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35 ‎[1] **the Laws of Agency For Betrothal** • 15 Paragraphs
A man may appoint an agent to betroth for him a woman, whether it is any woman or a specific woman, and the agent should say to her, “Behold you are betrothed to Ploni.” However if it is possible for him to betroth her in person it is forbidden to betroth her through an agent, unless he knows her, lest afterward he find in her something reprehensible and she becomes reprehensible to him. In any case even though he knows her, it is a *mitzvah* that he should betroth her in person if possible. ‎[2] The agent becomes a witness, therefore if he appointed two agents to betroth for him a woman no other witnesses are necessary: To what does this refer? When there is no denial of money, as for example he betrothes her with a *Shetar* or even with money and she acknowledges that she received it from him, but if she says that she did not receive it for the sake of betrothal, but instead for the sake of a deposit. However, if there is a denial of money, and she does say that she did not receive money from them (or a writ worth the equivalent of a *perutah*) (*Magid* *Mishnah*, Chapter 3) behold this is a doubtful betrothal. ‎[3] It is not necessary that witnesses be present when the man appoints an agent to betroth him a woman, only that the agent and the sender acknowledge this (this is not considered acknowledgement unless he acknowledges in the presence of witnesses as is the rule for an admission) (R. Isaac Ben Sheshet, paragraph 193). However, an agent of a woman, where she appoints an agent to accept betrothal, it is necessary that there be witnesses and there are those who say that also when a man appoints an agent you need witnesses. [Note: There are those who say even if a woman appoints an agent without witnesses we must be stringent (Tur in the name of R. Jacob Ben Asher) and if there are no witnesses to the betrothal and the woman and the agent say that she was betrothed properly, if another comes and betrothes her, she needs a bill of divorce (R. Isaac Ben Sheshet, Chapter 83). And if there are no witnesses to the matter and the sender denies that he appointed him as an agent there are those who say this is a doubtful betrothal (R. Mordechai Ben Hillel, *Halachot*, Chapter “*Haish* *Mekadesh*”) and there are those who say that she is not betrothed at all (R. Eliezer B. Joel Halevi and R. Judah Mintz) and this appears to be correct.] ‎[4] There is one authority who says that even if he did not appoint an agent explicitly, merely revealed his opinion that he desired a specific woman, and told him to make the preliminary arrangements and the arranger of preliminary arrangements went and betrothed her for him without being appointed as the agent, behold she is betrothed. ‎[5] There is one authority who says that if the father told his son that he was willing to betroth her for him, and the son remained silent, and the father went and betrothed her for him, behold she is betrothed. Due to his being ashamed in front of the father he remained silent and in effect appointed him an agent to betroth her for him. However in a similar case if it were another person then the betrothal is doubtful. ‎[6] All are fit to be an agent for betrothal except the deaf-mute, insane, and minor because they are lacking mental capacity, and the Gentile because he is not a son of the covenant and the slave for he is not within the laws of betrothal. [Note: There are those who say that the first agent is able to appoint a second agent (*Halachot*, R. Mordechai Ben Hillel, Chapter “*Hamekabel*” in the name of some anonymous Rabbis) if he transmits to him the betrothal money or object that the owner transmitted to him, but if the owner did not transmit to him the betrothal money but only commanded him to betroth with any money he might want, he cannot appoint an agent. And there are those who say that in all cases the first agent cannot appoint a second agent (*Hagahot* *Mordechai*, Chapter *Haish* *Mekadesh*). If he sends a document through a non-Jew to an Israelite friend who is in another place and appoints him to be an agent to betroth him a woman there are those who say that the law is like in *Gittin*; and there are those who say that (as is explained below, Chapter 141) (Rabenu Yerucham) all agree that with regard to *kidushin* she is consecrated according to biblical law. (Thus it is written in *Bet* *Yosef*.)] ‎[7] If one says to an agent betroth me to a woman in a specific place and he betrothes her in another place, she is not betrothed. And likewise in all instances concerning a change; for if he said betroth me unconditionally and he was betrothed to her conditionally or if he said to him betroth her conditionally and he betrothed her unconditionally or the condition is changed, she is not betrothed. ‎[8] If he should say to him “betroth her to me and behold she is in such and such a place” and he betrothes her in a different place she is betrothed, because he does not insist he merely points out to him the place. ‎[9] If one appoints an agent to betroth for him a specific woman and the agent goes and betrothes her for himself, behold this is deceitful, and