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Jealousy and Possessiveness:
"I trust you. But I also have Google Earth tracking your location."
"My jealousy is a sign of love, just like a mosquito bite is a sign of affection."
Stonewalling and Silent Treatment:
"Silent treatment? More like a one-person mime show where the punchline is my frustration."
"I'm not ignoring you, I'm just practicing my selective hearing skills."
Keeping Score:
"We should start a relationship spreadsheet to track our good deeds. It'll be fun, I promise."
"Love is not a competition, but if it were, I'd be winning by a landslide."
1 week ago