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#depression - the default condition in an unchanging world.
#fear - limbs turning ridged, form compressed, I am a water heater
#loss - the feeling of emptiness following a departure
#optimism - baseless conjecture. Doing it anyway.
#safe - probably not harmful. Maybe.
ostracization[1]
Scrambling up the side of a mountain, the only handholds some taproot vegetables. Turnups, carrots, in various hues.
She is chasing someone, needs to catch up. But the group has left her behind, and split into three each going different directions. She didn't know they had planed that and she didn't understand why.
Ostracization.
Welling up in her chest a nauseous feeling, bitter to her tongue burning her eyes. Looking at the plants which she had pulled up to get to this vantage point, regret, sadness at waste. Why did she even bother trying to follow, how was it the others even came this way before her. She had seen them make their way up the path just before but she couldn't make out any sensible trace of their passing. No foot falls to show the way. The sadness and what she recognized as a welling despair shifted toward resentment and anger. They had purposely led her down a path she couldn't follow to abandon her in the wilds, or at the very least she thought this was the intent. She became angry not so much at them, because in her heart she knew she had never really trusted the group. They had never really understood each other and she had never really fit in. She had always expected that she would be last one picked for teams, and first one offered for sacrifice had the need ever risen. No she was angry at herself for making the effort she made to become a part of the group. for trying faith in humanity. She had known better, but wanted to believe that there was a chance. Even now she felt like maybe she could have tried harder.
She thought of returning below. .
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