feeling
It feels like getting away with something
Good
There was a ladybug in the office
I saw it Monday and again Tuesday
I let it crawl on my hand
I filled up my water bottle
And dripped some drops on the desk
She was thirsty
I gathered some sugar
Leaves from a plant
And a smaller dead bug
To see if that was stuff
That a ladybug would eat
But mostly she was just thirsty
On my lunch break
I scooped her up on a notecard
And stuck it in my pocket
I brought her out to the courtyard
And left her by the flowers
And i felt good about this
An office is a lifeless place
And though i may not save myself
I was able to save this ladybug
This past year i watched Ben 10
It’s a Cartoon Network show
About a ten year old boy named Ben
Who can turn into 10 aliens
And he goes across the country
In an RV with his grandpa and cousin
And he saves people and stuff
I hadn’t watched it since Sam died
We were obsessed with this show
We would watch every time we got together
Got all the toys and played with them
We would draw our own aliens
Mash them up together
I think at the core of our friendship
Was this show
All of our common interests
Could be funneled through Ben 10
We were probably 7 or 8
When it first aired
And then they made another series
When we were around 12 i think
And as we got older
We drifted and got weird
But there was always Ben 10
Always the way that it felt back then
I watched a movie a couple weeks ago
I Saw The TV Glow
(Which you should go see)
And it stirred something in me
Reminded me of myself
Made me think about Ben 10
Being little and getting obsessed
With pictures on the TV
So that when i remember Ben 10
I’m remembering more than that
When i watched it this year
I felt like i had two sets of eyes
And one of them was crying
Working
10 11 12 hour days again
And my headache is back
Never left
But it’s back again
And i can’t just
Tell my boss to fuck off
So I’m becoming angrier
Which is not healthy for me
Now i gotta stand on the train
Because i was at the office
From 6am to 6pm
And the train is full
I am so irritable
My coworker grabbed my shoulders
And looked at my phone
And i almost bit him
I almost had to put the dog down
I gotta quit my job
But i need money to live
And it’s so hard to job search
While you’re working 12 hour days
And you’re moving apartments
And paying for your sisters college
Registration fees
Because moneys tight again
Back home
And she’s freaking out
And the guy i emailed
About jobs
Won’t email me back
And I’m standing on the train
And i can’t stand still
And I’m getting angry
So if you saw me
You should know
Not to get too close
By my upper lip rescinding
To show my dull fangs
Which will draw blood nonetheless
If i don’t chill the fuck out soon
And that’s Tuesday this week
Love
I can see it in your face
Your fathers face
Just waiting til the wrinkles form
Til the hair grays and recedes
Like parabolic motion
We can sense where
A projectile will land
Based on its current trajectory
And foreknowledge of gravity
In other words
We can see the future
In outlines like topography
Not certain not fact
Not detailed events
Just general shape
And your eyes
Are shaped like your fathers
Unmarred by the feet of crows
Or any other corvid
But these birds are flying south
From north of wherever you are
And you best believe
They will find a place to land
Long as you’re still here
Someday you’ll reach up
And touch your face
The rough winkled skin
Will feel like your fathers
If he ever let anyone touch him
You’ll be weathered differently
By different winds and tides
But you’ll look like him
For better or worse
I bombed at the open mic
But I’m better now
If the road was a river
I am sure we’d have issues
With flooding and such
But consider this
You could walk along the water
All the way from the movie theater
To your apartment
In the cool shade of old trees
The crosswalks would be
Little bridges
The sidewalks lined with ferns
You would see all the people
You already see
But you’d also see more
Splashing in the river
Where the cars are now
You’d overhear them talking
About the same mundane things
And you’d also hear the birds
The constant flow of water
It would be the same place
But just with less concrete
And it would feel right
Like you’d been waiting on it
Instead of baking on asphalt
You’d be sheltered in a forest
If instead of this road
It was a river
Someone wrote in sharpie
Something on cardboard
Then it got all ripped
And folded up
And now it reads
EVERYTHING
SUPER
FOR GOD
So that’s what it means now
There’s a pair of shoes
Gray and dirty
Sitting in the bush
I have to imagine
Someone left them behind
Because one of those pairs
That hangs from the wire
Flew off and fell down
And they were really nice
So they took off their shoes
And swapped them up
For fancy shoes from the sky
There’s chicken bones
Littered up the stairs
And i guess someone ate good
Or a chicken grew new bones
And shed the old ones
To make room
For something stronger
I have to imagine
Because thats all i can do
I slipped on the bed
I hit my head
Knocked my tooth
Straight up the roof
Of my god damn mouth
My brother pushed me
I forgot that
He pushed me off
I used to let him
Do all the talking
It was easy
To say nothing
To be quiet
But one time
And i don’t even remember this
Somebody got too close
And i bit his finger
With my crooked teeth
And from then on
He called me Chomper
And he didn’t get too close
Now i speak for myself
Because my brother
Lives somewhere else
And when he speaks for me
He gets it wrong
So my mouth is used
Mostly now for talking
But if you get too close
You’d do well to remember
I still have teeth
