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It’s so discouraging to constantly shift between being optimistic and joyful, to just falling into the same melancholy all over again. There’s some sort of inherent sadness that comes with each one of the paths I take in life — as if I was losing something every time — as if I wasn’t enough for something “bigger” — self discovery is fun until you find something you weren’t supposed to., -đź”
2 days ago · 👍 bavarianbarbarian, ivanodin
Anyone objectively looking at my life would probably fall into depression just at the sight of it. Meanwhile, I live my life at the bottom of the ocean, under such incredible pressure, that depression as such can never touch me. I've gone so far and so deep that either I had to live or die. I just happened to live. An accident of fate. And here I am, emotionally like the barnacle encrusted hull of a sunken ship... surrounded by treasure. There is no question of happiness or joy, only continuous swimming. · 1 day ago
So a rabbi I knew once told me that simcha in hebrew means joy, not happiness This is because happiness implys a sort of artifical permanence even the luckiest of us will not sustain. I personaly take heart in the santification of the moon as a reminder that fullness comes and goes, this is the way of the universe we inhabit. We get to have joys, but they come and they go and it's natural . Happiness is maybe something someone is selling us on, and I hope that better days will soon balance out the worse ones again. · 2 days ago