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2022-10-16

I feel like right now I'm in a major state of flux. So many parts of my life seem to be changing so quickly, and I want to cram as much more into it as possible, and take advantage of everything. In retrospect it seems like the changes I made were so obvious, I regret not making them 10 years ago, but at that point there was no way I could have known what I needed, nor had the maturity to really take advantage of them in a really healthy way.

My major goals for improvement right now are to

continue eating better
start exercising the creative part of my brain more, especially through writing
keep up the social momentum I'm feeling

It's weird how just a little bit of social interaction with the right people in the world can sort of unleash all this pent up desire for socialization and interaction. I almost feel like I ought to be careful not to overdo it and push people away. But I shouldn't just turn away either.

I am begging for change but I don't really understand what that means for me. I am putting my faith in the universe and letting myself be led through this burning process. I'm restless. I can't wait for it to start in earnest. I know the work will be hard but the rewards will be worth it, even though I don't know what they really are.

Slowly, slowly I will become me.