💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 1952 captured on 2024-07-09 at 03:43:56. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hi bartender, 1 yerba mate, please... That's the safe and cheap thing that I only know.
Every time I encounter a problem in college, I already start to get these thoughts about what am I even doing in life and who the heck I am to the society.
IDK, I went to college probably just to stabilize my social label, and pretend to be a good slave. College is the reason why my parents still pay for me. Otherwise, I would have to find a job.
IDK, I just can't understand the modern economy. People around me, seem to only consume and label themselves with the stuff someone else has produced. People buy Netflix, Spotify, Discord Nitro, new brandy clothes, shoes, games, electronic cigarettes("vapes" or something), fuzzy drinks, eat trashy stuff (well me too, but when I realize I have nothing better), tickets on a concert... and I barely buy one of these things. For example, I no longer buy games, I have a few for which I only install some mods or maps and then enjoy them for free.
IDK, Maybe to give people jobs and a reason to live, the upper ones have to put obstacles and care about a general balance to keep them as slaves. But I don't know what they do with the ones who earn but never want to spend it. Hehe, aren't they a natural deflation?
IDK, Everything is a poison or a trap these days. You can't trust anybody, so you measure every potential path in risk, and results matter. Forced migrations, and maybe a few other factors, have led me to think that most of the things that are there to buy are not stable.
IDK, Why do I have to pay taxes? Everyone is a parasite these days. If I don't steal a thing, someone else is gonna do it. I feel more connected to the city I was born in, rather than to the whole country I come from. Yet the media constantly group us into countries.
IDK, I observe my parents and they both seem to be stuck in some kind of a party or college. I like to call them the Love Parade generation. My feelings and thoughts sometimes lead me to remind them of a potential future:
"under the pretext of lack of money from the government, and low working force, I won't be able to take care of my old parents, so what... will I have to put my parents into a furnace?".
Literally, from time to time I say these sorts of ideas to them, while at the same time smiling, but they almost always ignore it.
IDK, I grew up among the upper and lower classes, and despite that, I couldn't find any stable or long-term friends or people to hang out with among these classes. Every time I for example will think about a girl to potentially talk to, I will always ask myself how awkward her face looks, how degenerated my kids would be, or what's her financial situation. I think that no matter how rich I would be, I will always look at the matter of money.
IDK, I feel so orthodox compared to all the people around me. Well, I have made up religion for myself, which eventually has turned out to be just a collection of histories that defines me, my promised land, and even my race. The most unique fact about it is that I am also fully conscious of these histories being made up. This allows me to justify almost everything that I do. It is kinda funny that the ones who wish to be religious tend to act more like atheists, and vice versa.
IDK, If I can simply label everyone around me as the "others" or worse, then why do I have to care for them?
IDK, People in my country beware of immigrants. Why can't they realize that it is their own children who want to put them into a grave? Just to reduce the costs.
IDK, I know that I am a parasite to them... But I probably won't be fighting with the flow of a river of trends that I can see, so... Well, I guess I will stay as I am.
Maybe someone will relate to these thoughts...
i understand these thoughts yeah, a lot of this is def the construction of capitalism. "why can't we give everyone enough to live?" is met with "because they have to earn it". i think people are not bad, many people are kind when you can actually connect to them, but capitalism forces us to fight eachother so that we aren't fighting the rich. because if we do decide to work together, the rich loose their power over us. so its the one thing they don't want us to do.