💾 Archived View for nanako.mooo.com › gemlog › 2024-07-03-a.gmi captured on 2024-07-09 at 01:13:41. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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More of a personal Gemlog this time around. Honestly, I need to do more of these... Anyway, this is a radical departure from what I usually write about, and people may see this as hooey hooey or "girl, you gotta see a psychiatrist" or "you need Jesus". But I feel it's a genuine experience. You've been warned.
Anyway...
So I'm a Wiccan, and have been since 2013. These days I don't get to observe the sabbats to often just because of my living situation, and I don't do much witchcraft in general, but I try to keep it in my life by meditating, speaking small spells while I'm cooking (kitchen witchcraft is a particular interest to me), repeating some mantras/prayers as I do physical work, and doing the occasional tarot reading. Just small things to keep me connected to my faith.
The main goddess I worship is Macha, though I also occasionally invoke and work with Brigid. For my god I almost always invoked Cernunnos, but he never really felt too strong to me, and I've often wondered why. Like why was it when I meditated on the Lord and Lady that I could easily see and connect with Macha, but not Cernunnos? Why was he a blur?
Well, the other night I was meditating in bed, just sorta seeking to connect with my deities, and also seeking direction, 'cause I feel like I'm in a liminal point in life where I'm transitioning from "can't work" to "maybe can work a bit but don't know what to do". Well, something odd happened. I dunno if I would call it a vision or a "religious experience" or what, but things were different that night. My mind was no longer in my head, but in a grassy field surrounded by a forest, one that I often visited when connecting with the Lord and Lady. Macha came to me with a horse, as usual, and welcomed me. But so did Morrigan. This isn't the first time I've encountered Morrigan, but it was the first time she and Macha both spoke to me. I learned that it is not a Lord and Lady that I have, but rather two Goddesses looking over me. For the first time ever it wasn't Macha plus an amorphous black blob, but Macha and Morrigan, both having chosen to work with me. It seems I have a Lady and a Lady instead.
But the weirdness didn't stop there. After a bit of connection, I asked them both why they connected to me. Macha explained that she's the one who will protect me and give me comfort and strength, while Morrigan will protect me and guide me. But then Morrigan said something else to me that was totally unexpected: she called me her Lilith. Macha then affirmed this.
I was confused as heck after I came out of my meditation. Well also excited since I finally found out who my second deity is after all these years (and heck yeah, I've got two ladies), but mainly confused. Why did they call me a "Lilith"? What am I supposed to do with this information? What potential do they see in me that they would call me that? Why would Celtic goddesses call me something that was decidedly *not* Celtic?
I think I need to do some reading and more meditations. Since the New Moon is coming up, I may do some tarot reading for myself as well to try and find some direction with those.
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