💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 1802 captured on 2024-06-16 at 12:52:02. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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do you procrastinate, fellow patrons? i do.
i'm currently writing a reflective journal for a college assignment relating my intercultural experiences in educational and workplace settings, but i can't bring myself to finish it.
i love words more than i could ever write. i've spent the last half an hour writing a short catharsis on accepting failing to stay on task in the hopes of getting back to it...
http://home.pryvian.net/home/merlin/art/writing/sink_and_float.txt
... but it's just so incredibly difficult. it's something about /having/ to do it for a teacher that i can't quite understand.
i'll get there before the deadline, like i've done a thousand times already. my education is littered with the graffiti of an ADHD's half-completed thoughts scribbled in doctor's handwriting.
Hold my beer.
I should be writing my thesis, and instead... I'm programming whatever not important and not too difficult project that will be something like 50 - 200 lines of code...
Normally my personal projects have some key feature/challenge that make them interesting, but they are not too challenging so I'm motivated to work on them for 2-3 days without doing anything else. After that I have some idea that seems easy to do, except maybe for some little detail, 3 more days working on it, .... I'm not finishing most of them. Either I'm not able to solve the key challenge and give up, or I solve it and then I don't have the motivation to continue with it anymore. I save the project in case I want to continue it later and switch to another project.
On the other hand my thesis feels so out of reach and boring and too challenging... Moreover I'm not sure I'll stay in academia after all so I have less motivation to work on it.