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I have a fairly active and healthy social life. I'm not really an extrovert, but I do know many people in my life well enough to feel comfortable inviting them to have lunch or coffee. I also have a handful of close friends who know me well enough to reach out to me proactively and with whom we can share our problems. In person I see some of these close friends weekly, some once or twice a month, and some only a few times a year, but we are all there for each other.
One person I know is not so lucky. They do have some friends, but none of their friends talk to them proactively or even check in on them, aside from me. They feel they have no-one with whom they can share their struggles, because no-one ever reaches out. This person is autistic, which means they already struggle to share their emotions, and it is very difficult for them to make new friends. When they do see their friends in person, their friends prefer to talk amongst themselves and do not include the person in their conversations. This happens quite frequently both in-person and in online group chats, the most recent occasion happening at a gathering last weekend.
All this leads to them feeling extremely lonely and insignificant--they don't matter, and were they to stop talking to their friends and move away, no-one would miss them. Especially after this weekend, this person is now severely depressed.
I want to help them somehow, but I'm not sure what I can do, if anything. Right now I'm the only outlet this person has to talk about any of their issues. They recognize that that's not fair to them or to me, but they feel they have no choice, because other people simply don't care. I don't want to seem them feel so alone, but I can't make their friends change their behavior, and I can't make the person find new friends that will treat them differently.
Have you or someone you know struggled with loneliness and feeling like you don't matter, and have you or they found a way out? If so, and especially if you or the person you know is on the spectrum, I'd love to hear about it.
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[Last updated: 2024-05-29]