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This page will be updated as I further expand upon my ideas, change my mind and learn more.

Why I'm on the smallnet

I firmly believe that the antidote to our isolation is sharing. Sharing from the heart. Sharing what matters. I don't want to write to "do numbers". I don't want to sacrifice explorative, experimental writing, "thinking on paper" and fostering genuine connection through self exploration for the sake of marketability. Further to that I want to gatekeep myself a bit. I want to express myself without that awful gnawing feeling in my gut that comes with posting on the regular web for myriad reasons. I don't want to appeal to everybody, but I want to find my people. I can't do that if nobody knows I'm out here, so I'm here writing my brain into this little capsule to send out into gemspace!

I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism, space!

The internet has the potential to be a trial run at utopia. It's our greatest achievement to date. but we have a cultural brain poisoning from this economic system that you just can't get most people to even acknowledge exists. I dunno, I dunno, I think we could use internet communities as models for envisioning alternatives for society at large. I think that could be part of breaking capitalist conditioning. The botnet reinforces the dominant society's values and culture, and of course their economics.

Social media's other effects on mental health and self esteem are well documented. Curated personas and personalities and unrealistic expectations and worst of all, the fact that everyone wants you to feel bad so you'll buy something. I want a place where I can feel comfortable to be myself. I hope that you reading this also have such a place.

Things like character limits, the emphasis on getting your point out and spread as quickly as possible and as far as possible kills nuance and detail and contributes to the pervading forces of black and white all or nothing us vs them thinking. I wouldn't argue that there isn't room for short form content: slogans, memes etc. of course it can be useful, but the substance behind it needs more engagement and exploration. We just need more people, broader varieties of people, putting their thoughts out in good faith, and fewer people exploiting that vulnerability to bad ends.

This leads me to privacy and security. Balancing what I share and what I keep to myself has been a struggle. I either overshare or clam up entirely. Anything posted anywhere online no matter how out of the way it is, and that's something I bear in mind a lot. To that end I try to group my online presence into sectors- accounts and every other account linked to them- grouped by intended audience and who I want to exclude.

I'm mindful of my content insofar as I will try to avoid sharing any identifiable information. I will not link to any accounts which are compromised or known of by any known threats here. I want a safe place from the digital harassment I've faced online. I don't want to worry about an algorithm recommending my writing to someone who doesn't wish to see it.

Further to all of this I'm a wordy little shit. I feel bad about how much I talk so I've tried to shut up everywhere else and carve out this tiny sanctuary to be a playground for my mind. I want to put my ideas out into the world somewhere, but I want it to be safely away from the nonsense on the wider web.

DIY culture and tech literacy

I'm smashing two pretty broad categories together here, so bear with me as this is not intended to be exhaustive or authoritative. I think the more we're alienated from the means of production the more skills are lost. I like to have the knowledge and skills to cut out a lot of the fat off consumer culture. This is why I love fibre arts. I love being able to make my own garments. I love gadgetry, tinkering, and hacker culture, I love small space gardening, from-scratch cooking, ancient and historic technology, repairing, reusing, and recycling. Our digital age opens other avenues for self / community reliance (as opposed to relying on centres of power like the corporate botnet) in things like linux, open source and creative commons, gemini, community hosting, the fediverse, FTPs, and decentralised secure messaging. Further to this, it's a culture which encourages thinking and often relies on getting under the hood to make everything run smoothly.

I started thinking, why would I compromise on my values by using a product or software that I don't want to use when I have a perfectly good brain which is capable of coming up with a DIY solution to this problem. There are free and available resources to help me learn the necessary skills to get it done, and after that I'll have another tool in my creative arsenal, and I can share my solutions with others, which I plan to do here as development progresses. If that doesn't work, maybe someone else has made it already and posted their code or their thoughts on the matter?

This kind of thinking is good for your brain! Look for alternatives, develop problem solving skills, take things more slowly and deliberately. A side effect of this is often clawing back some attention span and imagination after those skills are coaxed into deterioration by the short snippy instant gratification addiction machines that make up the mainstream social media and entertainment monoliths.

Part 2: Get Weirder

Just in general. Bring more self-expression into your life, encourage others to do the same by embracing weirdness with open arms. We need to kill cringe culture. We need to break from the mindset that if something strikes us as odd or deviant, that it is somehow inappropriate or negative. I will not be beholden to concepts rooted in shame, oppressive forces of compelled conformity. What is "cringe" if not the discomfort that arises when you perceive that someone else should feel shame? This is a GOOD VIBES ONLY SPACE.

I advocate for deep introspection and critical examination of all the ways your nature is conditioned and by what forces. Where'd this thought / feeling come from? Who wants me to feel this way? who benefits and who is hurt by it? Is this acceptable or should I challenge and change it? This goes for the way we think of others just as much as it does about the ways in which we think of ourselves.

What's to be done?

In practical terms, disengage from things that don't serve your best interests. Be aware of who owns and has access to your information, research things before giving them your details and make use of the tools available, like virtual environments, password managers, email aliases, and searching for alternatives with open and transparent source code and development. Find things to spend your time on that don't have a negative impact on your wellbeing. Read and write and learn and share about your interests, and maybe you'll find community and a happier digital experience as a result.

Happy surfing! Stay weird!