what is done is done if he did not betroth her with the sender’s money. Even if he said to her first, “I was sent by Ploni to betroth you to him” (and at the hour of betrothal he said to her “you are betrothed unto me” behold she is betrothed to the agent) (Tur) provided that the woman heard and completely understood before she accepted the betrothal money or object when he said “behold you are betrothed unto me,” because otherwise she accepted the betrothal according to what was said at the beginning, i.e., to betroth her to Ploni. However, if the agent erred and said, “you are betrothed unto me” there is nothing to fear as *hekdesh* made by mistake is not considered *hekdesh*. There are those who are strict and require a bill of divorce. ‎[10] If the woman, herself, did not want to be betrothed to the sender and was betrothed to the agent himself, there is no deceit. ‎[11] If one says to his agent, go and betroth unto me a woman and the agent dies and it is not known if he betrothed a woman to him or did not betroth, behold he is to be presumed betrothed and it is to be presumed that the agent carried out his job. Since he does not know which woman he is betrothed to, behold he is forbidden to all women that have relatives, which are in the class of illicit relationships, for example: a woman who has a daughter or mother or a sister or anyone like them. For if you say he may marry this one, perhaps her mother was betrothed to him by his agent or her sister or her daughter. But it is permissible a woman who does not have relatives; (or) for example if she has a female relative as for example a mother or a sister, etc. anyone like them and this relative was a married woman when he appointed the agent, even though she was divorced before the death of the agent, behold he is permitted to her. And we do not say that perhaps the agent betrothed him to her relative after she was divorced because she was not fit when the agent was appointed, and a man does not appoint an agent to betroth for him a woman unless she is able to be betrothed at the time of the appointment of agency. [Note: And thus if her relatives came and said we were not betrothed and proceed to get married he is permitted to this woman for behold certainly the relatives were not betrothed (R. Nissim B. Reuben Gerondi, Chapter *Hamekabel*, R. Isaac Ben Sheshet, Chapter 82). There are those who say that similarly it is a law if one commands to betroth a certain woman and the agent dies he is immediately forbidden to her female relatives, for the reason that it is a presumption that the agent completed his mission (Tosaphot, Chapter *Hamekabel*) and there are those who differ with this.] ‎[12] If one appoints an agent to betroth him to a specific woman and the agent departs and betrothes her for him, and the sender himself betrothes her mother or her daughter or her sister and it is not known which of them was betrothed first, both of them need a bill of divorce and are forbidden to him. ‎[13] If the agent is appointed and his agency is cancelled before the betrothal, behold it is null; however if it is not known whether his agency was cancelled before or after the betrothal, behold she is doubtfully betrothed. ‎[14] (A priori the agent’s status) cannot be cancelled except in the presence of the agent himself, however if it is cancelled but not before him, it is still a valid cancellation. ‎[15] If the agent is not confirmed by witnesses and he says, “I betrothed you for myself” and she says, “to the first.” And if the second said to the woman you are betrothed to me and she says, “I am not betrothed to you,” then he is forbidden to all her relatives, but she is permitted to his relatives. If she says, “I was betrothed to the first” and he says, “I did not betroth you,” or if she says, “I don’t know,” she is presumed to be betrothed to the second. If, however, the agent is confirmed by witnesses and he says, “I betrothed her to myself,” and she says, “to the first,” it is presumed that she is betrothed to the first (even so, the second is forbidden to her relatives) (*Magid* *Mishnah* in the name of R. Aharan). If she says, “I don’t know,” then both of them give bills of divorce and if they consent one may give a bill of divorce and the other marries. [Note: There are those who differ and say that even if the agency is confirmed, if the agent says that he withdrew from his agency, she is not betrothed to the first and similarly if the agency is not confirmed and the sender says that he appointed the agent, he is forbidden to her female relatives. (Tur in the name of R. Asher Ben Yechiel). However if afterwards the agent says, “I thought that I betrothed her for myself, but later I remembered that I betrothed her to my sender,” we are to rely on the first opinion (of this paragraph) (*Hagahot* *Mordechai* in the name of the *Tshuvouth* of R. Meir). An agent that said, “I betrothed you to the sender,” and she says, “you did not betroth me to the sender,” then the sender is forbidden to her relatives on the words of the agent.
Version: Hilchot Kidushin, trans. by Steven H. Garten. HUC, 1975
Source: http://library.huc.edu/pdf/theses/Garten%20Steven%20Howard-CN-Rab-1975%20rdf.pdf
License: CC-BY