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# Part II # A stern looking middle aged man wearing a white lab coat and a stethoscope around his neck stepped briskly into my office. He introduced himself as Dr. Kim, chief of medicine, and asked to speak with me in private. Lydia, pleased with this development, waited in the hall. After about 15 minutes, the good doctor stepped out into the hall to deliver his impressions. “Upon examination, I find the patient to be quite possibly the healthiest, and sanest, subject I have ever examined,” Dr. Kim declared. Lydia was floored. “Healthiest? He’s 67 years old.” “I know, it's really remarkable,” Dr. Kim said. Lydia crossed her arms. “And 'sanest'? What do you mean by that exactly?” she asked. “I’m sorry, did I say that? I apologize for the oversight. The patient is the ’most sane’ subject I have ever examined,” Dr. Kim corrected himself. “Doctor, he’s covered in peanut butter,” Lydia implored. “He wears it well, doesn’t he?” the doctor replied admiringly, drawing a frustrated scowl from Lydia. “In terms of his prognosis,” Dr. Kim continued, “the patient has shared with me his own personal treatment goals, which I have to say, from a purely mental health standpoint, are just brilliant.” “Do tell,” Lydia responded flatly. “I understand he has recently purchased a dog. This recent addition has inspired him to emulate the animal’s "gregarious nature" and "playful spirit," in his words. In short, he has confided in me a desire to follow the ‘way of the dog’ so to speak.” “What." “He wants to learn to embody the essence of the dog, in all its vitality and warmth.” “He wants to be an actual dog or he just wants to be like a dog?" Lydia asked. “Exactly,” said Dr. Kim. “Like a dog. Spunky and stout of heart, that sort of thing.” “And you endorse this?” Lydia asked. “Miss, not only do I endorse this,” Dr. Kim exclaimed, “I… well," he searched for words. "Yes. I endorse this.” Lydia, suspecting Dr. Kim’s integrity had been somehow compromised, thanked him for his time and escorted the doctor to the elevator. She returned to the office to find me patiently observing Lady Von Champion taking a number two underneath my desk. “Fascinating animal, isn’t she?” I asked with all the breathless ardor of a brand new parent. Lydia grimaced. Thinking quickly on her feet with the resourcefulness of a loyal veteran assistant, she offered an appealing diversion. The best environment to truly observe Lady Von Champion would be outside, at Golden Gate Park. I agreed that we must go at once. After a brief shower, we observed Lady rooting about in the dirt, chasing leaves and being a dog, all the while Lydia racked her mind for a way to get me back to normal. She brought up subjects that once interested me - golf, mergers and acquisitions - but not even my most hostile takeovers interested me. Nothing could break my concentration on the carefree gaiety of Lady Von Champion. “I'm sorry Lydia, I don’t mean to be rude, but I am just overwhelmed by the beauty of this dog,” I told her. “She’s really something, sir,” she replied. “That’s a little vague, Lydia. She’s definitely ‘something’, try to be more specific.” “She’s magnificent, sir. Absolutely indomitable.” “Yes…” I said, gazing into the distance watching Lady Von Champion try to fit her tail into her mouth. “Lydia," I announced, "I have an announcement to make." "Despite my considerable wealth, this dog is free in ways that I am not. Perhaps in ways that I can never be. She just kind of does things arbitrarily ... and I love it. Everyone loves it!” "Lydia, do I have any friends?" "Ohh..." Lydia responded dryly, opening her phone. She listed off a few of my closest professional relationships. I asked Lydia if she was my friend. She informed me that she was my employee. I said that was kind of like a friend, right? Kind of, she agreed. Lydia was attempting to change the subject to what was discussed or possibly offered/exchanged with Dr. Kim in my office earlier that morning when I stopped her. “Employee Lydia," I addressed her professionally, "look around you." Lydia did as instructed. "Look at Lady Von Champion." Lydia observed Lady Von Champion barking at a pinecone. "Do you see?" "I do ... see," Lydia replied. "I want to do something fun. What’s something fun?” “Business is fun." I frowned. "Golf is fun. Fundraisers are fun." “Hm, yes. Like a party," I said. "I want to go to a party, Lydia," I told her. Lydia checked her phone and informed me that my foundation was holding an event that evening. “This is a very fun cause of yours, you'll like it. The foundation is donating a new squash court to a country club," Lydia said proudly. "That sounds convivial at best," I scoffed. "It's to raise support for the abolishment of the inheritance tax,” Lydia beamed. “Change of plans, Lydia. Find me a cooler party to attend.” “I don’t know of any other parties, sir.” “Do you know any cool people?” I asked. “Yes,” Lydia lied. “Excellent," I whistled for Lady Von Champion, who promptly ignored me. "They’ll know where to go.”