And teeth are for biting
If i ever have to dress
Business casual again
I’m gonna do it
But i won’t be happy
Any room
I can’t be wearing
My new cargo pant jeans
I don’t wanna be in
Same as this
Any room a dog can’t go in
I don’t want to go there
But rooms with money in it
Often have rules
About how to act
And what to do
To get the money
And I’ve grown worried
I might need money later
When the table turns
When the weather changes
When it starts to shift
So i put on a two button
Short sleeve collared shirt
That makes me feel like
Someone i read about
Not someone i am
And i pick up an extra shift
At the money room
Save it for later
When i was younger
They used to ask me
And i loved answering
What would i want
If i could have a power
Not just a power
But a super power
And id talk through it
Saying at first i would think
The power to fly
But quickly I’d realize
That’s not all i want
I want to shapeshift
And i could be a bird
I could fly all i want
I could change my shape
Be a fish or a worm or anything
And i think now
Most of us anyhow
Possess this ability
To change our shape
Only it happens slow
And I’ve seen myself
Shifting in all kinds of ways
But lately more and more
Into this business casual shape
Which i don’t recognize as me
And i can say all i want
This is just for now
This is just to get by
But getting by
Does not include
Not feeling like yourself
I saw a movie last week
Which reminded me
That time is precious
And it is possible
To shift into a shape
A shape that cannot shift
And get stuck that way
So i am renewed
To change into myself
With purpose and urgency
And if i have to leave
The money room
To look like me
Then so be it
My dog isn’t even in there
And it’s not the only way
Just the quickest
Walking into a hotel
Right past the front desk
Telling those im with
To act like we already checked in
Standing in a courtyard
Milling about socializing
A Gary-like man
Muttering to me
Then speaking in French
To my conversation partner
I could tell he was talking shit
But i can’t speak French
Not even in dreams
So i tried to get someone
To translate for me
They all refused
So i fumed and woke
To my brother leaving
Slinking out the door
Early in the morning
Heading the Gary way
And i was mad at him for it
Then back to sleep
For more dreams
Of nothing in particular
When i encounter a new beast
I will either say hell yeah
Or i will react in fear
If i react with fear and disgust
I take a step back
I unlearn my biases
I work this beast into my worldview
I understand it as myself
I understand myself as it
I become the beast
And it becomes me
And then i say hell yeah
Watching monkey videos on YouTube
Or some such
I need to go to
A doctor
A dentist
A different doctor
A tattoo artist
A psychiatrist
A masseuse
And a barber
But i wish they’d come to me
And fix me up
Like a nascar pit team
Bzzt bzzzt bzzt
Then im back on the road
I have such a hard time
Scheduling
So i think this would be best
Yeah
Gary was here
But he fell off
So i wrote this
Here on the ledge
Above the canyon
On his behalf
Rest in peace
Gary my friend
I’m going this strange way
That i can’t really parse
It’s like walking backwards
Holding your arms behind you
And feeling around
For stuff to bump into
It’s like taking your shoes off
And walking through your house
At night with the lights off
Furniture where you don’t expect it
Like getting lost at a roundabout
Standing still and tripping
I didn’t think it’d be like this
When i thought about it earlier
Thought i was off the hook
But there’s more hooks than that
To get snagged and pulled on
There’s death over there
Run over in the alley
Getting eaten by flies
And that’s not something
You can sit around and wait on
You need to make busy
Find other stuff to do
While it sits in your stomach
Ready to waste you too
So I start doing pull ups
I watch the world move
Up and down and up and down
Hanging on the doorframe
At least I’m getting stronger
That’s all I can think now
At least I’m getting stronger
On this strange way I’m going
I’ve got a pact with the drummer
That I’m gonna bob my head
Down when she kicks it
And up in the pause between
I’m doing my best
To fall in love with the bassist
But somebody’s head
Is getting in the way
It’s hard in the prelude
Going to a show alone
But i love looking up at stage
I feel like
I’m doing what I'm supposed to
I bought two tickets
And forgot to invite anyone
Not that i had many options
But it would’ve been nice
Im getting pretty good at it
Going alone
I set a goal
To talk to two people
Other than the bartender
And not counting the bouncer
Who recognized me
From another bar i frequent
I think i managed four
That’s pretty good
I thought about
Riding my bike to the show
Couldn’t make up my mind
But was vindicated
In taking the bus
When i walked out the venue
Walked half a block
Then the rain came
So fucking much of it
Pouring
I was soaked in a minute
Stood completely drenched
At the bus station
Chatting with some guy
Got on the bus
And wondered why
I don’t take the bus that much
It’s pretty good actually
Better than taking forever
Walking or on a train
Going the wrong way
It was a good night
But i got shit to do tomorrow
So sweet dreams
Xoxo ttyl
Great bird
Screeching metal
Coming at you
Pick you up
To the top of the hill
Drop you on your head
And you go spilling down
Avalanching
Picking up dirt and bruises
Growing in diameter
Carving a path
Smooth mud to the bottom
Where the slope tapers
You start losing speed
Crashing through fences
Mailboxes and the like
Tumbling forward
Til you come to rest
Right were you started
As you were
Huh
There’s a joker in the deck
