💾 Archived View for tilde.club › ~iolfree › incidents.txt captured on 2024-06-16 at 12:56:08.
⬅️ Previous capture (2024-05-26)
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On this page I hope to compile notes on odd incidents that happened to me in the last few years, rather than making individual files about each... THE FAKE IKEA I looked ridiculous, I'd washed my hair and let it dry in the sun and it went twice normal size i guess but I thought maybe I can carry this off. I stopped off at 'Ikea' but the staff were falling round the place laughing at my ridiculous hair. So I just wanted an underlay for a rug called 'Stopp Filt' and it turned out that they could order it in for fifteen euros - and it was only a six euro item. It turned out this was some clown world fake Ikea. The real Ikea is 25 minutes away. Welcome to my world. The CAR JACKER I drove to the island bridge in the winter. It was really dark. I had a torch and there were LED lights on the dogs. As I got to the car park a small skinny migrant was coming at my car, he was right up against my window, reaching in the window, I looked at him and he had droopy eyes that were half-closed all the time. I got away but I had to turn around the car and get past him again! By now I had the doors locked and the windows rolled up. I rev the nuts off the engine and get past him but he tries to open the door as I pass him. And I know if he'd got in he would have choked me. the ABORTION posters There were posters celebrating the law being changed. In the first year there were exactly 6666 abortions. And they were gloating about it... Since then the numbers have gone up. They were outside the church, shrine of Our Lady of Dublin. They were corrugated plastic. I could twist them off the poles, rotate them so I was going along the street doing that and binning them. Then three communists or regime people followed me and went ahead of me to the next poster and eyeballed me so I had to stop. (none of their business) It's risky in my country even to have a pro life car sticker. That's all I can think of for now. (edited to add) THE BURDEN this is something I was thinking back over lately. I wanted a bulb for my mag-lite. It was a tenner postage to Ireland but freepost to London so I asked my friend in London could he take delivery and bring it over, because we would meet every second weekend for a beer but he was reluctant and I thought it was just his sense of humour or persona so he did bring the little envelope over but it turned out he was increasingly nasty about it and it turns out he is suspicious and seemed to assume it was drugs, no matter how much I explained - Never again! Not worth it to save a tenner. at WAR AGAINST THE PUBLIC I drive around without a seat belt. One day an unmarked car started flashing blue lights, huge fuss, a woman cop jumped out and demands my licence and I get fined 60 euros and she was only half my size. I asked for descretion, leniency, but she said 'sorry, not today' So there are cops going around watching other drivers instead of just watching where they're going. Myself, I do it the other way round. They see joe public as the big enemy, and they try to blend in with joe public in their unmarked cars and I still don't wear a seatbelt DON'T GO THERE Imagine if this happened. You go to your brother's seaside holiday house where you can hear the waves crashing on the rocks. You walk to the nearest village with the dog but everywhere you go in the village he keeps popping up. You can't help thinking that he may be doing some sort of psychological trickery but can't quite discern what it is. And he invites his friends and they are such nervous wrecks that you go mute and turn to drink. And so you go to the convenience store and buy some tins of beer and you are walking along the main road of the village just drinking a can of beer and your brother is there and he's a wine snob and also ridiculously law abiding. Awkward. the poorly designed 'ZINE There was a guy who did a 'zine years ago and it was a4 size. All the text started at the left and went all the way to the right with no gutter. There was no white space and the text was all justified. Also instead of using a longarm stapler he was just using sticky tape or putting in staples at the edge and these are all exactly what you never do in page layout but he wasn't too bothered. the fellow who speaks ENGLISH I would always go to the main shopping street and the scammer would frantically ask me if I speak English and I would always claim that I did not speak it. He would ask everyone if they speak English. (It's a trick like asking "can I ask you a question?" ) And so he asks what language I speak. So I said that it's an English-speaking country, you don't need to spend all day asking everyone on the street if they speak English and he claimed that not everyone speaks English. I said don't want to be constantly asked me if I speak English, every time I come into town. If you were to describe the topography of the local park you could say it is mostly on a plateau and drops off towards the liffey. Well one day there was something wrong on the road through the park, some emergency and I knew I would never get home my usual way, so I drove my car across the grass and down off the edge of the plateau towards the gunpowder fort. Only a footpath but a good shortcut. Then a small van followed... and it came down the slope just fine then a double decker appeared at the top and gravity took over and it flipped over. Along the way down it killed some walkers. OK so I thought they needed help 'someone please call 999' I said. I went up to see could I help and there was also an avalanche and all these poor people were buried alive and there really was no sign of them. And if you were to play the blame game you could say that I was the cause of it by leading all these other drivers astray. SO THERE YOU GO, just a sample of the almost unimaginable things that seem to happen to me - I just cannot win. / / /