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  =====>                      VacHaus provisionals                      <===== 
    / /                   a TNtD (Try Not to Die) drop                   \\    

                                 A Poetry tDrop

                                  by Wetdryvac
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The Disease
February 5, 1992

1) Knowledge

my friend I am fighting my addiction
information, drug of the wise
knowing is a pestilence
for every person that I meet
I want to know them more
and knowing, I am helpless
I want to know them more

I know this
strange as strange may seem
knowledge and trust are brutal bound
strange the secrets to be exchanged
listened to and tried to tell
tried to bare and tired to bear
for everyone is addicted
the more you know the more to ask
the more you ask to know
bigger datum transit
refusing to be pushed down  ��
though you might think it would
in trusting those clearer to you
datum collection lives easier

upon the other side I find this
understanding desire  �� knowing is not enough
I want to feel what life is like
each new experience from the inside
raw facts feed the dwelling heart
but who can feel the dwelling?

I know how one thing leads to another
but the feeling is long ago emptied
my friends in their discussions jest on troubled topics
unable to bend serious will
who then is damaged by touching on the trouble

I ask you
where went wrong the want to knoe
there is so much untouchable in the verbal
taboo  ��
but still looking for understanding, wonder
where did the taboo grow childlike
where did lack of understanding promote
where did the hunger for knowledge grow

2) Differences

there is much I make no care about
untouched askances avoiding condemnation
ever onward looking beyond the inluminal
dark mantle of personal unspoken things

where was the drug of being a man
the condition of being perceived by others
physical self conditional upon view of physical self
mental self conditional upon evaluation of self
how did body become boy/girl theme
how did differences become merged
thrown out in our humdrum drone

I often stop to wonder
what sourced this feeling
juxtaposed upon anything
if I am different, where then is my data
your data bent astray from this particular genome
your revolution nearly identical
differences mental subtly hungry
obscured by windows of the mind

I wish for everyone to talk, openly
define themselves clearly in life performances
fantastic presentations of act and dream
I want to know every waking thing
where the fear goes, here the fear comes
and I stop to think
if you were to ask me the same courtesy
where could I put down words

formality, some diffident construct
bad judge of what not to ask, asking nothing
knowledge slipping from me in this limited time
where a better way should long ago have sheltered
perhaps in comfort those things willfully told
happily obscuring some private heated heart
dreams exposed or hidden by whim, presentation
affirmation

3) Closing

I do not wish to hurt you
hurt you none the less
unable to stop questions
unable not to know
unable to see reluctance
unable to staunch the flow

so I ask
late in the game
if the data grows to much
remember the words are only words
and stopping simply a matter of quiet heart
when the mind runs wild in the drug
clarity of caring obscured in word
it is only addiction 


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    
    With thanks to the good folks at Hackers.Town for answering the very
    n00best of questions, with the following people politely [REDACTED].
    May your time go in a manner you consent to.
    
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    
    IRC [REDACTED]
    Poetry, Short Form, With Contact https://writing.exchange/@wetdryvac
    Poetry, Long Form, With Contact https://landofkittens.social/Wetdryvac
    Web https://www.wetdryvac.net
    KoFi https://ko-fi.com/wetdryvac
    Links https://linktr.ee/wetdryvac
    MATRIX [REDACTED]
    BBS [REDACTED]
    Primary mastodon residence, With Contact https://hackers.town/@Wetdryvac
    All the other coms access points [REDACTED]

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