And nobody knows how to use it
Nobody here at the table
Knows any card games with jokers
I thought we got rid of it last time
But every time we shuffle
There he pops up again
Maybe we can learn
Or we can set it aside
Until inevitably it comes up again
It’s strange
Having jokers in the deck
Just something you deal with
From time to time
Of all the people in the world
All the faces and bodies there are
The one you had to get stuck with
Is the one we call
The Dud
The Dud is like warm water
It’s perfectly fine to drink
But if we’re being honest
It’s nobody’s favorite flavor
Nobody’s cup of tea
The Dud is where you live now
When you look in the mirror
You will see The Dud and sigh
It’s not beautiful or ugly
But it’s loathsome to the eye
The Dud is just a body
Bodies are like snowflakes
Yet there must be boring snowflakes
Worth melting down with salt
Somewhere in the blizzard
There must be a dud
The Dud is like a rainbow
Dependent on the weather
The angle that you’re looking
Position of the sun
The Dud is like a rainbow
Illusory and damp
The Dud is what we call it
When you don’t like yourself
You don’t like taking pictures
Don’t like buying clothes
Nothing you can help
You got a case of The Dud
The Dud is a condition
A mindset you can shake
Work out and get a haircut
Try out some new clothes
But after all your trying
You’ll always come back
To The Dud
You can take a horse to water
You can lift a cup to his lips
You can tilt his head back gently
You can run your hand along his throat
You can stroke his mane and whisper
Drink up you big thirsty horse
You can take a horse swimming
You can have a splash fight with him
You can get some in your eye
You can get upset when he keeps splashing
You can say stop it seriously
You can huff and puff and swim away
You can forgive the horse
You can smile at the horse
You can apologize to the horse
You can go back to how things were
You can swim until the sun sets
You can take the horse on a date
You can go to a fancy restaurant
You can watch him eat spaghetti
You can sit back and watch him
You can push your fork around your plate
You can say you aren’t that hungry
You can ask the horse about his day
You can laugh and laugh and laugh
You can go home with the horse
You can horse around in bed
You can wake up shirtless
You can turn to the horse
You can ask him what this means
You can sleep without an answer
You can fall in love with the horse
You can move in with the horse
You can get married on the beach
You can change your last name to Horse
You can settle in to domestic life
You can watch the horse get older
You can watch the flame go out
You can take a horse for granted
You can forget how much you need him
You can long for something different
You can be dismissive and withdrawn
You can come home after work
You can hardly speak a word
You can get mad for no reason
You can start yelling out of nowhere
You can ball your fists in anger
You can fall silent for a moment
You can cry and cry and cry
You can beg the horse for forgiveness
You can promise you’ll do better
You can come home to an empty house
You can lose yourself without him
You can fall down on your knees
You can fill yourself with liquor
You can cry yourself to sleep
You can take a horse to water
But you can not make him drink
I flew on a plane on earth day
And i didn’t have a window seat
So i closed my eyes to it
I needed to get home
From my trip to the city
One flight of many flights
Thoughtless in the clouds
I can’t help thinking
The earth is changing
And this is why
It worries me
So i close my eyes to it
This little pebble
Earf
It has not been like this long
It was lava
It was oceans
It was ice age
It was forests
It was one big island
Then for a little bit
It was my home
It was where everyone i know
Was born and died
It was the only place for me
And it is changing
It will be something else soon
And i don’t know what
Other than
It won’t be my home
Not the one i recognize
And that scares me
So i close my eyes to it
And fall asleep
On the plane
In the sky
On earth day
On behalf of bugleague
And the rest of
The Bugleague Foundation
We would like to
Sincerely apologize
To all French
For the statements made
By bugleague this morning
About how you suck
These statements
Do not represent the values
We try to uphold here
And were made hastily
In jest
But in poor taste
If you can find it
In your puny French hearts
To forgive us
We will do everything we can
To make this right
Moving forward
Thank you
And god bless
One problem i got
With the way people act
Online now
Is we moralize every opinion
“I hate marvel movies
Because they are ontologically evil
And represent ideas
That i am morally opposed to”
And that can be fun to do
“Im allowed to call people ugly
If they are right wing”
It allows you the high ground
While taking the low road
“This music sucks
Because the artist
Said something rude
About bisexuals”
But we are losing an art
The art of being a hater
Of hating for hates sake
I hate this
For no reason at all
I just have strong opinions
And i stand by them
That’s brave
That’s real
This is what i said to my brother
When he asked why
I hate the French
I do not know why
But i am distrustful
Of the French language
Their stupid French words
Their French attitudes
French tastes and smells
It is not for me
If i can help it
I avoid using French words
Even proper nouns
I can’t pronounce that shit
Nor do i want to
I would not go to France
I would not go to Quebec
These are places
I do not want to go to
And i don’t need a reason
I’m a hater
That’s something you can be
Its not that serious
Just something i thought
I