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< Hey, I'm not a talker. okay?
During my studies I had some friends. I was lucky that some people were happy to make the first step and talk to me and dig through this thick layout of shyness.
But after the studies there was a lot of moving around, we lost track of each others. I tried to maintain even the smallest connection, but I saw them breaking one by one.
Since then I didn't made new friends. I never know if it's because I can't, or if it's because I don't really want to. A part of me is not really looking for more company.
Now I came to peace with that. I have a SO and nice colleagues, I think it's enough. It feels very weird to say to people that you don't have friends. But I don't really feel bad about it.
I also realize that being "social", can take a lot of different forms. Having friends is just one of them. Family, neighbors, colleagues, local shopowners, sports clubs are all different way to socialize.