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Anglophone Deficiencies

Native English speakers commonly muck-up every sentence thrown at them in a way one doesn’t normally find with Spaniards, Serbs, Finnish, or Germans.

This cannot come from the same reasons that few Europeans can pronounce Cantonese words - that we simply don’t have those sounds. We have ‘con’, but cannot say ‘pivo’. When a native Polak makes the noises ‘pee-voh’, the anglophone states, ‘pivō’, as if it rhymed with ‘bungalow’.

I have similar treatment to my name. I say “Malin”, they respond with “Marlin”, and I think I know why.

My accent sounds ‘posh’, which anglophones think of as quintessentially English (as in the country). They then take a necessary liberty to translate everything they hear. When the posh Englishman says ‘ka’, they translate to ‘kar’ (spelt ‘car’). When he says Catholic ‘mäs’ (rhymes with ‘class’ if you have any), they must hear ‘măs’ (rhymes with ‘has’).

Throughout the anglophone’s entire life, they have spoken with people using very different sounds by perpetually translating those noises to their own noises, according to a set of rigid rules.

It’s no wonder then, when they encounter foreign words, that the translation continues.