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< Sky's really pretty. oh I'm growing up too.

The possibility of progress seems slim until you are finally able to look backwards in the rear view mirror on where you came from.

I sympathize a lot regarding where you were as a child and where you end up. Does it surprise you that things didn't end up much worse? I used to think that realization would strike me like an epiphany, but it hasn't come yet.

It really is remarkable. It sounds like you're doing well.

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~aei wrote:

Does it surprise you that things didn't end up much worse?

Yeah, very much. To a fascinating degree.

I lived in an environment that kept reiterating how "you'll miss your childhood" and now I am honestly not sure if I exited the "childhood" portion, but now I can say that I don't really miss it. It wasn't anything remarkable. It was boring, bland, restricted, there isn't really anything to look back at. My schedule for several years was just "wake up, school if it isn't a weekend, study, sleep".

For the majority of the previous years was me thinking how I will be an adult and how I will never be happy again and I wasted my entire life up to that point on academic performance that still did not please the only people who forcefully pushed me on.

It was a pretty stupid thought to have, probably too much for someone that young.

I am glad to have seen what life really has to offer, a bit disappointed for how long it took me but better late that never.