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"Gemini"

I know it’s overdone, but that won’t stop me venting my spleen. Perhaps I can make some new points.

Why a gemini capsule is clearly superior to an equivalent website

Let’s take an overview of everyfuckingwebsite, and gather some totally-objective, absolutely-scientific, research. The methodology is simple - I make intelligent guesses. It’s got me this far in life.

How many pop-ups, on average, do you like in front of the text you’re reading? If your answer was above zero, you are wrong. 1 point to Gemini.
Raise your hand if you love autoplay. Anyone who can’t click a ‘play next’ button on Youtube is discounted. 2 points to Gemini.
Who makes the best font decisions? The website’s designer, or you? That’s right: 3 points to Gemini.

How should we implement light and dark mode in every website. We can:

Ask every website designer to implement this properly, make sure the browser remembers the choice, then synchronise all browser configurations across every device and finally install plugins to render dark/ light mode on sites which have not implemented it properly, while leaving the ‘new tab’ to be a blinding, retina-burning experience for everyone because it never respects plugins.

or B)

Make the client do it.

5 points to Gemini (+1 for saving my retinas).

Should the internet be fast, or slow? 6 points to Gemini.
How interested are you in notifying Pizza Express about your religion, sexual preferences, and genetic information? If you answered ‘somewhat’, then your sexual preferences are clearly weird and I’m going to kink-shame you. 7 Points to Gemini.
Would you like to stop mass surveillance by looking up how it works, then explaining it to your nearest, aging, political representative, or by just by not having your computer give out that information in the first place? 8 Points to Gemini.
When you connect to a website, how much bandwidth would you like to spend telling the website exactly where your cursor is? 8 points to Gemini (this isn’t really an additional point, so let’s keep this scientific).
Who can handle disability support such as making font-size adjustable? The site designer or the user? 9 Points to Gemini.

For a particularly egregious example, see Bleeping Computer[a].

[a]